So Ladies, What Do You Think? Once A Player Always A Player Or People Can Change?
Guys? Personal Experience & Or Personal Opinion; Once A Player Always A Player Or People Can Change?
I don't think having sex with someone, then realizing you don't want a relationship, is being a player. its just changing your mind. its not marriage. you can change your mind. its anyones right. SHOULD be anyones expectation.
any relation you enter into is uncertain. that's life.
if sex within a relationship is so important to u, then you should not have sex just to get someone into a relationship. if you want to have sex, have sex. if they turn out to not want a relationship, well, you guys had sex which you wanted, no harm done,
if you want a committed relationship for sex wait till your committed. then if he /leaves- you still had sex in a relationship.
you can't control what other people do. you can control your actions.
if you don't want sex in itself don't do it.
i do not think many people take sex seriously unless they really like the person.
if you have sex, with someone who, it turns out doesn't like you that much. are you upset you had sex with someone who doesn't want a relationship? or are you upset you had sex with someone who doesn't like u?
i e would you WANT to stay in a relationship with someone who does not like u. I hope not.
so what happened is, you had sex with someone who doesn't like you very much., or thought they did but realized they dont. and they were honest about that, instead of staying around under false pretenses.
most posts I've seen on here say guys have to have sex before they know whether or not they are in love.. so maybe they just found out they are not.
theres nothing on this site for sure that you could put together and say in a cohesive way, this is a player, because the definition, will always conflict with other definitions.
bottom line. get to know people very well if you want to be with them for more than just sex.
if you don't get to know them very well, first. font be shocked they turned out to be something other than what you thought.
Alot of posts claim guys from 16-24 JUST want sex. If most guys just want sex, than a player is not a player he is most guys.
In a sense, everyone is a player until they fall in love.,
If people were consistent upfront and insisted on getting a clear picture of what's going on, instead of being coy holding back info and playing games, to 'catch bf/ girlfriend. then they would have way more control and intuitive understanding of the situation.
if you play games, you get played. not getting what you want, doesn't mean didn't play.
ive yet to see someone who was with someone for months,knew them very well, kew each others intentions, THEN had sex, then got dumped-because of sex.
People who say they 'got played' usually have sex before ready. So when they get dumped, They feel manipulated..
Who played u. You did what you don't feel good about. You played you. You did not take yourself seriously.
You did not act on behalf of what was, but what you hoped would be.
Deal in reality you won't feel 'played'.
Woah Woah Woah! I neevr said I felt play, or that having sex with someone the changing your mind about having a relationship. A PLAYER (because apparently you have no idea what that is) makes a girl believe he wants a relationship, gets the goods, then dog's her. He had NO intention of having a relationship just having sex with multiple girls. And I'd never have sex with someone to keep them in a relations where & when in the HELL did I EVER mention that in my question? A player isn't honest
about just wanting sex or not even liking me & why would I be in a relationship with someone who doesn't like me? Where is your answer even coming from? None of what you're saying goes with my question. I'm not a player, I don't have sex unless I'm in a exclusive relationship and I don't play games, I don't know what type of people you're around but if this is what they do, they all seem like jerks ma'am. I don't feel played, I've never had sex with anyone before I was ready, & I've never
regretted any of my sexual partners/experiences. I dated a CHEATER, okay, he lied about f*cking women behind my back outside of our one year relationship. I didn't feel played, I felt CHEATED.
The person my question is about is someone who was a player years in the past.
@A PLAYER (because apparently you have no idea what that is) makes a girl believe he wants a relationship, gets the goods, then dog's her. He had NO intention of having a relationship just having sex with multiple girls. And I'd never have sex with someone to keep them in a relations where & when in the HELL did I EVER mention that in my question? A player isn't honest
i was not talking about YOU. I was not talking about the concept of a player.
i don't think players exist.
just people who do things they don't want to do and get angry when they didn't get out of it what they wanted.
if a person WANTED to have sex, then it didn't work out, theyd think, well at least I had sex. they only feel played because they were using sex to get a relationship.
how is that not playing?
if they don't want sex without a relationship, why are they having sex before its established. that's a _choice_.
You said a player is someone who convinces MULTIPLE people he/she wants a relationsh
They do, they have multiple girls more than even two that they claim exclusivity with, but are sleeping with them all thet's a player. Player with females feelings for sex, PURPOSELY.
if he's able to convince a lot of people at once that he wants a relationship in the future. I guess they dudnt bother to get to know him very well. nor did they wait till they were in a relatioship to have sex.
he wants one. does not = he is IN one.
if you want to have sex, believing it will be part of a relationship, logically, one would wait till they were in a relationship to have sex.
they didn't. if a person doesn't take themselves seriously, they are playing/inviting games with themselves.
Also men too feel that they were used for sex. its just a matter of doing what you believe you should do, WHEN you believe you should do ut. rather than throwing your hands up and relying on hope.
if you have strong feelings for someone, and you think sex will increase those feelings, and you want to be committed for sex. then you wait for that to be the case.
'players' is based on the belief a person is not in control of themselves. is gullible and easily manipulated.,NOT that a magical manipulator exists
I believe players eists because they're not honest, my best friend was a player had multiple women believing they were in a relationship. He would get whatever he couldn't get from one from another. He would wine them dine them sweet talk them, then brag about how good they were or what freaky things they'd do in bed. Which I would constantly ask him why he'd do it, he would always reply "it's a talent, I'm a player it's just what I do." I stopped being friend with him because of it.
You can have gullible people without 'players' you can't have 'players; without gullible people.
if those women wanted a relationship, why did they sleep with him, just because they ate and drank together. that's a choice.
buying things is simple. sweet talk is simple. being a real vulnerable conflicted human being while intimate with another person, is difficult.
they chose to not get to know him better. they werent that interested in a relationship-or theyd wait.. they just got angry.
That's just it. It's a Lie, a lie, you've ever heard of the sensitive act? Guys take non gullible females used them and turn them into bitches but I thank you for your answer despite the fact I don't agree with it.
You got a point @toulouse. I had a friend who felt played but then again it was her choice to sleep with him. It's just that us girls are expecting more from a guy who doesn't see the same thing and it sux coz you like that person but you know you can't change him.
Although what you explained here is far deeper from the original question haha
Hold it against him. Think about it, if you were a slut in the recent past, don't you think most guys would hold it against you? They wouldn't be like "yeah I know she let the entire football team bang her in high school, but that was then - this is now". Sometimes women can learn a lot from how men do things. They see sluts as bad, thus they don't get involved with sluts, current or former (for the most part). If a guy is a player, for the most part he still has it in him. It'd be different if he was a player in his teens and 20s and now he's in his mid 30s now and wants to settle down...a lot of time would have passed and he could have grown and matured. But now, girl no he's probably playing you as we speak. Most players gonna say "oh I'm not a player no more" sh*t Joe wrote a song about that, don't mean its true. A guy should have changed long before you met him before you decide to take him on. Not taking him on and waiting on him to change and hoping he's telling the truth. Players are manipulative a**holes, how do you think all those girls ended up thinking he wanted a relationship? He played them. He's got you wide open right now and there's a high chance you're being played and don't even know it.
Honestly people change for the moment and I hope I'm wrong for this but I was in a relationship with a "player" and he did the exact same thing. And my advice to you is to always keep your heart guarded because if you do end up breaking up with the guy its going to hurt like hell. But in all honesty they eventually start missing that lifestyle and resort back to their old ways. I mean I'm speaking in general with most players that I have encountered but I may be wrong about your guy and I hope things work between the two of you but like I said just keep your heart guarded okay. And as far as holding it against him well it is his past but you never know sometimes things from the past simply don't stay in the past. So just keep that heart guarded :)
I voted "B".
People can change, but the problem is you don't know WHEN that person has or will changed.
I think it's unfair to completely lock people into mortal condemnation of their pasts and assume they will NEVER learn from their past less-than-positive behavior.
But at the same time you don't know when, or how much the person has changed, or if that person may relapse into their past behavior.
It's all about trust and intuition, because frankly the person in question may not precisely know when THEY changed, or how much they truly have.
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As with you and your boo...use that female intuition of yours and go with what your gut (or wherever the origins of female intuition are) and follow it. 8-)
Totally said everything I was about to.
Thank you, and I am using my female intuition which & I think comes from the ovaries. o.o lol.
I did not vote...the answer is...once a player, they will usually always be a player...in fact, I would probably make the assumption that they will be...of course girls always think that they are gonna change some dude...it happpens...on very rare occasions...o.O
Thank you for you answer. I don't believe I can change him nor do I wanf to or ever intended to. I just wanted ro know what people thought. So thank you. :)
Opinion
9Opinion
I once heard that people don't change but now I consider the source.
She was a type of woman that drove her husband to drink.
He was a man's man, fair, generous and someone you wanted around frequently.
She then turned his family against him and moved out to the big city where she took a gay roommate to help pay rent, etc.
Looking back with 20-20 vision now, I consider her a TAKER that was looking for an out, excuses & preaching this dribble in order to cover up her own failings in trying to make a marriage work with someone obviously of superior character.
If anyone didn't change - it was her.
Most people change automatically over time when their focus and priorities change. Some teenager who think sex is the most important thing is the world might be a player and use girls is his teens and 20's. Later in his 30's his priorities might change and he values family and/or is running a successful company etc and sex might be placed lower on the list of priorities. At least to a point where he don't feel it's needed to be dishonest to get it.
In general people change when they feel there is a need to.
Some people grow and evolve, some don't.
You can't say always this, always that. It depends on the individual.
Absolutely. People can change. People can also stay exactly the same. I think the most important thing is how he treats you now. If he's treating you right, I wouldn't worry about his history. For better or worse, peoples true colors will always shine through.
Thats a hard question... I do think its rare that someone could go from being a player to not. I think if this change did happen it wouldn't be at the drop of a hat... but I mean people do grow up so deff possible to be a player before and not now... but not if its like I was a player last month and now I'm not... lol
I used to be one of the biggest dogs, I was in a relationship and had so many other girls on the side. I'm not going to get deep into detail.
Anyways... I ended up getting back with a girl who I once dated, who im with now, and we have an amazing connection, one that I don't think I could ever find with someone else. We have so much stuff in common and have a lot of the same dislikes and feel passionate about a lot of things. Point being, there's always someone out there who can completely change a person
People can change. A guy I know had sex with 4 different girls in one week once, now he's in a happy relationship with a kid.
Once a player, always a player. People can't change themselves, neither can people change people. As far as I know and as I've seen, only God changes people for the bettter.
lol, players are always players or will always want to be players. It's just the life style they've become comfortable with and while people can change, they tend to stick with what they know.
Girls - get this in your head once and for all - people like that never change! Accept this simple truth and you will spare yourself from a lot of misery!
..but if you want to figure it out the hard way - then go on, knock yourselves out!
Great thank you. It sucks but thank you
Maybe people can change, but I'm certainly not dumb enough to risk it. So for me it's "once a player, always a player."
People never change, only the circumstances force them to play a different role.
people can change, but remember that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
People can change, my friends finance did. He was a pary boy/player when they met and he turned himself around when they started dating
Nope once a player always a player! It's common sense.
When comes to men I don't think too much. It seems to work out well imao
I think people can change; However, one shouldn't expect them to change, nevertheless for you.
I do believe that people can change, but I think that most players don't
As a player once said "gamers don't die they respond"
But people can change over time but not at one moment
im a player. but id change when I find the right person. until then... I'm good
I vote A, I don't believe people can change.
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