Lack of Motivation When it Comes to Weight Loss and Exercise

[Anonymous]

One question that is always asked when it comes to weight loss, is how do I stay motivated to workout. If I told you the answer was think about your end goal, undoubtedly some people would scoff and say that's not enough. If I said keep the focus on your family as motivation so that you can be the healthiest for them, some would say, but I don't have a family to do that for. I could give you a million suggestions and ideas as the one tried and true method for regaining your motivation, but what is and will motivate you for each person, varies. So how do you deal with lack of motivation?

Somewhere in your weight loss journey you will come to a day where you just can't. Maybe you'll feel like there is a reason, maybe there won't be one, but you wake up and you're just like screw this, back to bed or the couch, I'm done! This will happen for everyone and some will ride out the day, do nothing, and hop back to it the next day but for others, this will become a stale mate where they will quite literally give up every single minute, hour, week, and month or months that they have been working out, eating right, and fighting the temptations to sink back into old habits. You have to realize however, that motivation is not a static thing. Even people who are healthy and have exericsed their entire lives, or world class athletes paid millions to essentially workout, find that from time to time motivation wanes, waxes, and comes close to death. You are asking yourself to leave the comfort of being lazy, of being out of shape, of easy fix junk foods, to go put on some workout gear to sweat for an hour and eat some fruits and vegetables. You are asking yourself to make better, but perhaps harder choices that quite frankly, sometimes just aren't as appealing as the alternative in your mind.

The thing is, in your worst I want to quit moments, you have to, have to, have to, keep telling yourself, I can do this and failure is not an option. I don't know anyone who in their old age, claims to have led a fulfilling and meaningful life, that was quoted as saying, it was because I spent it in bed all day or on the couch all day or eating Cheetohs all day. We sometimes think our youth and our health will just be there for us for as long as we need it, but if you're unhealthy now because of your lack of good diet and exericise, you know that's not true. Your body is meant to aid you in living your best life possible and you can't do that if you're killing it slowly but surely by not doing what it needs you to do to keep it healthy for as long as possible.

So what to do when you..just can't.

1. Exercise anyway!

Force yourself if you have to, to put on some tennis shoes and walk around for 10 minutes. Those are ten minutes that you are doing for yourself, that are doing some good for you, and that's ten minutes of work you wouldn't have otherwise done. It may seem like nothing, but the alternative is literally that you would have done nothing. Tell your doubting self that you can do 10 minutes and then do it. Oh and by all means, feel free to bitch about having to do that 10 minutes or more the whole time. Tell yourself how awful it is, how much you don't want to be here, how much you hate wearing tennis shoes, and how you just want to go back home. Yes, because you can complain all you want, as long as you're actually doing something about it!

2. Focus on the minutes in front of you.

If you start thinking about how long its going to take you to accomplish your end goal, it can be frustrating because we are a culture of right now. Having to wait and work on yourself and your goals for a long period of time can be daunting, but focus on today, and the minutes before you much the way a recovering alcoholic is taught to do. What can you do now to keep going, to keep moving, to stay on track. Go find some inspirational pictures, go write out your angst in a journal, talk to a good friend who is supportive of you and your goals, commit to today and worry about tomorrow when it actually comes.

3. Write a letter to yourself

Write this letter long before the day your motivation will inevitably fail. Write out all the reasons you're going on your weight loss journey. Talk about the health reasons, the emotional and physical reasons, if God or religion is part of it for you, express why, give yourself the biggest motivational pep talk ever and remind yourself that again, you can do this. And when that day comes when you break, and you will, open the letter and know that even YOU never wanted YOU to give up!

4. Reward, reward, reward

Remember in school when your teacher would put up that chart on the board, and for every A or something you got, you'd get a little sticker. Yeah, that little kid that still likes and wants to be rewarded for their hard work, still exists in the adult version of you. One idea I heard of, and I thought was awesome and I did was to give my friends a bit of money each and instructed them to buy a weight loss reward gift for my weight loss goals. Mine was for every ten pounds lost. My friends bought the gifts, wrapped them up however they wanted, and wrote a message, or their congrats, or inspirational quotes and pictures. Those things gave me something to look forward to. I also enjoyed posting the pictures of me opening them and sharing my surprise, joy, and sometimes tears with the person or persons who'd given me their gifts and messages of love and support. Make up your own rewards and use them to keep you on track and wanting to do more today then you did yesterday. Make them things you obviously would really like to get or to do.

5. Write down every single accomplishment towards your weight loss goals

When you don't see the numbers you want on the scale, or when you snuck ate a whole pint of icecream, its easy to think of everything we've done as just one big failure because we made one mistake. The next thing, you self sabatage, and then start on the train to lack of motivationville. Keep a running list on the fridge of your accomplishments. I walked for 20 minutes today, I didn't eat that cupcake at lunch even though I really wanted to, I was able to keep up with my kid at the park today, I walked the dog for a full hour which I couldn't do before, I lifted half my body weight on the barbell today...if you start doubting yourself of what all you've done to that point, you can see the long list right there in front of you.

[WhiteSteve]

Nice take, this is an important part of fitness. One thing to add, for the people just getting started: when I first started lifting regularly, on my own and not mandated by a sports team, I struggled with the motivation like many do. But I remember some guy --I don't remember who, unfortunately-- but SOME guy, said to me "if you do something 21 days in a row it will pretty much become a habit." I don't know that the 21 day thing is a hard and fast rule, but the spirit of it is on point. I started going to the gym for almost 21 days in a row, just taking a necessary rest day in between here and there. But once I did that, I was hooked. It became a let down if I didn't go to the gym. Once you start seeing the results, that's all you need. You look at yourself in the mirror everyday and are faced with the choice of moving forward or moving backwards, and I hate moving backwards. Plus there's all the science-y stuff with hormones and whatnot, but my personal responsibility to myself is what really drives me. And I've fallen off before, plenty of times. You get hurt, or back then I'd have periods where I was too broke to re-up my gym membership, etc... but going back after a layoff was like riding a bike. You experience some soreness for a couple days, but the motivation came right back, and I feel like it's stuck in me forever.

Bottom line: every day there are a million reasons you can come up with why you can't go to the gym. But my motto is "make progress, not excuses." Almost everyone is capable of being in great shape, it makes me sad when people don't believe in themselves or convince themselves that they have some special circumstance that makes it impossible. You don't have to become a bodybuilder, but literally almost any able-bodied person can improve, you just have to want it for yourself and make changes to your whole overall lifestyle, which is a shock at first, but soon you wonder how you ever lived any other way.

[myTake Owner]

Beautifully said and I could not agree more with everything you've written. Four years ago I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that just drained the life out of me. I was sick all the time and it just killed everything in me that wanted to do anything in life. I just gave up on myself and my dreams and that was it. I just ate and ate and did nothing until I, no surprise, became obese. I was overweight once before in my life, but I went to the gym hardcore for a summer and that was it, I was back in shape, but I'd never ever been labeled obese before. Thankfully some things lined up in my life, got on a new health plan, new doctor, new set of meds, which made me feel basically 100% normal again, so then it was like, now what's my excuse for staying this way... nothing. I began training, and yeah, it sucked the first couple of weeks, but like you said, 21 days and you're hooked. I feel totally off my game when I don't workout.

[myTake Owner]

I don't even like taking rest days. Usually I'll just go for at least a walk if I'm too sore to do anything else from a hard workout. Nothing has taught me more about myself then having fallen so far, and given up nearly 4 years of my life that I can never get back. In my mind I know a lot of it, there was nothing I could have done about it, but coming out from under that to where I am now, I have never felt more alive. I mean people should count themselves lucky if there issue is not a medical one, but just a mental one. You have to fight yourself and not wanting to get better, to get to a place where this is just part of your routine, its normal, and you learn to feel good from doing good for yourself. Thanks for your comment.

[Anonymous]

I love your style. Specially number 5 of your list. It is so true about everything in life. Also totally agree with the reward thing.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you. That is such a nice compliment.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

Motivation goes when tired from other commitments ie demanding work or presser to find work, self study or evening classes, Tax forms , medical problems , bills , exams and expectations and demanding goals etc etc.
Staying and getting into great shape would be easy if we all had nothing else to worry about.
Eat healthy if you can nutrition make a big difference to energy levels and health.
Protein gives slow energy release especially casein proteins whey is faster release high protein foods generally have both.
I find a high protein diet helps keep sustained energy levels along with fruit and vedge trail mix, eggs, kale, fish, cheese.
Playing music helps a lot of people push themselves.
Some people hire personal trainers to motivate and advise them but that's an expensive option classes are a cheaper option a pushy friend with the same goal cheaper still.
I find regular short bursts of exercises take less motivation to do but still improve endurance though less than endurance exercises and your shape to a greater degree than endurance.

[Dan2287]

I also find mixing up your routine helps too. When I knew I'd be at the gym on the rowing machine or bike for an hour every day, some days I would talk myself out of it because it was getting boring. Now I find doing different exercises every day makes me not dread it as much, and I've shortened the length of time I do any one exercise.

And you are right, you need to keep track of your accomplishments and reward yourself. Once you begin seeing progress, you want to keep going back and do even more

[myTake Owner]

I could not agree with this more! I am a person who does well with a lot of change when it comes to exercise, so literally everyday via working out outside, youtube videos, going to the gym, exercise dvds, or creating my own workout... I'm doing something different. I have routines and stuff I like doing more than the rest, but just knowing it's not going to be the same run or the same dance class or the same weight lifting exercises, makes all the difference in my attitude.

[redeyemindtricks]

If you have substantial weight to lose -- say, more than 60lbs or so -- it's also important to realize what you are up against, because you are probably up against way, way more than you think you're up against.

I wrote out a pretty thorough explanation of it in the girl comments for this thread: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1892322-is-it-really-impossible-for-some-people-to-lose-weight

[myTake Owner]

I've been there, but you can't let that paralyze you into doing nothing. I mean for example, if you had sat me down day one of college and explained to me in minute detail what all I'd have to actually do to get my diploma including not just the time involved, but the money, and overall commitment to getting there, I might have thought, there is no way, but as with weight loss, the end goal is worth it, but you can't focus on 1 year from now, if you're on day one. Day one needs to be the focus. Aka #2. I agree, you are up against a lot... it goes far beyond just getting to the gym and eating right, but if you want change, you've got to commit to and do the work ahead, mentally, physically, emotionally.

[redeyemindtricks]

Oh yeah, that's exactly how I meant it. Not as a discouraging factor at all -- just as a "here's the shit you'll be up against, so, start getting ready for it NOW" factor.

Really, with any difficult situation, there's absolutely no such thing as too early to start preparing for it. I have 2 brothers in the Marines, and they constantly practice "pre-deployment exercises" on all sorts of random shit-hits-the-fan situations that they might face someday once deployed. Everything from simultaneous rescues in different parts of a hostile country, to landing a plane with a failed engine, to... anything.

The point is to get them to a place, mentally, where nothing really seems "new". That way they're well prepared for the vast majority of stuff they encounter in the field.

[myTake Owner]

But you can't really practice for weight loss. I mean buy the weights, watch others doing the weight machines, get some walking shoes, look up recipes for healthy eating, but none of that matters if you aren't actually doing that stuff yourself like people who buy the treadmill and use it as a clothes line unlike the Marine situation in which you are mentally and physically training your body and mind to react to stuff that can happen.

[redeyemindtricks]

Yeah, but, for people who lose 100+lbs, they absolutely HAVE to steel their minds for what's gna come, because, from what I've seen and been told, it's just incomprehensible. It's just beyond anything that normal people could ever experience.

I know a guy who's lost 115lbs and kept it off for more than fifteen years. He's been nonstop, mind-numbingly, RAVENOUSLY hungry, for more than 15 STRAIGHT YEARS.

I'm talking about a kind of hungry that normal people literally don't and can't even experience. The only reason I can even sort of understand, is that I've had hypoglycemic attacks from certain combinations of meds, and that hypoglycemic hunger might kinda sorta maybe approach what this guy describes.

I mean, he eats stuff and just gets MORE hungry, the way you or I would if we ate 1 tiny bite of a chocolate cookie -- it just whets his appetite. But with him it's like that even if he eats four thousand calories at a time.

I asked him what his "secrets" were, once, and he told (cont)

[redeyemindtricks]

... me two things:
#1, when he first started losing weight, he was still (at some level) able to eat until feeling some kind of satiation or fullness. When he still weighed in the low 300's. He told me that the single hardest thing he did, was accept the fact that he would NEVER feel that again, once he'd gotten below a certain weight.
I guess that's the Marine pre-deployment analogy, here. He purposely stopped short of that feeling, because he knew he was going to surpass a point where that would just totally no longer be a thing, at all... and he wanted to be ready for that.
Like, he just has to stop eating at what's basically a totally arbitrary stopping point, because his "I'm full" sensors are fried 4lyf. He said he would have failed miserably at that, had he not prepared for it mentally for 6 months or so in advance.

#2, he would literally rather DIE than fail at losing the weight. Sounds melodramatic, but I know this man, and he was dead serious. He'd kill himself if he (cont'd)

[redeyemindtricks]

... failed. And it's a good thing he was (and is) so hardcore about it, because that's the only possible attitude that could carry him through his daily struggles with all this.

[myTake Owner]

That is all very specific but as someone who has lost a lot of weight and who has friends who have done the same, every person's story is different. We can't go by just me, or your friend, or your story because these journey's are very personal and what works for you or them may not work for me. Don't get me wrong, it's hard as hell to do and for those lucky enough to not have to do it, they may never get how hard it really is, but hammering into someone's head over and over that it's going to be hard can be counter productive. This is why I keep saying keep the focus small, on today, on the moments you can control today. You meet your challenges and your hurdles when you come to them, but you've got to at least get past the first one, which is making an active choice to do something about your current situation for anybody going at it.

[redeyemindtricks]

Good luck! (:

[mr90skid]

Thanking of all the days, months, and maybe even years they add to they're life with each pound burn should do it too. Or, the opposite for those who need seek that harsh drill sergeant screaming like truth , how much they're losing in their current state.

[myTake Owner]

That's an excellent motivator.

[mr90skid]

*thinking
thanks

[Punkin45]

I need a drill dargeant

[Punkin45]

"drill sargeant"

[golani]

"2. Focus on the minutes in front of you."
no, no, no, no. i've been working out since i was 15, 4 times a week on average sometimes 5 and i can't wait to go to the gym on most days. whatever you're doing whether it be weight training, crossfit, cardio, plyometrics, whatever... you need to LEARN to love it and NOT focus on it ending lol its really not that bad. sometimes i even need to force myself to leave the gym, because working out too much can be also counter-productive.

[myTake Owner]

Oh, I get that, I feel the same way now, but when you are newer to exercise or you've never done any real exercise or long term program before, finding that love and motivation can take time. It can take time and trial and error before each person finds a sport, or a program, or exercises that they DO actually like and that don't feel like a chore.

[apple24]

The way I see it time will pass. It will. You know it and it waits for no-one. So why not do little things that will make everyone surprises!

[Anonymous]

The moment you go to the gym with the reward, reward mentality your going to fail.

[Sweetart2]

I love the reward idea!

[Sweetart2]

But I find that cardio is addicting. I want to get on the treadmill and just not stop.

[Noxifer626]

Oh, fitness people. You crack me up.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Great take!

[myTake Owner]

Thank you!