Imagine Your Girlfriend as Your Wife…Is She the One?

girlfriend wife No matter if you’re 18 or 40, every time you begin dating someone, you are asked, “Do you think she’s ‘the one’?” At first, you may laugh it off and tell everyone to pump the brakes because you just started dating, but then, it does become something that crosses your mind… or does it? What happens when you imagine your girlfriend as your wife? What do you see?

If I don’t know from the start, does it mean she’s not “The One”?!

First off, you can blame Disney and every romantic movie ever made for this pressure of feeling that you have to know whether or not you will marry someone from the moment you say, “Hello”. Love at first sight, knowing instantly someone found “the one”, blah, blah, blah. Not every love story is as dramatic or romantic as Pretty Woman, The Notebook or whatever favorite movie your girlfriend watches (and quotes) over and over again. If people feel they knew right away when they met their future spouse, kudos to them! However, don’t feel that you need to break up with your girlfriend if you didn’t feel that way right from the get-go. Simply because you don’t know if you want to marry her by the time the waitress asks you if you want dessert or the check, it doesn’t mean you won’t fall madly in love with her and marry her someday.

One person, every day, for the rest of your life

How do I respond to people that ask me if I’m going to marry her?

Not only do men get asked if they will marry their girlfriends, but women get asked the same question about their boyfriends. For both genders, this question is extremely uncomfortable.If you know you’re going to marry her, then feel free to express that (make sure she’s on the same page first before you start tweeting it). If you aren’t quite sure, then politely respond, “I am extremely happy with my girlfriend and I’m looking forward to whatever the future holds for us”. If the word “future” makes you cringe or gives you hives, you can reply with “I am incredibly happy with my girlfriend and I’m enjoying the moment we’re in right now. What’s meant to be will be.“ If these responses still don’t sit well with you, then laugh it off and divert the conversation to something else.

How do I find out if she sees herself marrying me?

If things are going well, you don’t have to push anything; let the relationship take its course naturally. If she brings up the topic of marriage and it’s something you’re ready to discuss, then have that conversation. If you feel she’s “the one” and are curious to find out how she feels, know that you don’t have to ask her in a straightforward fashion (might scare her) to get a better idea of where she stands. girlfriend wife When it’s relevant, make comments about the future and include her. For example, if she mentions that she can’t wait to have kids, playfully state that “our kids better have my looks and your brains…”. See how she responds to similar statements and then, you can take it from there.

Should I be worried if I don’t consider marriage with her?

You need to reevaluate your relationship if you don’t consider a future with your girlfriend after let’s say, a year. Love takes time as does getting to know someone. However, if after a year, you still have no desire to marry her, you should look within yourself for the reason. If you simply don’t see yourself marrying HER, then you need to do both of you a favor and break it off. There’s no point in continuing a relationship, investing time, emotion and money if it will never go anywhere; it’s not fair to either of you.

If after a year, you still don’t know if she’s the one, you need to figure out if it’s HER or YOU. Maybe you’re simply not ready for marriage yet with anyone. You may just be scared of forever… one person, every day, for the rest of your life (yikes! The fear is understandable). Make sure marriage is something you want. If you discover it’s not, then you need to express that to your girlfriend.

Make sure marriage is something you want.

If marriage is something you want with your girlfriend, but you aren’t ready just yet, make sure you communicate that to her. If she learns of your intentions as well as the reasons why you two aren’t getting married yet, she’ll understand why you two have to wait. If she doesn’t and continues to pressure you, that’s a whole other dragon to slay.

If you can imagine your girlfriend as your wife, whether it’s marrying her tomorrow or in a couple of years, you should be incredibly happy that you found the type of love people search for most of their lives. If you can’t imagine your girlfriend as your wife at this very moment, don’t panic just yet. If you don’t ever see your girlfriend as your wife, it’s wise to end it before you both get more deeply attached.

Go ahead, imagine your girlfriend right now… what do you see?


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What Guys Said 13

  • One evening I asked my ex (who had already cheated on me but I had forgiven her) "How do you think you'll be at 40?" She said -with a serious face- "I will be a very classy lady."
    That evening I knew we wouldn't age together. And indeed, she cheated again and I pardoned again and helped her out of a terrible mess.
    Then, 6 months later she met a guy, etc, etc, got pregnant and I let her go, bought a present for their marriage.
    End of story.

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  • NEVER HAD A GF AND NEVER GONNA MARRY!

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  • I agree with @RedRain, a year is not necessarily a good time to determine whether you want to marry a person or not.

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  • Damn... Never really thought about what I'd want in the future as far as me and her are concerned.

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  • At what point are you considered a sexaholic?

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    • Well, humans are a pretty frisky species as it is, and within marriage ANY amount of sex is perfectly fine (but getting married BECAUSE OF sex is always a bad idea), so it's hard to say.

  • i have a gf?

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  • Nice article, it's sad to see many people loosing hope on marriage nowadays

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  • I can... she is Smokin' okin'!

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  • I see a lot of depressing comments. It works if its for the right reason you don't need 40k on a wedding put it on a house or in saving.

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  • I would marry my girl tomorrow if we were finished college i purchased the stone and will let her decide on the ring. I love her because she was with me during a tough medical situation and stayed strong and she reminds me of my grandmother only thing is she can't cook.

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  • Meh I'd rather not give someone the legal keys to take my home, savings and income from me if she decides on a whim that she doesn't want to be married anymore

    then, of course, there's being a slave with no rights or voice for 18 years if she gets pregnant

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    • If you don't want to share your money with her, you can always sign a pre-nup.

  • When I stop and think about my girlfriend what I see is a ravishing, fun, caring, loving, loyal, helpful young lady with a wonderful personality. she is someone I can be and am myself around. Someone I love, care about, I am there for through the good and bad, some who I enjoy being around etc. Do I see myself marrying her? Yes I do.

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  • This article is a bunch of inane drivel. Marriage a legally enforced contract officiated by the state. In almost all cases it entitles women to more property than they previously owned, which is why it's such a big deal for women. You can have a lifelong relationship with someone without signing a contract. Guys, don't get married.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I happen to agree with @RedRain and @leader. Some couples need years to decide they want to get married.

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  • I don't completely agree with "if after a year, you still have no desire to marry her, you should look within yourself for the reason." I mean, it's ok if you want to look for the reason, but it takes (much) more than a year for some people to want to get married. So I wouldn't put a year as a deadline for this.

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    • Well, yes, it's not exactly a year for everybody, but I think by then you kind of have an idea of what you want with your SO

  • Isn't it human to think youl be spending the rest of your life with a person if your in love? Everyone thinks that at a stage, even if you're realy drunk having a one night stand. You promise all kinds of things.. untill you get sober! I guess you think that if your in a relationship untill you get a reason not to want to spend the rest of your life with that person and move on untill you find the next possible wife/ husband.

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  • This is really good

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  • Thanks for sharing this with us. What you've said was beautiful.

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  • Notice how guys don't respond to any of such columns... :/
    No matter how beautifully written they are!

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  • It takes time to even think that someone is "the one", and even after that is more time. Take care of each other with a stomach virus, with the death of a loved one, sit together in the same room and each person read, draw, write, play on the phone/computer with no verbal communication for two hours and see how that goes, be around each others friends & family to celebrate holidays then maybe

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