I was never physically attracted to him from the beginning. I liked him for his personality. I have no idea how we ended up getting married. I just fooled myself into thinking that looks didn't matter, and I told myself that I was being shallow to think that they did. I get jealous and saddened when I see girls with handsome boyfriends or husbands.. I'm more attractive than than most women my age. I feel like I "deserve" a good looking man. Kind of feel resentful towards my husband. I know he has no control over the way he looks, but I don't feel any physical attraction towards him. It's only now that I realize just how important physical and sexual attraction is - it's literally the glue that holds a relationship together.. I mean, if I'm not sexually attracted to him , if he doesn't make my heart beat faster or give me butterflies, what's the point of putting up with the little day-to-day annoyances?
Is divorce the only answer? Having said this.. He is a great guy of amazing character - truly reliable, honest, hard-working, ambitious, driven, successful, loving, caring, selfless even. He puts me above all else. Don't think I'll be able to find another man with the same qualities
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, I noticed you never said the word 'love' anywhere. I don't know what that means, I just noticed this. "It's only now that I realize just how important physical and sexual attraction is - it's literally the glue that holds a relationship together," if I accepted what you said, which I don't, I don't think I would ever want to be in a relationship if it just boils down to that.
But here's the thing, I think your jealousy and you thinking of what others have and you don't has directed you into thinking that your marriage has no substance and little meaning. Indirectly and ultimately, you're saying you husband isn't good enough for you and you feel you deserving a 'good-looking' man is more valuable that what he has already given to you. What further proves this is that you even pointed out the question of "if I'm not sexually attracted to him , if he doesn't make my heart beat faster or give me butterflies, what's the point of putting up with the little day-to-day annoyances?" not even considering the fact of what you husband offers already should be reason enough to put up with the 'little day-to-day annoyances'. I am not judging you by the way, I am just inferring.
To actually help you, you can try a few things: Divorce and look for someone you 'deserve', stay in a marriage you don't deem good-enough for you, seeking marriage counseling (this website doesn't cut it... -_-) or try to make your husband appear more attractive to you (if you can successfully do that). I really hope this helps and I hope you do not resort to cheating behind his back. You will destroy him if you do that and he finds out. Probably, the thought of hurting him anyway should be reason enough to not cheat on him.1