if yes how do I do it? for the past three months I have noticed a change in her behavior . like she is not the same as she used be while having sex. I work evening shift and come home at midnight. I try to call her during my break but her phone is either busy or switched off. we used to go out for dinner on my off days but now she simply refuse saying she is not in mood. should I ask her what's going on or just keep an eye on her? how do I do it? because of this I m getting sleepless nights and stress.
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At first, just talk to her about it point blank, what her behavior seems to indicate, and mention how the worry is affecting. If she does say something like 'why can't you trust me', it's valid to say that if you acted the way she acted, she would have suspected something too. Also, she has been distant to you for the past three months and not sharing so you don't know what has changed with her anymore. It's obvious that you do want to talk to her since you call on your breaks (that's really sweet of you by the way. that's great)
Although it sounds like cheating to me, there is a slim chance that she's angry about something. Does she work too and if so, do you guys do your fair share of housework? Do you guys have kids and have you not been helping out with some of the housework or spending quality time with them?
However, if she doesn't open up or her reasons don't sound valid, then yes, pay more attention when you're there. Have you noticed her texting or talking on the phone more? Ask to get to know her friends because you still want to know her/ what's going on with her. Give a short, concise summary of your day before ask her where she went throughout the days. Try asking who she went with. (So you only hung out with the girls today?) If she doesn't share enough, I would ask if she had any guy friends. Pay attention to her reactions. Tell her you do want to be part of her life, even if it means getting the approval of all her friends. It's a little strange to not meet / know your spouse's friends these days. If she doesn't open up, then I think it's time to see if she's being unfaithful. Who wants to catch STI's and STD's?
What type of sites are on the history of the computer? I'm NOT saying break into her accounts. Just be aware if she has been looking for someone by looking at the sites.
If you reached the point where you're 50% sure that she's cheating. Go ahead and look for proof. You already tried being open about your concerns. She refused to fix them or reveal them, which points to cowardly infidelity. It's time to see if your marriage is truly a marriage. Look through her phone and come home early unexpectedly. Other people have advice on this part.