Guys, (and girls) , what do you consider a modest girl to be?

[Imasmileygirl]

Modest as in looks and dresses like a lady without being slutty and trying to get guys sexually but is still modern. What are your thoughts when you can see a little cleavage on a girl, shorts, ect. What would you like the girl you would marry to dress like?

The reason I am asking is because I grew up really conservative. No pants, skirts down to ankles ,ect. Freaky right? lol Now that I am out on my own I have been obviously changing that. I wear pants, shorts, and my dresses can be above my knees but not slutty as in really close to the butt , etc and I wear bathing suits, ect. Well my current boyfriend doesn't really like the fact that I am changing. We have fought over bathing suits to where he said he doesn't like me wearing them unless he is there because of other guys, he doesn't like any skirts or shorts above the knees, ect. Not that that is necessarily wrong but... he says I am changing and doesn't completely like it and that he is just trying to keep me pure and innocent but of course it is my decision what I want to wear... but yet even though its my decision and he says he will love me, there is always an issue these last few months. It's kind of breaking my heart.. so I want to see what guys really think of modesty.

[Sekrett]

I don't like modest girls, modest has religious connotations anyway. Guys can dress anyway they want but girls should be controlled. Look how modesty is seen in Bible Belt in America vs Saudi Arabia. Modesty means something is wrong with sexuality, something is wrong with breasts, nudity, its EVE's fault Adam is sinless.

Modesty from what you described is used by girls to make themselves feel superior for whatever reason, but acting or dressing certain way they are Ladies, and hence somehow elevated themselves from other girls. Stiffening your sexuality to portray yourself in a certain way to be thought of as a lady, hence being more admired by certain aspects of society.

Modest girl good chance will have conservative view of religion and culture. Dress herself in a way she thinks is modest and conforms to what is considered to be modest. Hence many modest girls would consider themselves to better than other girls as they have conformed to what it means to be a Lady. Will never be sexually free, there will always be something completely preventing her to accept her sexuality, as it is simply part of being a Lady. Some modest girls try to look down on other girls who don't conform to their modesty simply due to jealousy.

I have absolutely no interest in modest girls, its just a facade. Nothing wrong with dressing sexy, absolutely nothing wrong with wearing bikinis or short skirts. If guys can wear shorts with no T-shirt on, and yet not call immodest why is it a girl shows a little skin she is immodest?

It comes with the territory. The reason the concept of modesty exists to begin with is to control women, control their sexuality. With that they can restrict other aspects. It comes from religion, clergy being mostly men. Hence your Boyfriend not being very amused you not conforming to what is considered to be modest in those parts. Yet these same people have no problem ogling women who don't conform to their views of being modest.

My advise be the person you want to be, not let others dictate who you should or should not be. You do what you feel comfortable with and live you life.

[Imasmileygirl]

I totally understand what you mean regarding religion and judging. I actually left my church because the older I got the more I realized that that is what that one particular place was doing. Judging others who weren't as "good" as them. I definitely didn't and don't agree with that. I think to each their own. Can I ask you though when you think of modesty, what image passes through your mind and then if you had to choose a girls style that you like on a girl, what is that? Thank you! :D

[Sekrett]

Dressed conservatively didn't want to say dressed like a nun ha ha xD

Well there are so many styles that look good, depends on if she looks good in it.

I'm a leg man so I love when girls wear sexy skirts or dress with sexy shoes :)

[Anonymous]

I prefer the modest girls. However, by the way you are describing it, I think what you're doing now is modest. It seems like most girls have their boobs hanging out whenever possible and the first warm day of the year, they have shorts or skirts up to their ass. I, for one, am glad you want to dress like a lady and not a skank like most other girls.

He grew up with the girls in his family dressing very conservatively and/or he might fear even further change down the road and is trying to nip it in the bud before it gets that far. That latter is not that unreasonable of a thought even though he probably shouldn't voice it. It seems that even the originally good girls go down that road at some point. I wouldn't be surprised if you eventually did too to be completely honest.

[Imasmileygirl]

I'ts okay. YOu have the right to be honest and its happened so many times then why not me right? He just thinks anything above the knees is wrong and said I'm wearing too short of stuff, ect. Would you mind showing me pictures or telling me a name of a celebrity or something that I can look at to see what you personally consider modest but really like a girl wearing?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think that's really necessary. From what you've said so far, I think the way you are dressing now is great. It's modest, but not overly so where you're hiding every part of your body.

I have to say that I find some of the other answers on here amusing though. Everything is to keep women down. As if your boyfriend is working at Chippendale's while he's preferring that you were long skirts or whatever. lol

[Imasmileygirl]

The answers mainly are circulated with religion and how it holds women back and sometimes forces them into a mold that doesn't allow them to be themselves and who they truly are. I agree with the answers to a degree and then in some parts not. They jsut heard religion and put my boyfriend and I into the religion mold and that he is forcing me to be someone I'm not. I totally understand their view in that case. I guess I see both sides.

[Opinion Owner]

I only see it as him holding you down if he's being hypocritical about it. If not, it's not even a big deal.

[Anonymous]

The problem with really conservative upbringings is they are way too restrictive.I felt like there was so much pressure and it was almost like being in a prison.also really out of touch with today!

Why are you forcing me to dress like a 40 something married woman when I'm like 19?, for what? guys my age do not want to marry and being this young I don't either. Extra modesty is just a way to control a womans sexuality because they want to control the power. And that way of thinking often attracts controlling guys

[Imasmileygirl]

hehe I know what you mean! I believe in my term of modesty but that doesn't mean it matches up with theirs you know. It was skirts down to ankles, no makeup, nail polish or jewelry. Mainly they wanted skirts down to ankles that were like this ugly floral print and then blazers that matched the skirts. lol NO GO! NO thank YOU! hehe I understand modesty and not being a slut but then there is a line drawn on the other side as well to how outdated it is and looking your age.

[unighted]

I would say dress whatever you want, he is obviously not going to like it but in the end it is your decision (just like you said) everybody changes in some way and its not like you are making a really big chance, you still dress modestly

[Imasmileygirl]

Thank you! I told him that and he goes that its a matter of respect and that I should respect what he asks in certain cases adn that he's not trying to bring harm to me but more or protection. I understand that and appreciate it but at the same time I don't agree because I'm not wearing slutty clothes. It's just a matter of opinion on his take vrs my take of what "modesty" is. Its hard to know if I should respect that and accept it or say " screw that! and do it my way. BLEH! hehe

[lauramor]

Your boyfriend shouldn't control you that much, you don't tell him how to wear so he should give that respect back

[kenttay23]

well "Self Discipline" are the key words here , so long as my girlfriend behaves in proper manner , it doesn't matter whether she is wearing skirts that is to her thigh levels or knee levels.

if she wear pants too often , I would just tell her that I would like to see her wear skirts more often and I will not force her if she doesn't want to.

This is the 21st century everyone has their basic rights.