If you choose texting as your preferred method of contact, there are rules that you have to play by. I know, I know...many of you would love to live in a world where there are no inhibitions, but the truth of it is, that is an unrealistic view provided that we live in a world filled with billions of people. You have to find a safe boundary for texting, or else you're risking losing that person altogether. I know for one, I've been scared off by those who seem way more into me than I am to them. Texts hold way more power than we give them credit for. The messages that you send has the ability to reel someone into the field, or have them put on their track shoes and run away! There are ways to make sure, that you aren't the source of scaring someone away through text message.
Rule 1: Allow the person to miss you.
If you're constantly the initiator of text, it's possible you can cause this person to grow tired of you. Imagine, eating the same meal every single day! The first few times the food is delicious, but then after sometime it begins to taste bland. What happens at that point? You want to throw it out! You no longer have interest in consuming the same meal over and over again.
This is a very important rule.
It's okay to initiate text the first few times, but then there has to come a point where you pull back. Allow this person to have you on their mind. If someone always texts me first, how can I possibly ever miss them if I always know what they're up to? If I haven't heard from this person in a few days, I'm going to think, "I wonder what this person is up to, let me send them a text." However, if this person is always texting me first, I'll never have that thought. In fact, I may even grow tired of them, or even take longer to respond to their messages. They are making themselves way too available.
Rule 2: Appear busy.
Don't always answer right away, in fact let thirty minutes to a few hours pass by. Appear to have a life. If you're always available at the convenience of someone else this looks as if you have nothing else going on for you. So, allow some "mystery" of why you happen to not always answer right away.
When they do reply to your texts, it's okay to keep the conversation going without disappearing.
Now, they most certainly have your attention and they know it.
Please keep in mind not to do this extremely often or else the person may think you lack interest in them.
Rule 3: Don't bombard the person with texts.
Give the person the opportunity to text you back, just because they didn't answer right away does not mean you have to send message after message. Calm down, no one died. This isn't an emergency. Playing it cool, and not desperate always comes off as sexy.
Rule 4: Don't be so lovey dovey!
This only gets a pass when you're a couple with the person, or if you are married. If you're just getting to know someone and barely even know them well, don't send messages saying, "I love you", "You're the one for me.", "I've been thinking about you non-stop today." This can feel like way too much, way too soon.
Remember that plate of food I was talking about? When someone puts too much on my plate, I definitely want to scrape some of it off. In fact, having way too much way too soon may even ruin my appetite. I may not even want the plate at all. Don't let that happen to you! Whatever feelings of infatuation that you may have, keep it to yourself. Someone that is calm, cool, and collected always gets a pass!
Rule 5: Use clear language.
One of the joys of reading text messages, is having the ability to understand them. If you're a person using constant abbreviations, internet slang, improper word usage, or you find yourself making constant errors, you may want to rethink your preferred method of contact. Try a phone call instead. Let the person know, calling is the best way to keep contact with you.
If you play all of your cards right, you may have success with the person of your interest. Even if you did everything possible in your power to not become an "annoying texter", and the person of interest still seems as if they aren't into you, then place your time and effort into someone else. Investing your time in someone who clearly has no interest in you, allows yourself to come across as desperate! As stated previously, that is grounds for coming across as annoying.
Don't miss the point!