I have been a big girl all my life and I have never been confident but now that is changing slowly but surely. I have been teased and bullied for my weight multiple times in school.
It got to the point where I wanted to commit suicide because I believed what everyone told me, I felt worthless and unwanted.
I know I am FAT!! I don't need anyone to tell me that...trust me I don't sugar coat it for myself I know the facts, I know what I look like and I know what I'm considered to society. I always wanted to be that girl that fit in with everyone else, the girl that the boys liked in school, the girl that got picked first for things not last, the girl that was pretty and confident.
I used to hide behind clothing thinking if I wore things that were loose you wouldn't be able to see all of me...hoodies were my security blanket they made me feel safe, they made me feel invisible to the world. I didn't like being invisible because I love meeting new people and making new friends but I would way rather be invisible than to be bullied.
Years passed and I would see these plus size girls be so confident and just so care free and I told myself that's what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wanted to be a plus size model because then I would be like all the other beautiful plus size women that loved themselves for who they were not what they looked like. Now being a little older I understand that clothing doesn't protect you it actually hurts you if you try to use it to hide yourself. I now hate wearing hoodies or jackets...I love showing myself off I wear dresses, skirts, strapless shirts, and heels. It took me a long time to figure out how I could love myself for who I am and I'm no where near finished but I have had a great start and look forward to working on it more everyday.
I no longer care if people don't like the way I look because damnit if I feel sexy I'm gonna feel fucking sexy and ain't nobody gonna ruin that for me. Recently I just took my body confidence to the next level, I bought a fatkini which my boyfriend helped pick out (I am wearing it in the picture). I was terrified because I was scared of what people were gonna say when I went out in public with this on but I got over my fear. I wore it out several times and haven't had one person say anything mean to me...yes, I am sure people thought some things and stared but that's okay because I love my bathing suit and I feel good in it. It is hard to be confident when we live in a society like the one we live in today but if I can do it I know anyone can it just takes a little effort and some support.