Do You Think "Respect your elders" "Age =wisdom" is complete bullshit?

[sparkly-crystal]

I think respect should be earned. Sure, most elderly are nice people, from my experience, but if an elder is a piece of fucking shit, I'm not giving him respect just because he's an elder. Earn your respect!!!
I think I'm more knowledgeable than a lot of people you are wayyy older than me but they make ageist remarks when I tell them they are wrong. Being older shouldn't make a person inherently more worthy of respect.

[cavmanier]

That's extremely common at your age for you perception to be that you are very knowledgeable and your way of thinking is correct. In ten or twenty years if you think about yourself at your age, you will almost certainly feel differently. I'm almost positive you would chuckle at the idea of you being knowledgeable compared to how much you will grow. I'm sorry to act condescending, but that's the truth. You're going to be a different person with pretty dramatically different opinions. Your brain alone will be growing for about ten more years. You probably think I'm wrong; that's okay. You'll see lol.

I don't think an older person insulting you is good. I do like the idea of young people respecting elders though. Opportunities for feeling insulting is pretty often with a lot of people. The main reason I like the idea of respecting elders is because young people tend to lack the wisdom to tolerate the old person (or people in general) potentially offending them. If they were to react with their raw feelings, younger people are more likely to not consider the other person, and instead their emotions would reflect their more self-centered perspective. Older people are definitely not perfect, but most people learn more patience and empathy with age. So think think telling kids to respect their elders is a way of trying to guide the kid despite what the kids natural emotions are (just like you've alluded to here). Most likely your opinion will change with age though. You will probably be more understanding about a person not treating you well with age, which will lead to you being less likely to react to them negatively.

[MrAtticusLebowski]

Age doesn't necessarily equal wisdom. I mean... stupid people get old to right?

[vonasaurus]

to a point, i both agree and disagree.

"respect your elders"~ just because someone is older does not mean that they automatically command respect and, in my experience, they must earn it like everyone else.

however...

all things being civil and equal, you should treat everyone with respect, regardless of age. but wait, there's more:

"with age comes wisdom"~ in most cases, this is true. experience is the best teacher and, as people learn, they grow and mature; they adapt to situations and the world they live in, which brings us back to the previous statement.

"respect your elders"~ it's entirely possible to respect someone's experience or perspective, without respecting the person (who may very well be a piece of shit).

that said, what you understand at 17 as a person "being a piece of shit" may shift over time. and, perhaps, when you're 27, you'll have a better understanding of the world and human nature, and you'll know why that person may have done things as they did.

that's not to say that age always comes with wisdom. in my case, it has; but, for many, age often comes alone. lol.

-von

[bbch25]

Completely and totally. I go so far as to say the same about family. I don't just respect you because you have the "same blood" as me. You earn it, you treat me like your family and I treat you the same.

Wisdom comes with experience and yes most people get hat with age, but I had done more with my life by the age of 17 than I know in most people that are my elders. I knew more about the world than they did, I understood humans and emotions and life etc. I could logically argue and present a debate since I was like 5. I am weird too. But for me, I don't see many old people who know equal amounts I do of the world, or the ability to think logically. So I don't consider them "wise".

As for respect I am the same, just because you're older doesn't mean you're someone earning of it. You still have to be nice to me. You can't cut in front of me at a line and then get angry at me if I say excuse me or roll my eyes because of your rudeness (as one example).

[EllieLexis513]

Only to a point. I think if you're a kid or a teenager, then yes, that respect just should come automatically because you don't know enough to be a disrespectful twit.

However, when you're an adult, maybe around your 20's, I think you have learned enough about life and the world to start questioning things and your elders. I mean, clearly you don't respect a 70 year old drug addict who goes through a bottle a vodka a day, regardless of how old you are, but for the most part, I think young people should respect people.

[OlderAndWiser]

I think you should approach elders with the assumption that they are entitled to respect and that they have wisdom, unless and until they prove otherwise.

[the_rake]

read my post, see what you think...

[the_rake]

some older people are very intelligent, some older people are not so intelligent.

same principle applies to younger guys.

as for experience, sure generally speaking, they have more experience of life but that experience does not necessarily apply to me. just because somebody was a marine pilot, it does not mean that their expertise is going to be useful for me personally, so why should I have to listen to them go on and on?

same deal for relationships: older generations were alive in a time period when there was no online dating, a guy courted a girl for 6 months and then they got engaged, there were very few people that were promiscuous, the list goes on.

nowadays, dating is a much seedier and raunchier affair, men's minds have been corrupted by internet pornography, everythings a competition where they feel inadequate if they are not having sex as much as their peers, men use PUA and other tactics that don't work because they have nothing else to go on, they go night clubbing to try and hook up with random bitchy girls and all the time, women are finding subtle ways to manipulate men's lust for sex.

older generations are in no way in tune with the contemporary dating scene; there's no way they could possibly help with something as dark and twisted the way things are nowadays.

[OlderAndWiser]

I respectfully disagree. The most significant difference in dating today is that younger people are the digitized generation. You tell someone you like them in a text. You ask for a "hang out" in a text. You are afraid to say that you are dating - I don't know why - until you are almost engaged, and then you call it "official," as if your relationship has been registered at the courthouse. If you break up, you do it - of course - in a text. Soon, you will be getting married via Skype or FaceTime. These are generalizations that don't apply to all young people, of course.

Every generation thinks that they are radically different than the preceding generation because of the superficial trappings of their lives, but human nature has not changed since Adam and Eve. Young people reach puberty and become ruled by their hormones. They must deal with shyness, rejection, public acceptance of their coming of age, and learning that the opposite sex is quite a different species!

[OlderAndWiser]

Guys still initiate the chase and girls anxiously await the one who they have eyed. When you finally have a date, the girl will spend inordinate amounts of time worrying about what to wear and how to do her hair. Guys will try to look not too eager when they are really quite excited about the new girl. Eventually, they must deal with expectations and limits about sexual behaviors. They must confront jealousy. Sometimes, they must accept that their partner is not as interested in them as they are in their partner. Sometimes, they will learn that their partner has not been faithful and they feel devastated by that news.

I don't think human nature has changed that much. . . including your belief that your generation is so very different. My generation had the same belief.

[OlderAndWiser]

Whether someone has had experience as a pilot, attorney, electrician, etc. is irrelevant. What is important is that they have had experience observing human interactions - their own and those which surround them. If they have some intelligence, they begin to see patterns in behavior, patterns in the way people respond to situations, and they begin to have some ability to understand and to predict the behavior of others.

No, it is not experience with VFR or aircraft maintenance rules which makes older people wiser, and not all older people are wiser. But it does take some years of being beat up by the vagaries of our existence before you gain some competence in navigating life. . . and then you are older and wiser.

[the_rake]

@OlderAndWiser

This is a very interesting exchange, I thank you for taking the time to reply.

First, I will point out that there is not much difference between what you mention about telling someone you like them through text versus courting them through online dating. Both are digitalised. I must also disagree that this is the only significant difference, maybe you have not seen a lot of online pornography or listened in detail to a lot of the lyrics that rappers of my generation 'spit' or maybe you have. If you have not, I don't recommend you do: most of it is unimaginable filfth, and I am not just talking about seeing a pair of breasts. I'm talking about women being made to perform extremely degrading sex acts in front of camera, some of the worst kinds of fetishes imaginable and what's more, they are all legal. I'm sure there were people doing this stuff in your day and since the beginning of human sexuality but today, young people are being exposed...

[the_rake]

[PT2]

... to this stuff on the internet (sometimes accidentally), by their friends, in musical lyrics, the list goes on. It really is quite dreadful. Worse still, this is what men expect now in their partners. Look at some of the questions by teenagers on this website:

"My boyfriend wants to try anal sex? How do I say 'no' to him?"

"I want to ejaculate on my girlfriend's face... how do I get her to oblige?"

It's disgraceful. And again, yes it's quite possible that older generations have experience with this kind of stuff as well but it was not constantly in their face since they were teenagers. Men are less aroused by average women with average bodies because of what they are routinely being exposed to by the media, they can't get erections and they want to 'experiment' and some women have realised they can find ways to exploit this weakness (gold diggers).

By no means is dating for the naive in this world, people are getting married later in life and...

[the_rake]

[PT3]

... divorce rates have sky rocketed.

I notice a tendency in your posts to assume that human nature is the same, even if people are being exposed to different social influences. But if we analyse this belief a little more thoroughly, we see that it's only partially true because human nature is not just influenced by biology: people are socialised to behave in a certain way as well. That's why in some cultures people eat with their hands, in some cultures, people don't lose their virginity until their mid-twenties and they stay with the same partner for life, in some cultures, people read from right to left, not left to right, in some cultures people are deeply religious, etc., etc. Some of these differences are small, trivial things, but some of them reflect huge differences in moral values.

...

[the_rake]

[PT 4]

...

Finally, I think there is more than a grain of truth when you point out that the crucial experience older generations have is realising human patterns. But we realise that these patterns do change with cultural differences. For example, in strict Islamic societies where people are not allowed to drink alcohol, look at pornography or dress inappropriately, there is going to be a profound difference to Western societies where we may do all of those things. There is also going to be a marked difference in the way people behave now, compared to earlier generations where it was deeply frowned upon for a woman to use contraception or have sex before marriage. So the patterns you have observed will have arisen from very different stimuli.

I also want to point out that actually, more mechanical forms of experience outside of human interaction are just as valid in many ways.

...

[the_rake]

[PT 5]

...

For example, a WWI pilot will have seen the horror's of war, learned the beauty of operating an engine, seen many foreign lands, quite simply he will have experienced many things that I will not have done. It's just that, if I am unlikely to ever experience those things myself then it is not strictly speaking useful. Interesting, sure. Knowing about it might help me grow as a person, in fact. But I don't think that kind of insight would ever be directly useful and there's many other ways I could grow as a person (e. g. read literature, get a new and exciting job, travel the world, meet a beautiful women - the list goes on).

Anyway, I just want to conclude this post by saying I don't entirely disagree, and I think your insight is very relevant and valid all the same. These are just general details I mention that could be looked at from a very different perspective.

[GracefulCharm]

There is a difference between respect and obedience. You can respect someone's life experiences but not obey their advice. Time's change, social environments your elders grew up in may not be the exact same as yours.

Most likely in your elders time, they would spend more time roaming the streets with their friends and hanging out. In today's age, people don't really just hang out anymore, it's actually frowned upon and considered delinquent now. We have social media technology and social-programs where we are encouraged to socialize instead.

Like asking your grandmother about boy issues when that boy is texting you may not be a great help, your grandma used to get phone calls or visits from boys, that's a major difference.

People when sending messages can conceal their true feelings a lot better than a phone call or personal visit. You can't read their tone of voice or read their body language. Also delays in messages can be mistaken as lack of interest of that person may just be busy.

If you ask your grandma for input on how the boy feels. She couldn't be as much help to you as someone from this generation who is aware of these issues with text messages.

[Miezko]

Should respect be given or should it be earned? This question is particularly interesting when elders are concerned. Sure, some are wise old sages, but others, well, they're more like angry and cranky. But, if respect, whether it's for an elder, a peer, or a minor, is never given than it can't be earned.
Wisdom comes with age, it's a common saying, but how much truth to it is there? Well, first what is wisdom, well dictionary. com defines it as “knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight."[1] Well, according to the Seattle Longitude Study people do get smarter add they age.[2] Which makes sense, if people learn something every day in two weeks they should know more, right. And according to a University of California study “although the brain slows down with age, this simply helps older men and women develop greater insight. The reason for this is that, unlike the young, the elderly's brains are not ruled by the chemicals that fuel emotion and impulse. So their slower responses really are more thoughtful and 'wiser'."[3]
Wise or not though, some of our elders are still bigots and just down right rude, but if respect shouldn't be given it should be earned we'd have no reason to respect them and in turn they'd have no reason to respect us. In the end no one would respect anyone. But if respect is given freely, well than, they'd have a reason to respect us.
Ultimately, when considering whether to give respect or not, we should remember that people respect those who give respect.

[SomeGuy37]

The Way I believe, says that all Elders have sacred wisdom, though they don't always express it, to you, in ways that make sense at a young age.
Things change, with time, and if you ask about simple, stupid things like iPhones or computers, they seem like idiots! That is not the intent of the idea.
Through living, experiencing, mistakes, learning, and growing, we become 'Elders' with some 'Wisdom' that is our life's experience. That might help some, but not others.
My father knew a lot of things, wise ways, but many didn't fit with my life. However, since he passed, I still find myself saying things he said, as they have meaning, and some are relevant to me, now!
Respect is earned, I agree, but there is an inherent RESPECT, that is DESERVED to those that have lived to be old.
Even if they are senile, or make no sense, most of the time, they are still 'Elders' and deserve your respect and honor!

[19magic]

I donno I get it with sayings but my Nan always acts high and mighty. She got money and instead of being sensible which I would have been at 12/13 she managed to spend 10+ grand and have literally nothing to show for it. Apart from some fancy crystals and within two years it was all gone and she was a grand or so in debt again. Another instance is when I say you shouldn't give them sweets they haven't had dinner and they've just been naughty (5/6 yo siblings) and she said I've had three kids I know what I'm doing. And stuff like that.

[BlueEyedHipsta]

It is most certainly bullshit. Sure they may have experienced more years but that in no means makes them any smarter or wiser. Heck I know people in their 40s who cannot use the correct spellings of "they're" "there" and "their" and also "your" and "you're " even "to" and "too". You can outsmart anyone no matter what age you are. Everyone has their little circle of knowledge in this world, some know more than others, it's very annoying when an older person says they are right just because they're older.

[rjroy3]

They deserve respect as far as a fellow human being. But that doesn't mean you have to respect their opinion. Yes respect is earned, but that doesn't mean they are worthy of disrespect. If an elderly homeless man gives me advice on finance I really don't respect his opinion. But I can decline that advice and show respect at the same time. Saying, "no! Fuck you old man!" Is a sign that you really don't know as much as you think you do.

Unless you've already accomplished something big in life I suggest toning down the I'm smarter than most people attitude.

[Philosopher_Edge]

FIrst you're confusing knowledge and intelligence with wisdom.

Knowledge is knowing something happens.

Intelligence is know why and how it happens.

Wisdom is knowing not to do it.

Wisdom comes with age for the simple fact that older people have simply been around longer than you. Everything you think you know, they've already seen it probably a dozen times over, and more often than not, could already tell you the outcome.

I agree with respect is earned, but don't mouth off to someone because you think you 'know' better than they do. They might have a much larger perspective on a situation that you couldn't even imagine.

As a matter of fact, everything that I'm saying to you won't even begin to make sense to you for almost another 10 years.

[Jager66]

"I think respect should be earned. Sure, most elderly are nice people, from my experience, but if an elder is a piece of fucking shit, I'm not giving him respect just because he's an elder. Earn your respect!!! "

Yup. I have told and continue to tell many an old person to fuck off or much worse as they deserve it and I fully expect to continue doing so as I get older and older my self.

"I'm more knowledgeable than a lot of people you are wayyy older than me but they make ageist remarks when I tell them they are wrong."

Says every single teenager who ever lived, it's a cliche for a reason and what you think you know now will change a lot as you age unless you stop growing and just get stuck where you are now mentally.

[Anonymous]

Age does two things, you accumulate experience and you tend to become more even tempered.

Experience only becomes wisdom if you pay attention and think about things, which most people, young or old, don't do. Being even tempered is a big advantage but a lot of old people go the other way and become fussy and irascible.

I think you should be considerate of the elderly just because they are old and less capable but more than ordinary respect and deference is something they have to merit, like anybody else.

[SüßeJäger]

It can be bull shit but it's usually a wise thing to do. They've done and seen everything we have and much more. They know the outcome of mixing A + B = fuck up. I do get what you're saying though, respect very often but not always needs to be earned.

[LJHam]

I don't believe respect should be limited to just your elders. Everyone deserves respect, whether you believe they've "earned" it or not. We are all responsible for the energy we put out into the world with our words and behavior. And the energy we put out is what get back. So give respect to all.

[heavensgift2girls]

I agree. Age does not equal wisdom. You are however young, and should remain humble and not assume you know more than your elders as there is still a lot more you don't know, than you do know. That doesn't mean that people that are older are any more deserving of respect. You may have to respect their authority and power, but like you said respect should be earned, and is not an entitlement do to age.

[MaskedSanity]

I dunno, saying "respect your elders" seems kinda patronising, as if elders can't stand up for themselves and need society to always coddle them because they're old and helpless.

If I was old and people gave me this so called respect, I'd feel like my opinion is humoured because I'm an old windbag set in my ways, not because what I'm saying has virtue.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

Yes, I hate how people on here assume that just because they are older they can automatically dismiss my opinion. Living on that high horse shows true immaturity. Especially when the kid is only like 19, are you telling me you are a fucking genius at only 4 years older than me? Oh well, when people on here automatically jump on the "you're retarded because you're not 18" bandwagon I just count it as a win since they brought up my age instead of addressing my argument. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Sableye]

give it 10 years and you'll look back and realise you actually know very little.

You may be intelligent, but at 17 you have very little life experience, and intelligence without experience will only get you so far.

people who are 70/80/90 have had a long time to gather that experience. does that make them intelligent? no, does it mean they deserve respect? no. but if you walk around being rude and disrespectful just because they are old, then that makes you a nasty little shit lol.

[uknaked]

As an old fogey, I can honestly say that age does not mean wisdom, I respect everyone's opinion, whatever their age.
But some people suffer from parental or religious influences that are clearly idiotic and stupid, unfortunately.
I like to think that my advice is usually sound.

[WeComatose]

Well to use ones age as the only reason to invalidate a younger persons opinion isn't enough, but wisdom is subjective, as you get older you can acquire more of it, but it all comes from ones experience with their environment. So is experience reliable?

[Courtney90]

I respect everyone till they give me a reason not to. Some I respect more then others if they give me a reason to respect them more.

I think elders often speak from experience witch is to be valued an considered.

[TheFlak38]

I can make mistakes myself. I don't need the "wisdom" of my parents.
The one is a crazy old man who thinks he knows everything and the other is a brainwashed church troll who obeys the commands of any priest because she is afraid of burning in hell.
Now tell me what wisdom can I get from such people? Respect is another thing. But I won't be proud of them as well.