Guys, do you ever think of the good girl you let go of and miss her?

[Anonymous]

Say you met a really great girl, you liked her very much but got scared after a few months of dating because you weren't wanting a serious relationship, so you stop talking to her suddenly.

Do you look back and miss her after a certain time? Do you think of her often from the time you stop talking to her and wonder if you made the right choice or not? Would you contact her again or just let your pride take over and go on with your life even if she crosses your mind often? Do guys miss the good one they let go?

[DanAG]

Thoughts like that fade over time, but they can last a lifetime. It's pretty common for people to look back decades later and still think fondly of someone from the past.

I've dated other girls since then, and had a long term relationship, but there is a girl I haven't seen in over 30 years that I still think I should have married. I wouldn't say that I miss her because it's been so long. But there hasn't been anybody since then I loved as much as her - not even close.

It was similar with my father. He was WW2 generation. Like millions of others around the world, he was separated from the girl he loved because of the war. They both went on to marry someone else, but they stayed in contact all those years.

My father died at 84. On his death bed he could barely see or move. I brought in all the Christmas cards from his friends to read to him. When I got to the one from that girl from his youth he held out his hand, that was the one he wanted to see. I'm almost positive he would have married her if it wasn't for the war.

Something similar happened with my aunt. Some old guy showed up at her funeral. Nobody knew who he was. I talked to him for a while. It turned out he took violin lessons from my aunt back in the 1930s. I was talking to a couple of other people and said that old guy had a crush on my aunt all those years. They said yep, they thought exactly the same thing.

That's probably not the answer you were expecting. :)

[Asker]

It's always interesting to hear about those back from that erra. Seems as they knew what having a relationship is back then. What a great story of your father and how sad. Amazing after all those years, he still thought back to that time and wanted to read that card. Sadly, today's generation has become selfish & fearful of commitment. Though no one really has the right answer to my situation other than the person who made his choice, it's comforting to read all you guys' answers at least. Thanks

[HandsomeRaj]

1. If I love her then she's the BEST for me :)

2. There never is a 'past' about loving her and yes I'll miss her (I do) with every breath and heartbeat especially when I have good things and news to share, GOOD money earned and she's not there to big spend it :D

3. But if I've just liked her and we 'considered' each other based on certain aspects and we've let go of each other on mutual terms, I'd stay friends with her alright if she's game for it (that doesn't mean FWB or anything sexual). There's no question of pride her unless she does or says something that wilfullly hurts my pride and forcing me to retaliate (that I won't unless it seriously impedes my future and / or any other innocent person)

4. The choice has been made rationally so there's no question of looking back or regretting. I'll always be happy for both of us where and how we are. There'll never be any "if we were together ..." thought or words from me

5. She'll cross my mind alright but not with a regret or missing her situation

[ShadowJade]

I used to, but we should understand, we all have flaws. Even if you let them go, that is okay, I understand how heartbreaking it can be, I been there, waking up every morning felt like Im waking to a nightmare that I made happen. I was wandering aimlessly, losing my inner peace. I found flaws in her to soothe my soul, to save myself. It helped. But if I really wanna do a favor for her and myself, I have to do better with my life, even though its bugging you. You have to. I did try every word in the dictionary to make her come back. Also, If someone let you go, go on, build your self worth, love yourself, it doesn't matter. Just keep going. That's the best you can do. You can hold onto it, but you can also let go, it is really your choice. Personally, I want to be valued, respected, so holding onto it, goes against myself. But I did gave her an offer before I left, that she can come back to me, if she changed her mind, we can work through this. You are more important, better than any person you will ever meet. Don't put anyone over yourself. Go. We all make mistakes, just keep going.

[jacquesvol]

I had luck and I'm happily married now.

It's not about just one girl.

Some 'good girls' I knew hadn't the same luck and aren't or even weren't married.

Sometimes I think of those girls I neglected.

I even think of the good girl I didn't pay any attention to 50 years ago because I was in love with her best female friend, back then.

I'd like to meet her again and talk about back then, about how she felt then. We lost sight of each other at the end of HS but I did see her on an old class photo last week and she didn't look as good as my love, indeed. BUT I know she's intelligent and kind. I know too she never got married. I feel sorry for her. She deserved happiness, probably still deserves it.

I don't know if I miss her but I feel a bit of guilty uneasiness.

She isn't the only "good girl" of that kind I'd like to talk with about back then.

[jacquesvol]

THere's an ex I backed away from because I got scared of engaging myself back then (we were 19). Now she's a widow. I consider her a good friend and every now and then we dine together (my wife knows it)

[jacquesvol]

I've met the "one that got away" but she didn't want me and-looking back- she was right.

[Asker]

Thanks for sharing. Seems a lot of people go through these things no matter what age.Everyone's had some great answers so far. Too bad life can't be like the movies..Happy endings everywhere. Guess there is still hope as long as I'm breathing. Just wished this guy would get over his macho ego of not wanting a relationship & see a great person that was in front of him. Only been a few weeks, yet it seems like a lifetime ago. Very hard to handle as would have been nice to know him more.

[jacquesvol]

@Question Asker: only one possible answer: forget him and move on. That's what I did. (well, I didn't completely forget her but I forgot my hope)

[Navagg]

There is nothing worse than regret...the feeling YOU did somthing wrong is brutal but its part of life.

I have one person I think about all the time but it wasn't the right time for either of us. I miss the possible future I could have had. Guys don't forget, but it also makes us who we are, good and bad.

[Asker]

It just seems like they do forget and then they let time pass and sometimes it may be too late, others not. There's got to be a way to get a guy that will see you for who you are and not just thinking of sex. I mean you hear him complain about other bad experiences and makes you think they are using you to blame and not giving you the chance to show you really are genuine. I find the nicer I am the more scared guys seem to be and they put those running shoes on! Makes no sense. smh

[jacquesvol]

Remorse can be worse than regret.

[asdaven]

Id never do that. But, there was a girl I knew who was amazing. We knew each other several months and I don't know if I accidently let her go by failure to say I wanted a serious relationship or what or if she just became uninterested. I wish I knew, but I may never know. But, yes I do miss her a lot . I like good girls and prefer people who I would want a serious relationship with. So, things getting too serious is never a problem for me.

[Asker]

I someone always attract the ones that have issues of not wanting a serious relationship or they are just players, bad boys, etc. How I do this, not sure but every time I'm looking on the bright side that maybe this one could be the deal breaker. I found out fast, he obviously was not because of his issues of not wanting anything serious. We got along great & all & he seemed to like me as much as I like him but for some reason he just drifted like that. No real chance was given it seems but his loss!

[asdaven]

Some people are good at faking stuff. Also, I don't really understand people who back away from something because feelings are too strong and they don't want something serious. If I like someone enough, I want to be serious

With them. Some guys like me are shy, but have a good personality once you give the chance to get to know them. Try to avoid the guys who approach you in an very aggressively flirty way. Chances are they're players. Versus the guys who just strike up a convo with you.

[Asker]

don't really get that either, or that they back away because they are "scared!" Well, many have said some reasons guys do that is because they don't like change. They feel if it gets too serious, then their life changes and not ready to give up their freedom. Well, don't they think the girl has to do the same? It's not just one sided. Just because your in a relationship, it doesn't mean the other person wants you to give up everything. I'd just expect to be respected & given time in their life

[asdaven]

I mean I guess its more an individual thing than gender. Personally as a guy, the thing I fear most is a girl toying with my feelings, playing me, or otherwise manipulating me to have me wrapped around her finger for her own benefit. But if a girl genuinely likes me and I like her, I have no problem or hesitation whatsoever giving up my freedom for her, as I like her after all. If the relationship is beneficial mutually, I believe its far more beneficial than being single. But that's just me.

[darkknight2943]

The situation you just described is a lot like what I'm going through right now. I had a girl I loved more than anything and still do but I left home and kind of changed as a person and broke up with her. I eventually got back to being myself and realized how much I missed her but by the time I was ready to tell her anything she found a new guy. As much as I want her back I know that I was the one who messed up. Either way where I'm going with this is if he really loves you or thinks he could then he'll come back inevitably but you can't just wait around for him to change. I don't like telling people what to do on these things because in the end it is YOUR decesion no matter what you do you have to live with it. If you want to try and wait for him sure if you want to try and make him jealous that might work too but in the end you have to live with it.

[darkknight2943]

Having said that you have to try and move on for the time being. You can't let the thought of him maybe coming back hold you down

[Asker]

Exactly, those are things I've thought of as he may not come back around. Though it is hard when you are suddenly ditched for no real reason other than the fact he doesn't want anything serious. He would still like to be friends, however I've not spoken to him since the issue because it was just too hard. The hardest part is going about your day like normal but in the end I'm thinking of him around the clock as I miss his company. So many good things. It pains me to not know if he really cares.

[Premonition]

Umm Nope.

I let go of 3 Good Faithful girls, but I had my reasons.

1st- was Boring an Lazy not wanting to go outside.

2nd-was Always Sleeping an Cranky.

3rd-Couldn't even think for herself, she liked anything I liked an her favorite things she enjoyed was anything I enjoyed, etc ect.

,

[Asker]

lol @ #1

[Dimension]

I don't know about others. But I certainly do. But it should be understood that most of us guys are not so smart when it come to recognizing at the right time. When it is felt it's too late. But I would never end up with a girl by abruptly stopping to talk to her. I would do is like a man. Man to women.

I had my experience. I am still friend with her. It was never a formal proposal but a good flirting and deep understanding. I have a girl now. Serious. But it feels good to have someone to miss to feel nostalgic of those times. I believe she feels the same.

What I can say is that most people man or women miss out and afterward miss the good one they let go.

[kholland65]

Never let go of a good girl, only the bad ones. The good girls all let go of me and yes some of them I sort of wish I had back, not that it would ever happen.

[MarkMyWords]

Every day. But I am single now. When you have a GF, you don't think about it as much. No contact possible. She lives with someone now. It was longer than a few months, but she was the good one who I pushed away.

[Anonymous]

Years ago I messed up one of the best relationships I ever had. I screwed up big time, but I was young and didn't really know what I wanted. She ended up leaving me, and I've moved on, but I think about her every day. I've tried to contact her a couple of times but she's made it clear she wants nothing to do with me. I don't think she knows but for the last couple of years I've been making monthly donations to an organization that she's involved with. It helps me try to right a wrong.

[Asker]

It's sad things like this happen. Either it's not the right time or someone isn't ready and the other one is. Sorry to hear that. However, that is a sweet gesture of you making a donation to something she is involved with. It does kinda feel like you are making a right by doing that, yet sucks she doesn't have a clue. I guess only time will tell in any situation, meanwhile it's very hard going through.

[jacquesvol]

Question Asker, it's sad but we're like ships sailing on an ocean: we don't always come close enough to have a good contact, often we avoid coming close, in order not to have a problem (a collision, a pirate ship -pirates still exist- or respecting our sailing schedule, heading for another port, having our own problems)

Sad indeed.

[calialltheway1993]

:/ that's very sweet of you, but maybe it's time to move on to better things. I believe everything happens for a reason. Take this as a hint.

[DoctorSex]

No such thing as a good girl or guy...There's only people who fit what you need at a point in time... But yes to answer your question, yeah we do... But not with the same conviction and lust as before... But I'd still screw her.

[Anonymous]

No. Because the reason I let her go was because I decided she didn't interest me, or I wasn't very attracted to her. I have no reason to think back and wonder. I made the right choice.

[CRamos3]

Have ONE regret in my life -- ONE -- and that is letting this girl go over something STUPID. She is now very happily married... worst mistake of my life.

[AshBrown]

That happens to me every day, thrice a day. Then the next one comes along. :)

[Anonymous]

Yes. Pride has killed many potential great relationships.

[Yellowsmurf]

Every now and then. I wonder how far she'd have gone. Don't really dwell on it though.

[Anonymous]

I've never met the "one that got away", though I've left some girl FRIENDS, I wish I hadn't

[antou]

i haven't let go the good girl, because there is none...

[beastman88]

never met a good/great girl

[MarshallWalter]

Yeah, every now and then