"Closed Minded" vs "Open Minded"

[bbch25]

Over the last few years, and especially since joining this website, I have learnt about all the different sorts of things people are into or willing to try and what not. And I know in myself, I have never judged a person on their preference or past, and yet I have found I don't get the same in return.

Being open minded in one aspect, does not necessarily mean someone else is closed minded because they are not open to trying it. Nor does it mean you are just an open minded person and they should "live a little".

I was having a girly get together discussing boys and how our dating lives were no good, when one girl with a history of one night stands and serial dating tells us "just go out and sleep with someone, obviously relationships aren't working for you... be more open minded". And had she stopped before that end part, I wouldn't have minded she's just being helpful, but to imply I am closed minded because I want a relationship and an open to love was not fair. Because likewise, she is closed to relationships and love.

Because you may not be into anal sex, but are willing to try a bit of bondage or whether you just want plain old "vanilla" sex (and I use that as a descriptive word not a judgement), does not mean you are closed minded nor does it mean others have a right to judge.

If someone does not do drugs at a party, does not mean they are closed minded. I am typically the most sober person at a party, I'm also the first to get on a table and start dancing and just having fun.

So if someone says "god no I would never try ____ ", does not mean you get to reply saying that person is closed minded (no free speech arguments please), does not mean they are even remotely closed minded. It just means they aren't into something and that is alright.

We are all different, we are all both perfect and imperfect, and we all have our interests and as long as you can get out of bed each day you already are being an open minded person. Because to imply someone isn't living, or isn't fun, or is closed minded because they're not the same as someone else, isn't embracing a person for who they are anymore.

Because the definition of open-minded means to be "non-judgemental, non prejudice, non bias", and yet most "open-minded" people I have seen around, judge those harshly who are not interested, whereas the "closed-minded" are those who are willing to accept that people have differences and different interests...

[Anonymous]

Nice take. I am often called close minded simply because people can't change my mind with their poor arguments. They think anyone that doesn't agree with them, must automatically be close minded, meanwhile they aren't willing to change their minds either.

I am willing to keep an open mind, and even change my opinion as new trustworthy evidence is presented, but most people that want to argue with me have no idea what they are talking about, or want to quote poorly done studies which is commonly why they have the stance they do.

I often even find myself defending groups I don't agree with, and get accused of being close minded. I am an atheist that has defended the rights of religious people. I am conservative about my own sexuality, but commonly defend the sexuality of more liberal views on sex. Even though I don't agree with them, I don't feel the need to run around judging them for being different.

Often I get accused of being a close minded Christian, or a close minded liberal by whomever doesn't agree with me. By saying I am close minded they are attempting to not need to support their case, by implying the problem is with my character as oppose to them having to admit their reasoning is not good enough to change my mind.

[bbch25]

I can definitely relate to your opinion. I get called "stubborn" more than closed minded because I'll argue my points until the day I die. But I research them, I apply logic and methods that I've learnt through science and just my own analytical mind. So I am the same, I am atheist but I'll defend (or condemn) a group if someone tries to say anything against them that isn't proven with fact.
I am happy to change my opinion when someone presents me with proper logical facts, with references. That just doesn't happen often and so I keep my own.

You're definitely correct with that last line, something I had not even thought of. And I see it often in other contexts, people don't want to support their claim so they just say someone is "___phobic" "shill" "closed minded" "not smart enough to understand" etc etc. It's quite wrong and annoying.

[Opinion Owner]

I can totally relate. I can understand two people using logic coming to different conclusions, but most of the time it is based on their gut feeling as oppose to them using logic.

[bbch25]

That's true. I'll respect someone's logic if it sounds sound even if it opposes mine. But usually I'd only get to the point of a debate like that, if I knew I was talking about something I had studied and was sure of.

[Opinion Owner]

I am the same way.

[aliceinwonderland69]

I can't take people that shame others for not partying or sleeping around seriously. I think it is just insecurity motivated projection.

[bbch25]

Yes, it bothers me greatly! It's like a reverse "slut shaming" almost, and it usually comes from the people who hate being "slut shamed" in the first place. I like being in relationships not playing the field, others like playing the field and being solo, everyone's choices!

[OlderAndWiser]

It seems that being "open minded" (which has a significant overlap with being politically liberal) is a misnomer, because to open minded people, "close minded" is simply what you call people who do not agree with you. Apparently, being open minded and liberal does not actually require you to be tolerant and respectful of people who hold disparate views and beliefs.

[Dim_121]

Being open minded has changed way to much and become to brad of a term. I think that being open minded is being able to accept that a person is living like xyz and they have a right to do that no matter how foolish it might be to you. You can talk to them and tell them your opinion of it but at the end of they day you leave it as you respect that they can live how they want even though you think it is wrong. being closed minded means that your way is the only way period and they are stupid and foolish if they don't agree.

[bbch25]

Exactly right to me!
But it's almost exactly the other way around I've found. People who are "open minded" and use sex as an example, think open relationships, bdsm, anal and being all into everything is being "open" and if you aren't into that you're just closed and not living (not ALL think that).
But to me, if you're truly open minded, you'll respect that people aren't into that because it's not for everyone and realise they'll probably have other interests that you don't care about.
But, from my experience, the "closed" people are the ones saying "oh that's cool for them to do that, I'll just stick with my vanilla sex, I"m happy". And are the ones not judging.

[Dim_121]

It kind of sounds like the same thing to me. You might want to word it like open minded sex people want to experiment and find what they like sexually. Where as closed minded people won't even attempt something fairly out there even if it is just to satisfy their partners sexual curiosity.

[bbch25]

But that's not my point, my point is that open minded people aren't supposed to judge others though, by definition, because they're open. I used sex as an example of a type of open mind. Whereas closed minded are so turned off to the idea of doing anything usually.
But the open minded people I see judge those and think theirs is the only way of life, and the closed minded are saying "I respect we're different". Which based on the definitions means those two 'labels' are around the wrong way.

[Dim_121]

O ok I get what your saying. Yea it does often seem like that.

[Psi_Unknown]

Good point about people implying others are close-minded when implier might be close-minded or the impliee might be open-minded.

Whatever the case, being open- or close- minded does not necessarily mean one is right or wrong or good or bad. Being open-minded to some ideas could be destructive, for example.

[bbch25]

Exactly, and your final point is a good one. Being open to certain things (e. g. heavy drug use) can be very destructive to yourself and others.

[Psi_Unknown]

Thank you!

[Spiorad_Aisce]

I agree with your take to me being open minded is accepting other persons views. A person who thinks they are open minded yet judges another person for their preferences not to do things is more "close minded" probably than the person they are judging.

[bbch25]

Thank you.

[rjroy3]

Yea. Open minded as a term is used far too loosely these days. If you simply have a standard for yourself in what you'll allow in your life, some people will call you close minded. Even if you're actually open to new ideas and new ways of thinking. Allowing your thoughts and beliefs to evolve over time. As if commiting to anything immediately makes you close minded.

[bbch25]

True that, you're correct.

[takumii]

Sometimes people are close-minded for their own good..

Being in an 'open' relationship is infact very open-minded. But not everyone is capable of that, our feelings do get hurt. So even though it is being close minded relatively, people do not prefer open relationships

There is a narrow window of acceptance between close-minded and open-minded, if you are in that window, 95% of the world will accept you, sadly if you are not, people will tend to stand against you.

I personally am borderline closeminded , a little more guts and i'd be more towards open-minded. I say that because people disagree with some views I hold, even though it makes the utmost sense to do so.

[bbch25]

In my mind, just because someone is monogamous and not into open relationships doesn't necessarily make them closed minded. I don't see it as open minded to be in open relationships, just something you like, while I like monogamous ones. Often times people I know into polygamy or open relationships can't accept monogamy etc and that itself is closed minded.

[Redshift]

open-minded
[oh-puh n-mahyn-did]

adjective
1. having or showing a mind receptive to new ideas or arguments.
2. unprejudiced; unbigoted; impartial.

Nowhere does it say that we need to agree with an idea we have explored. Awesome take @bbch25

[bbch25]

Well don't have to agree at all, I don't agree with the "polygamorous" life style, but that's just my choice not to partake in it, I don't consider myself closed minded because of it though. But to be non bigoted, means not to be judgmental to those who hold differing views and to say someone is closed minded because they differ from you, is doing just that (in my mind). But thank you.

[Redshift]

You're quite welcome! Pity most people don't think this way. If I had a penny every time I was told I'm too conservative because I tried and didn't like something...

[bbch25]

Well jeez be more open minded! No, I think being conservative is also always a good thing. And the fact you tried it! That to me means a lot more than someone like me who might chicken out of (for example) trying that certain food because it looks gross.

[Offthelist]

Have to admit this one made me look at myself a bit.

[bbch25]

Is this a good thing?

[Offthelist]

Probably.

[bbch25]

Ah well, any self reflection is a good thing probably.
I didn't mean the post in a judgmental way to anyone of any type though.

[Offthelist]

i feel i self reflect plenty maybe too much.. Too negatively. I get caught on the negatives and rather than looking for solutions i take easy ways out rather smart ones. Its actually changing that trips me up.

[bbch25]

Ah, I am quite like that a bit. I over analyse all my problems, so I can pretty much pinpoint the day of my life whatever insecurity or negative flaw I have started. But taking easy way outs is a lot easier!

[Offthelist]

Haha im the queen of over analizing everything... a million theories and an abstract puzzle of a mind i get lost in

[bbch25]

Ahaha well maybe we're long lost relatives then :P

[Offthelist]

HAHA well I wouldn't doubt it.

[Victorianne]

I love this !! ♥ Excellent Take!! I agree with every point you made.♥

[bbch25]

Thank you! <3

[Victorianne]

You're welcome ♥

[TheBootyChest]

Great job on the myTake. It was a pleasure to read.

[bbch25]

Why thanks. It mostly popped into my mind when @Victorianne was told she's closed minded for something and that kind of bothered me! Everyone is different ha.

[TheBootyChest]

I apologize to @Victorianne for the rudeness of others. They are not like the rest of us. We are good people who don't judge.

[Victorianne]

@TheBootyChest

Thanks! :)

[TheBootyChest]

@Victorianne
You are very welcome.

[Esiar]

"Because the definition of open-minded means to be "non-judgemental, non prejudice, non bias", and yet most "open-minded" people I have seen around, judge those harshly who are not interested, whereas the "closed-minded" are those who are willing to accept that people have differences and different interests..."

Those are people claiming to be open-minded, who are not, and what those closed minded people call open minded people. Either that or you're perceiving people wrong because you could be closed-minded

[Anonymous]

a girl asked me once on this website if I was open minded and some one in my broudcast said that I was open minded but I don't no if I'm open minded or or close minded and I was told I was close minded and intolerant and homophobic just because I don't support gay marriage

[bbch25]

I support it, but I'm of the belief that we are all entitled to our opinions and it annoys me when we're "forced" to accept gay marriage but those who oppose it (yes while that is sad) are put so far down for a belief themselves because what you are doing is the opposite of what you are asking for.. you're forcing something on someone else.
Why can we not just all live in peace. You don't go to a gay club, and they don't go to your house having sex in front of you.

[Opinion Owner]

that is true

[raio81597]

Great Take!! I totally agree with every point you made!! :)

[Dred1614]

Great take. I'm definitely one of the closed minded types.

[bbch25]

And that's alright. I find I am too on many topics and I'll be randomly open minded on others (e. g. I chickened out of even sitting on a motorbike but I'll go sky diving...)

[Dred1614]

I'm the same way.

[property]

Our minds are like parachutes, they only really function when they're open...

[rjroy3]

But they make the greatest impact when closed ; )

[bbch25]

@rjroy3 Aha good one.

[Jersey2]

I have found the most closed minded people tell you to be open minded, which simply means to agree with them of GTFO.

[bbch25]

Mmmm it is quite annoying. I got called narrow minded for my beliefs in religion even though I am happy to accept that everyone has their own beliefs or lack thereof.

[Jersey2]

Yep, that is what they do. So much for tolerance, diversity and being open minded.

[bbch25]

I have found that the "open minded" when arguing, opposed to presenting why their way of life, or their beliefs etc are the "best", they call others closed minded. Like, I will accept what you say if you give me a reason to believe it, others I'll just accept we have different beliefs. But instead we just get called closed minded and "won't understand" haha.

[Jersey2]

True, ironically they are the most closed minded people I come across.

[Zombie-Killa]

Balance in everything.
Going to one extreme is just as worse the other.

[Metlahaed]

Being open minded is being able to conform your beliefs to the reality presented to you. That is all.

[BusinessBasketball]

Modern people are open minded
Old fashioned religious people are closed minded

I guess some people need to get with the program. It's 2016 not the 18th century

[ClauseViter]

Open/Closed Minded
R just words
Employed
To produce
A guilt trip
Because of
Differing
Expectations