How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

[Clarisa_]

Long distance relationships are the worst. A long distance relationship can make you feel loved but it can also make you feel very lonely. Your mind can be clouded by doubts:

"Is he/she even real?"

"Can this really work?"

Is he/she even worth waiting for?"

" Does he/she feels the same way i do?"

It takes time and patience, and two people willing to make it work. I get it because I've been there. And I can only say: LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS SUCK. There's no other way to put it into words. It's an agonising feeling. Skype calls and open chat windows become your best friends.

Here's what I've learned from long distance relationships:

1. Communication

Communication is critical in long distance relationships, make it an option. By this I mean, talk to each other when you want to, not because you have to. If you force communication you're only going to feel obligated each other. Feeling obligated can make one or both people feel resentment and can spark stupid fights.

2. Jealousy

Being miles apart can cause you to get pretty crazy. Remember that it is important to trust your partner and not get paranoid every time they don't reply to you immediately. Some people get insanely jealous or irrationally possessive of their partner for no reason, this can be threatening to the relationship. If you find yourself unable to trust your partner, maybe it is a good way to realize that the relationship just isn’t going to work.

3. Be aware of one another's schedules

This goes hand in hand with communication. Be conscious of when your partner is generally busy, working, or unreachable, and don't force yourself into that daily schedule. Living in different time zones can really suck. It might be morning for and night for your partner.

4. Sexy time is still on the table

Even though sexting or phone sex is not the same as the real thing, it can make the long distance relationship intimate. Since you already know how to flirt with each other, it will not be a hard time to set the sexy mood with words. This will give you and your partner something to think about when you're not around and spark vivid imagery for the sexting to come.

So that's all. Can a long distance relationship work? Yes, it can. Does it work? Usually, no. But then again, that’s true for most relationships, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ever at least try. So if you are in a long distance relationship, I'm sorry that your love is far out there. It is not easy, but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Yes or not?

Are you currently in a long distance relationship?

Would you ever want to try to be in a long distance relationship?

[FrenchyRomain]

it can't possibly work for everyone, me for starters. I had 2 long distance relationships in my life and both of them ended in distaster because I need something in a relationship that long distances prevent me from having : human contact. Kisses, hugs, feeling her warmth, feeling her heart beat through her chest as I hold her tight and feeling her breath on my neck. Smelling her perfume, etc... I may not have done all that you have said but I did most of it...

[Clarisa_]

Thanks for reading!

[Mustachekitteh]

Agree 100% with this take.

I've been in a LDR for over 4 years now and Skype truly does become your best friend. :D Though I would have to say this relationship is the greatest relationship I've ever had. When you find someone like this, it makes all that pain of waiting 100% worth it.

[Clarisa_]

Aww best wishes! ❤️

[Mustachekitteh]

Thanks. :) Though I think the reason LDR's normally don't work, is due to how hung up people are on being able to touch the other person. They forget it's extremely important to make it work through talking, not just by physical touches. They don't seem to see the big picture of in time they would be able to touch. Which makes the wait even more worth it.

[Clarisa_]

I agree with you. The whole point is to make the distance a temporary thing

[Mustachekitteh]

It also seems like the best test to see how much someone truly loves you. If they are willing to wait until y'all can meet up, then that would prove they truly do love being with you. Plus if you're like me a LDR makes you have to face the things you are the most weakest at. So due to being in a LDR and having to face what I'm worst at dealing with. I've actually improved as a person.

[Spiorad_Aisce]

Great take - On point about so many things - I am staying quiet on GaG for a couple of days just reading stuff but what has made me type this opinion is a weird set of events.
(1) I read your take on LDRs earlier today and must have stored it away in my mind for reflection.
(2) A few other things made me thoughtful today.
(3) I watched 2013 movie "Her" directed by Spike Jonze tonight by pure coincidence and if you watch movie thinking about your take which was in my head already, it becomes quite interlinked. It sounds like an awful sexploitation movie but it is really quite deep and meaningful.
resizing.flixster.com/.../v1.bTsxMTE3NzY1NjtqOzE3MDIwOzIwNDg7ODAwOzEyMDA
s62.podbean.com/.../her.png
PLOT:
"A lonely writer develops an unlikely relationship with his newly purchased operating system that’s designed to meet his every need.
Her has us follow a man named Theodore Twombly who works as a letter writer and spends his down time playing video games and hanging out with friends. Currently he is going through the final stages of divorce when he decides to purchase the new OS1, which is advertised as the world’s first artificially intelligent operating system. Soon enough his OS1, named Samantha, makes an impression on Theodore and an unlikely relationship begins to form as they spend time together, which leads to Theodore looking within his inner conflict about being in love with an OS".
(4) I decided to tell you about what had happened in an opinion. Who was the first take on my feature page, your LDR one and my two notifications were from you so I decided the Gods were telling me I better write my opinion on your take.

[vishna]

I started my relationship as long distance. I was in school a few hours away, and he was working full time. We had only been dating about a week, it was amazing when he visited, we treated each other amazingly, every second was great. And I miss those first few months.

Looking back, it was hard. He got jealous, my ex was there nosing around, and I was at a new school. I didn't know anyone, and I felt lonely, so so lonely. And when we really got deep in our feelings, I would tear up when he had to leave because I was so lonely. It was hard.

On top of that, my wifi was terrible so we could rarely Skype or facebook chat. And he kept forgetting my schedule, plus it changed every semester. But that was over a year and a half ago. And luckily, I came home for big holidays and the summer. And I only have one year to go :) And we've been talking engagement and moving in together.

Yea, it's been testing, and I think if people can do long distance, it makes other things easier to deal with.

[tyber1]

There are a few things you need to have a successful LDR

1) You need to not be clingy. And it needs to be a mutual understanding. If they don't answer after 2 calls, go back to what you were doing. You can set up times that you're gonna call but if you don't call or you don't answer it needs to not be a huge deal.

2) You need to trust each other. Easier said than done, especially around college age, when your partner may be going out to parties, meeting new people who aren't hours or more away.

3) You both need to actually care about each other, beyond infatuation. It's easy for infatuation to fade or take a back seat when you aren't around that person. If you're just lusting for each other then a crush who is 5 minutes away is gonna be more tempting than the one who is 5 hours away. If your heart isn't really that into it then you're gonna break your partners heart, one way or another. Be careful to not let lust/intimacy make you overestimate your feelings because that may fade with distance.

[Anonymous]

I was in a long Distance relationship and my ex was really cruel to me, she put her sister to text me faking she was her, and a bunch of stuff and when i finally moved out there to be with her she disappeared and didn't even try to talk again.

My now ex she moved away and doesn't have faith in long distance relationship, its been 9 months since she broke up with me, she was mean and said things like she was tired of me, we began talking about a month ago and she mentioned about wanting to get back with me.
Jealousy kicked in because she has been partying and i saw her on snapchat dancing with guys and smoking weed, she said she doesn't want anything to do with me and that she thought she was in love with me but its with the memories, she wanted to cut off contact so i deleted her and she texts me form time to time I don't know why the fuck tho, but yeah...

long distance sucks and ex's that say they won't talk to you again and a week later are back texting you to insult you or judge your tweets are worse.

[ManOnFire]

Well, I'm sure it's possible to maintain a long distance relationship but it is usually very unlikely, to be honest. From what I know the vast majority of such relationships do not last. They do become strained over time from seperation and the stress of it, and it often produces cheating: the guy will fool around with another girl while he's away. Or girl will get bored or frustrated with the guy being gone so long and she'll see another guy, especially for sex in what she feels is an attempt at satisfying her needs.

So for the most part I don't think many of these relationships make it very long, no. And aren't really that practical unless it's an army boyfriend type situation.

[EmpatheticLady]

The picture of the toaster and piece of bread cracked me up. xD Very good points and very well-written! Nice job, lovely!

[Clarisa_]

I was thinking of you and cesco because I want godchildren!!! Okay?

Thanks for reading love! 😘

[EmpatheticLady]

Lmfaoooo. He already said you could be the madrina. ❤

[Clarisa_]

Yes, he's awesomeeee!! 😎

[Phoenix98]

lol have you ever actually been in one? because I've noticed a lot of people giving advice about em who haven't actually ever been in one before. Not that your advice isn't good because it is I'm just curious lol.

[Clarisa_]

Ahhah I have been lol

[Phoenix98]

Just checking, was it hours or states away.

[HookingSwan]

I am on one yeah :)

Has rough times, but he makes me believe we can do this

he's wonderful

[Clarisa_]

Aww best wishes love!

[HookingSwan]

Thank you :)

[Psi_Unknown]

Communication and scheduling are probably more applicable to a long distance relationship. The idea of toaster picture is funny!

[Clarisa_]

Haha thanks for reading!

[SchmouSee]

I am currently in a long-distance relationship. We speak every day, but I have to admit it's incredibly tough, the time difference is seven hours and we get to see each other very rarely because to fly such a distance is very expensive. It can get very discouraging, but if you care about someone enough, it'll work out. It is mostly not the distance in the way but a lack of communication, jealousy, unresolved conflicts and insecurities on both sides.

[Pyrofox]

I 100% agree, LDR's do work but thats extremely rare.

[Clarisa_]

Yeah I know

[PizzaPrincess]

Never have been in one, but I wouldn't be against it.

[Clarisa_]

Yes you are with me 😘

[PizzaPrincess]

Ay okay babyy 😘

[Clarisa_]

Muahhh 😘❤️

[PizzaPrincess]

media.giphy.com/media/XgA7dQTVg5Bks/giphy.gif

[Darklydarkened]

My advice, don't kick a dead horse, if there will be miles between you and your partner and it will last a long time, don't be stupid. Just end the damn thing.

Or else you're gonna end up masturbating by describings of another person in front of a camera.

This is not a relationship, this is misery.

If your partner'll be away a couple months or half a year I get it. But if this seperation is kinda permanent, well then you're an idiot.

[mrsingle]

How do you get into a LDR? I can find plenty of girls on Facebook or dating sites that would make great girlfriend and live far away, but how would you ask to date when you've never met face to face? Do you message her and start opening up about your life? Do you ask to webcam or Skype to make sure they aren't cat fishing you?

[Anonymous]

LDRs are for some specific types of people. People who are patient, understanding, and faithful. Contrary to popular belief, one should be more realistic in a ldr, knowing there are lots of ways to go to your loved one and there will always be time to get together. Good side of LDRs is, you have LOTS of time in taking care of yourself. The only expense you will make is travel & stay expenses, which cost much but happens only sometimes, if not rarely. It is just different and wonderful/magical at the same time ldrs.

Been in a LDR without meeting in person for almost 3 years with a girl. You read that right. Now married with her and living in one roof. Our bond is deep as our souls. It is different.

There are two things you might either get from a ldr:
1 Time without him/her will always mean he/she is not with you.
Or
2 Time without him/her will always mean he/she is always with you.

[legalboxers]

I been in 6-7 LDRs since I was 18, each failed for many reasons, on primarily the drama from her friends and other factors which contributed it (met in a chatroom, her friends didn't like me, they ganged up on me) Some it may work, some it may not, but I haven't stopped trying

[Sunflower19]

I tried one... He didn't want to communicate so he ghosted me and the relationship died. Not ever trying it again.

[apple24]

WHOLLY SHIT! HE DID?

[Sunflower19]

@apple24 yep..

[ElissaDido]

That's very cowardly of him, he should have told you at least instead of making wait for nothing !

[Sunflower19]

@ElissaDido I know!!! I would've moved on and been fine

[Anonymous]

The best way to survive a long distance relationship is to cheat on her as much as possible before you see each other again, cause if she's gullible enough to think a long distance relationship will work then she won't question why you smell like other chick's perfume.

[Tdieseler]

And with all that, the three main factors will still dive bomb the relationship... tsk tsk... so sad. even with good guidelines like this... the chances of survival are still lower than 10%

[ConsultantIsBack]

Whatever you do in dating, don't date someone you can't drive to be with in person in a moments notice.
Just IMO✌