When A Man Hits A Woman, He's No Longer A Man, Right?

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Well, yes if a man hits someone who wasn't provoking him or attacking him, then he isn't a man.

I'd like to point out I DO NOT MEAN LITERALLY, I MEAN MORALLY. If anyone tries to be a smartass and continue saying how they're still a man/woman whatever, then you can kindly fuck off.

If a man hits his woman on a daily basis, he isn't a man.

If a man hits HIS man on a daily basis, he isn't a man.

Just as if a woman hits her man or her woman, she isn't a real woman.

I feel as if everything I am saying is very obvious, yet I feel the need to point it out anyway.

Those people? They're nothing more than shit.

I saw a photo on Facebook that said, "If a man hits a woman, he's no longer a man. True or false?"

Well I agree, but to an extent.

Is it abuse? If yes, then he isn't.

Is it because she's attacking him? If yes, then he is simply defending himself.

Regardless of sex, for who's hitting whom, it doesn't matter.

Nobody should be hitting anybody.

The moment you lay an unwanted hand on your SO, or parent or a child- and they're not attacking you- you are nothing more than trash.

I understand that the main reason people abuse others is because they manipulate and wish for full control, and they feel powerful. But I cannot even begin to comprehend why someone would do such a thing. Holding a knife up to their wife's throat, kicking their husband as they lay on the floor, beating their child while they lay screaming in pain... Emotional abuse is just as bad.

"You will never amount to anything."

"You're nothing to me."

"I hope you die."

"You're a piece of shit."

"Your birth was an accident."

It isn't something that should be happening but it is. Thankfully, there are rescue shelters for beaten and battered women + children, and I don't know about the men...But, either way, no one should be hitting anyone.

Self defense is the only time it's okay to harm someone else, regardless of your or their gender.

Pain and abuse does not discriminate among the sexes nor age.

[Rcjh1987]

I haven't quite figured out which is worse emotional or physical abuse I've experienced them both. As a child and even adult my grandma who "raised" me would always tell me things like why can't you be like your brother, told me I was stupid, how I wouldn't amount to anything, that if it wasn't for her I would be an orphan because nobody wanted me.(which wasn't true she just was a manipulative bitch who used my mom and dads age against them) When I grew up and got a mouth I would tell her that I didn't want to live with her anymore that I wanted to go to live with my mom. Or when my dad was actually around and he didn't piss off his mom (my grandma) otherwise it would be weeks, months, years before I would see him again. So Any time I would tell her those kind of things she would tell me that there was clearly something wrong with my head if I wanted those things, and she would stick me in counseling to have them fix my head. To this day I still resent her for a lot of things that have happened and her lack of care for my needs , physically, mentally, healthy, you name it. 4 years ago April 21-22 I said enough was enough and I left a abusive relationship I let him put his hands on me 2 times prior but this time was the last straw. I had bruising on my chin, inside my mouth from him squeezing my mouth so tight, black eye, bruised ear, neck, and a bruise on my arm that didn't go away for a month and a half. I left that apartment after he refused to leave and never looked back went to someone's house and called the cops. He tried asking his mom to talk me into dropping the charges and that all he did was push me, in which I showed her all of my bruises and told her that he can go to hell.

[gobsmacked3]

Growing up violence was one of my dominant expressions.

I had so much pain inside that I wanted to really hurt people to let them feel my pain. Some of the things I did were unfathomable and I was lucky never to be locked up for a long time

Throughout this, there is a line in the sand one never crosses in regards to laying a hand on a woman

regardless of the circumstance

[Ndbill]

Why should other people need to feel your pain? This is another example of entitlement that I just don't get.

Don't take this as a comment against u personally. I'm just against the mindset.

[Rawrzz]

Um. Nothing changes your gender. Even if you lose your reproductive organs, you're still pretty much a male or a female. Why not just use accurate words? Like "Douchebag" "asshole" "violent sociopath"? Exactly why does it have to be "You are rejected from your gender."?

As for rescue shelters, men are expected to be able to handle their own problems. So they don't get help. Even if female issues don't get solved, they at least *get addressed*. Like Bill Burr has stated, a woman cut her husbands dick off and threw it down the disposal and chopped it up into little pieces. People thought it was hilarious. But if a man cut his wife's tits off and threw them in the dryer, would anyone think it was funny? At all? Nope, the whole country would grind to a halt; the NFL would be required to wear some pink wristband or something. People give a shit when stuff happens to women, but they don't when it happens to men. That's just how it is.

As for the degree of violence. Based on a recent study by the CDC, domestic violence against women is 80% of domestic violence in *mild* cases. However, bumping it up to moderate-severe domestic violence, men and women are about equal in how much they attack each other. It's about 50/50.

I watched my dad backtrack so many times when I was growing up, when my mom was coming at him with a knife or a Fred Flintstone-esque pan, broom, glass, metal, whatever was laying around she would use to try to seriously harm him. She had issues; I don't blame her, just saying. He'd get cuts and bruises and never lay a single finger on her. But he didn't go to the doctor, either, even when he got a fairly deep lacerations. Because going to the doctor and saying "Oh, I got my ass kicked by my woman," is pretty much the most emasculating thing that you can say. So that figure of 80% of mild cases is most definitely skewed, since men aren't going to go to the doctor or police when they get mild injuries. It's pretty much 50/50, but for a long time it's always been considered that men are incapable of being injured by women. Not only is that profoundly insulting to women, it's also really unhelpful to men.

Really, just like my dad, even if a woman does attack you, you're expected to not hurt her, even trying to defend yourself.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

i meant morally how the fuck is no one understanding that

[Rawrzz]

Ah, I missed that part scan reading. My bad. No one understands that, because people always feel justified in any action they take. Otherwise they wouldn't take it.

A woman gets mad that her husband cheats on her or doesn't take out the garbage, so she cuts his dick off because he "deserved it". A man gets mad because his wife was looking at other men or isn't respecting him, so he smacks her around every night, because she "deserved it". Sometimes it's because their parent beat them, so they learn that's the way to raise a child or they think it will make them tough, etc.

There are a lot of variables. I don't know all the reasons, but ultimately it does boil down to either emotion or some skewed beliefs.

[shadowelite102]

A man is still a man no matter what if he is a man. A man does not cease to be a man if he hits a woman, nor an unprovoking woman (even an unprovoking man). Most of the time the man is provoked, when he is not directly provoked by another person then he abuses others because he is hurting.

OH, SHOCKER! Guess what, people don't abuse others because they want to be powerful and in control, usually. The people who do wish to abuse others with physical power tend to be psychopathic, and those people are rare, very rare. When a man hits a woman he does not do it just for the heck of it or to show off his masculinity, that's garbage thoughts and lies. When a man hits a woman or someone close to him in his life it is because he does not feel like he has much control in his life and takes it out on others, when provoked. Though, if he is under a lot of stress then it might not take much at all for his buttons to be pressed and for him to release his pent up anger out in the form of physical violence. It tends to stay in the form of verbal abuse before he gets to physical abuse though, that's when you know that he needs help.

An abusive man is a broken man, do not mistreat his illness. Men do not resort to violence unless something is wrong at a deep level, understand this.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

TLDR

Either way, an abusive man does not have an "illness", I do not sympathize for abusive people because they can control if they hit someone unless they're a psycho/sociopath

[shadowelite102]

I won't respect your opinion if you don't care enough to read all of mine. An abusive PERSON has issues, men are not all monsters who want to have control by hurting others, that's ridiculous. Abusive people need help, as simple as that.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Yes they do but that does not mean it is an illness.

Also, I never said all men are monsters who want control.

[shadowelite102]

An abusive man does not have a physical illness, but a mental one. It can go away with persistence and/or therapy. Anybody who is physically abusive to people who do not provoke it are mentally ill and need psychological help.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

i dont think theyre mentall ill at all, i just think theyre fucked up.

[shadowelite102]

They are fucked up, mentally. Come on, this isn't that difficult to understand. Only psychopaths hurt unprovoking people, psychopaths are very rare, psychopaths are mentally ill.

[hellionthesage]

All of those things which women are actually statisticly more likely to do then men. So that stated what is the point of this take? Every one knows this, in fact we can see it in every single medium we have dating back to before the middle ages where in every story the bad guy is the one who harms women adn the good guy is the one who treats women well (better then they would another man in fact). So to state this is to state that the sky is blue ie what was the point? Now it would have made sense if you adressed this to women considering they are statisticly far more likely to commit violence towards men (70% of all nonreciprocal violence is perpetrated by women, 50% of reciprocal violence, and the majority (I think it was 80%) of verbal/emotional abuse (also violence in a relationship was a predicator of past and future violence for women but not so for men heavily suggesting that she was the originator/instigator of said violence as it followed her from relationship to relationship not him) as well as to comit violence towards children (60% of all child deaths due to negligence was due to the mother, only about 20% from the father, 60% of deaths from violence from the mother (70% of victims where male) but only about 40% from men)) and children. As it stands however all you have done is reitterate the same thing so many others have stated since the dawn of civilization. So what was the point?

[cth96190]

Children need their arses paddled from time to time, especially boys.
One of the problems that society has today is that women are making the rules and women do not understand what is needed to raise boys correctly.
As for men hitting women. . . no, unless it is the woman who initiates violence.
If a woman hits (or more likely tries to hit) me, she will be on the receiving end of a world of gender equality. Hit a man, expect to be treated as a man.
Women who stay with abusive psychos are the architects of their own misery, because:
a. She chose the abusive scumbag as her partner.
b. She stayed with the abusive scumbag after he belted her.
After observing the dynamic of abusive relationships (from the outside, looking in) I have come to the conclusion that women choose abusers and stay with the abusers because, on a subconscious level, they believe that is what they deserve.
It is all based on our subconscious level of self esteem, which causes us to choose what we believe we deserve. For those who are interested in the psychological process, an easy-to-understand explanation is offered in the book The Instant Millionaire, by Mark Fisher.
www.amazon.com/.../1577319346

[Azara]

I think you should not hit people who are smaller or weaker than you but instead retrain them in cases of self defense and if you must hit it should be appropriate to their size.

And in the case of. Not hitting weaker people this doesn't translate into simply men not hitting women. a

Aso I don't think ANYONE $should hit anyone unless in self defense. I don't think there's anything morally superior about a strong person up and hitting an equally strong person for no reason compared to hitting anyone else for no reason. I feel like those " men shouldn't hit women " ( as if all. men are equal which they are not: slogan just a way of implicitly condone violence overwll-- as long as it's" the right kind."

And it's believing in Violence he first place that results in weaker people getting hurt if there was no toleration period that'd be avoided.

[MrShinyPants]

If the man hits her without her previously attacking him and him doing it for no important reason, ie self defense, then no he's not a man, but to be fair he wasn't one before he hit her because real men dont even contemplate doing so let alone carry it out. Yes if she was attacking him without any provocation then yes he can hit back in self defense, but either way dont get carried away, fighting is for those whose pride are hurt, immaturity and idiocy, of course unless your fighting to defend someone and there's no possible way the outcome could be changed by peace and intelligence then yeah, whail away.

[MrShinyPants]

Oh and as for those who hit animals and children and do worse to both, those aren't humans those are endtrails puked up by a dirty used colon who aren't even worth crap unless they permanently change for the good

[SomeGuy37]

Being a 'Man' as you suggest in this post is not about 'gender', it is more about respect, and being something beyond 'male' as I understand your question. No 'Man' would ever hit a woman, or child, or even a pet, and I cannot imagine any provocation that I would think that a good choice.
Someone is going to say, 'If she's attacking you, or threatening you,' yeah, but that is a lame excuse. There are many things that a person of either gender can to to deflect or avoid any kind of attack, without having to hit, or punch, or inflict pain.
I think it should be a requirement, in High School, for all women to have self-defense classes, just because there is so much violence against women.
I don't think it will stop, until women can feel confident, protecting themselves. I think that the level of abuse will decline, substantially, when the abuser gets subdued by the one doing the assaulting!! That is either gender.

[Junlian]

Hit me when I'm in the mood then imma call someone to get her, hit me when I'm not in the mood, going to get hit back. Can't control yourself then your emotions going to cause get into trouble. This generation is so separated, so delusional, so backwards they see woman as a physically weaker sex but what is being done about women stand there and lay your hands on them. WHO THE FUCK IS RALLYING, WHOS STANDING UP, WHOS SAYING IT WRONG? No body. Just " never put your hands on a woman, never make her cry, never this and never that. Sooooo for guys... We have... Never... Oh I forgot just respect us men and were cool! Wow... Reality check, keep your damn hands, emotions, or verbal abuse to yourself.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Well unless the govt nuters him he is still a man. See I have a problem with society. Basically, your a women no matter what. Society values the fact that no matter how bad you are, you are still valuable as you can produce children. Where as men aren't considers men until they accomplish or do something bad and get their card revoked. Women can say shit like your not a man if you don't act masculine enough yet I never here a guy tell a girl she using a women because she I ain't act feminine as much. So I say screw all this ain't a man bullshit.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

thats nice but i mean morally, not literally

[kyteinthesky]

This shouldn't be a gender issue. You don't become less of a man or women for harming someone else , you just become more of a shitty person.. but then again if you harm someone that has bin abusing you and one day you snap.. well that can seam wrong on the surface and I think it can be just to some degree, still a different solutions is much better. But wen all is said, in the end its not a gender issue.
P. S. I really like the pitchers you used really powerful !!

[SaleenMustang13]

Call it how I was raised or even training, whatever... there is never a situation that is acceptable to use excessive physical control over anyone. No it is never to assuault another person with a weapon! Does that change your sex no... but does it change who you are as a person well I think that question answers itself... either way physically restraining someone and actually having to result to physical violence it's never ok, unless it is a life or death situation... I understand that this site is geared for a open place for people to ask anything and grow without restriction, I assume that you're asking this because of a personal direct situation which if that is the case or a friend of yours is in there is help out there, there are good people in the world (even though it is extremely difficult to find them but they do exist).

[0112358]

I would say a man who is violent, not in defending himself or others, is a bad man.

We have a very traditional idea of manhood as being something that is earned, and that then had associated privilege. If you take a feminist reading of things (and I think they're sometimes right and sometimes not), patriarchy did not reward all men. Patriarchy gave certain rewards to men who played their part as warriors/earners and followed a certain rule set. Any deviation made them 'not real men'. 'Not real men', i. e. any men who were weak, overly sensitive, lacked self control, had mental health issues, were gay or bisexual, etc. etc., were treated like trash.

That system has some material flaws.

Whether it should be reformed or tossed out is a question. But it makes me nervous when people say things like 'not a real man'. That attitude, that 'being a man' is earned and can be lost, has been used in such dangerous ways.

[Maik567]

I dont understand the obsession with people using "being a man" to mean whatever they want it to mean. Why not just use words that actually describe the situation, like calling them abusive and a horrible person. Why say that if they do something bad they are no longer a man, it literally doesn't explain anything and all it is is an attempted attack towards someones insecurities and it's just based on the idea that men are supposed to be manly 100% of the time.

People use this logic on whatever they see fit, even if its bad.

"Youre not a man if you dont pay on the first date"

"Youre not a man if you cry" etc.

Its always better to just call them what they actually, abusive and horrible people.

[bluenose1872]

there's a difference between hitting an innocent person and hitting someone who needs it. Hitting an innocent person is taking a liberty. Some people, harsh as it may sound, need a good slap to put them back in their place. i only ever hit my girlfriend once. I grabbed her by the hair and threw her off the bed. She'd just hit me on the chest with a belt buckle and nearly killed me so i flipped. I felt like shit as soon as i did it. Dunno why. i think it was justified though. Is somebody does taboo things like hitting their partner then theyre opening themselves up to be attacked in kind

[Anpu23]

Guys can not defined themselves legally against female abuser. If he even pushes her out of the way because she is blocking the door, he has assaulted her and will go to jail, if he grabs her arm to prevent her from hitting him, he has assaulted her and will go to jail. This comes from "primary aggressor" laws that say in almost all domestic violence situation the man is at fault. There are "domestic abuse helplines" for men that classify a man as either an abuser or not involved in domestic violence (he can not be a victim). There are so few domestic violence shelters in the US that accept men that you could count them on one hand and still have a finger or two left over. It's not fair to give men the idea that they can defend themselves, when the truth is that they cannot. There's a reason why 70% of all domestic abuse victims who do not fight back are men, it's cruel to give them advice that isn't based in reality.

[10dsw]

Yep.

See it's actually interesting because the moment a man hits a woman there is a progressive decline in circulation to the penis and testes. This eventually results in their amputation.

This amputation results in a lack of testosterone production which results in breast development.

This is followed by the formation of...

I could go on.

[MakeShiftThug]

I would disagree. Being at fault or falling into error doesn't mean you're not a man. A man, simply put is an adult male. There are both good men and there are bad men, there are noble men and there are ignoble men.

If a husband once raised his hand to his wife out of anger and later realizes the error of his ways, reforms and faces the repercussions of his actions. Although he did something horrible/unacceptable, I would still consider him a man for coming to terms with his actions. ( just to be clear, I'm not trying to justify abuse. Abuse is wrong )

[outie40]

I'm 4'10". I haven't grown since sixth grade. To me it's not about size. A bully is a bully. I grew up around them and I was beat on by them all my life in school. Don't have much sympathy for them

Sometimes you have to fight I get that. But it takes a bigger man to walk away. NOT easy. It's not the size of the man that makes the man its the qualities within that man that makes the man

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

I never said anything about size, I don't know why everyone keeps bringing it up as if it plays into abuse

[outie40]

A girl is my size and it's cute and sexy. I'm that size and I'm looked down as less of a man. It's how are society is built. It's that cycle we teach are kids. No man should ever hit anybody in anger a women or a child. When they do that they are no man to me. These boyfriends who hurt these little kids they aren't men to me. They are pathetic. They hit on women. I'm not a bad ass but you know what I can fight back come and hit on me

[higgsboson]

I've personally seen video of police trying to arrest women resisting arrest. The women bit, scratch, spit, and try to knee these officers in the penis and balls. Police officers have been stabbed by these women, but according to the logic of the title, I guess they should just die men and let these women stab them and terrorize men and women alike. #Equality

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

did you even read what i wrote? if so youd know you're bein an idiot

[higgsboson]

I knew you question was rhetorical, idiot.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

you clearly didn't read the mytake...

[higgsboson]

you clearly don't have a dictionary.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Ah yes the internet user doesn't have a dictionary when all they need is google. You're just too much of a fucking riot lol thanks for making me laugh.

[lightbethyway777]

to do this sort of thing in the first place is a sad act & to do it to the one you are suppose to love is a sad act, violence is not exceptionable in any case. violence comes from the darkness of mans heart which has no place among the living, how can people call it love, when they know differently in their hearts real people never resort to these destructive methods. No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other,