Do you think fairy tales influence our choice of a partner?

[vekin]

Do You Think Fairy Tales Influence Our Choice Of A Partner?

[selfishstars]

Perhaps.

I'd say, more broadly, that the media we consume, in general, influences us in many ways. In terms of partner choice, it can influence what we perceive as attractive, as well as the expectations that we have for a partner, and for our relationships. It influences what we perceive as "normal" and "desirable". It influences our perceptions of the other gender, of our own gender, and of gender dynamics. It influences our behaviour in terms of interacting with the other gender, flirting/pursuing, and how we conduct ourselves while dating or being in a relationship.

That's not to say that everyone internalizes and mimics everything they see in television and movies, read about in books, etc. Media affects different people in different ways and to different degrees. In a way, it acts as a "window into the unknown" because it offers an (artificial) look into the lives of others, which can sort of "fill in the blanks" around people, situations, etc. that we're less familiar with and not have extensive real life examples of. For example, we don't typically get a intimate look at many other people's relationships. Your parents' relationship is probably the one that you know the most about (but even then, a lot of aspects are probably hidden from you). You get glimpses of other friends and family members' relationships. But television and movies are where you see people's relationships actually develop, and where you see the private interactions between a couple, etc. You also see the entire "course" of relationships within a small period of time.

For some examples, I do see some women who expect men to do big, elaborate romantic gestures for them. They'll complain that their boyfriend/husband isn't romantic (completely ignoring all the smaller sweet things he does for her).

I see some men internalize the idea that if you're just persistent enough, the woman will agree to date you and then realize how awesome you really are.

[vekin]

Great response!! I agree with what you say about girls complaining about their boyfriend and at the same time ignore the small sweet things. I have seen tis with my sister, her ex was really a great guy he did everything for her but she was complaining anyway for not bringing flowers and other things

[XRabbitHeartX]

Well many "fairy tales" don't teach that far out things in terms of romance. I mean don't we all want a partner who is good to us and who can be romantic & affectionate. I don't see that's wrong with aspiring to have those things in a relationship. Seem pretty basic to me. That's the only thing I really remember from fairy tales. However it should go both ways though.

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Well no, the fairy tales I grew up reading were not by Disney. They were far darker and twisted, I don't think reading about Hobbya's influenced my love life at all...

weewhitehoose.co.uk/.../hobyahs-8.jpg

[vekin]

what kind of fairytales did you grew up with?

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Ones that didn't always have happy endings :)

The Hobyahs eat children, they steal them in sacks and keep them underground. In the end though they all get eaten alive by a Labrador and the kid escaped, but the hobyahs have already killed and eaten his parents and his pet dog. The pet dog has his limbs systematically removed each night as the story progresses until he's got no legs and is placed on a shelf.

[vekin]

a nice bed time story

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Better than a lot...

[vekin]

where can I find these fairytales?

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Oh I don't know, I have this ancient book that my mom gave me which had loads of old English Fairy tales. I have lots of Russian fairy tales, Welsh fairy tales... I like proper folk stories.

[vekin]

I also have a russian book with fairytales

[Anonymous]

In my case, no, but for some people, it's extremely important. The Bible verse they typically quote is 2 Corinthians 6:14 -- "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." Sounds very accepting and tolerant, just like Jesus would have wanted.

[vekin]

hahah why keeping the bible into this?

[Opinion Owner]

You were asking about fairy tales, no? What better place to find them?

[vekin]

if you don't beliebe it is your choice but is such a response really needef?

[Opinion Owner]

I do not know what u r asking

[dthdhdghadh]

Pretty much everything does, to a degree. If you watch/read/hear a lot of fairytales and they influence your life to a greatly, I'd say it would.

[Anonymous]

To me, all prince charming in fairy tales are all PERFECT. Can you find someone perfect? No, everyone has flaws. Fairy Tales don't really influence me because I pretty much know perfect doesn't apply on people.

[vekin]

but maybe you wish your future partner act like this fairytale prince?

[Opinion Owner]

There's no fairytale prince because that basically means perfect and we know, nobody is perfect.

[vekin]

indeed nobody is perfect

[justbanANNAz]

not necessarily out partner but i think the other gender in general.

[vekin]

can you explain a bit?

[justbanANNAz]

ok so like, say someone like the beast. he's ugly but his personality was what all girls found adorable. then girls hope that men will be like that.
or aladdin, a lot of girls find him hot but he was also pretty down to earth until he became a prince. even jasmine was turned off by that.
or eric [the little mermaid]. in today's society, if one met a girl who couldn't talk, no offence but chances are most men won't give her much time. he was intrigued by her and it still worked out.

i guess it's that the men in those movies r so wonderful that they are painfully unrealistic...

[vekin]

aha now I understand

[Phoenix98]

I can't speak for other people but for me personally no.

[hypno-trip]

I don't think they do they just influence our fantasies...

[vekin]

but if they influence our fantasy don;t they also influence our choice of partner in a way?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. There are plenty of people that would refuse to date people of other religions just because of that - their religion.

[Anonymous]

Yes! Lol but they're not real... and neither are prince charmings

[Bards]

Noooppe. Disney is sexist as fuck tbh

[vekin]

not only disney has fairytales

[Bards]

What others then?

[vekin]

almost every culture has their own fairytales

[Bards]

Yes yes I know, just wanted some specific examples

[jacquesvol]

Not my choice of a partner.

[Despondency]

Very heavily.

[HollywoodGlam]

To some extent, yes.

[Asiashiithead]

What r u smoking?

[vekin]

I don't smoke anything

[Asiashiithead]

Then smoke u will see