My boyfriend always says he's pathetic. Help?

[summerfox]

So my boyfriend keeps on saying he's pathetic and useless and says he's never any help. He also won't stop saying that I'm too good for, I deserve better and that he doesn't know why I even date him. Now, all of this really really frustrates me and no matter how much I tell him how much I love him and why, and that he's amazing, he never listens, or he say's it a week later. It really does add stress onto me for some reason and in a way I feel like I'm being pushed away... even though I know I'm not... What should I do?

[Errhh]

damn... sounds like an annoying boyfriend... an annoying everything... :/
people like that get on my nerves...

Next time he says it, tell him to do something productive then. Do something with your life, do something useful.

These type of people sometimes don't need reassurance or to be praised and such as you're doing replying with "no you're not"... and "i love you, you're amazing" and such.. etc. etc... What they need is to be told "yes you're right, you're pathetic so go do something productive with your life." ... and if i were you i would have left him already... and if he really wanted to be with you he's try to get you back and to change his lame personality.

[summerfox]

The thing is I really do love him. And I told him straight what I thought so this are okay now.

[ayylamo]

Confidence is all about how you present yourself to others. It's an illusion. Deep down we're all insecure, but not everyone whines about them to the people around us. Maybe you could encourage him to find a better emotional outlet.

I'd recommend joining an online community with other like minded people who can "get" him. That should provide some of the emotional reassurance he needs.

Right now you're feeding him with all of the 'typical' responses which actually frustrates him. Misery loves company and an always-positive response to a downer comment feels insincere. Be honest & true about what you're thinking.

[summerfox]

I'm not quite sure what you mean by typical response...

[ayylamo]

You're telling him what you think he wants to hear instead of telling him what you're telling us.

[summerfox]

I told him that, but I really do think he's really an amazing person! I really did tell him what I thought though.

[summerfox]

And thanks a lot :) really helped.

[Anchor]

You can either break up or have a serious talk with him. I recommend talking first. If it doesn't stop and it bothers you too much just break up. He seems depressed, maybe tell him to see a professional?

[summerfox]

I do know that he's going through depression, actually we both are. There's no way I want to break up with him because I really am in love with him and I know he's really in love with me... I will definitely try and have a proper talk.
Thanks

[Anchor]

Don't tell him to man up or stuff like that. He's suffering from depression so talk to him and tell him to get help.

[summerfox]

Yeah thanks

[HorrorFan]

The normal female red light that flashes "This guy has no confidence. Abort. ABORT!" didn't kick on.

You should get that checked out.

[summerfox]

Well I don't want to abort because I really do love him. Hahaha

[Anonymous]

Be blunt and honest. 'the only reason you are pathetic is because you are making yourself appear so. man the fuck up'

[summerfox]

I am literally tempted to say that!

[summerfox]

I also think he will know how pissed at him because I never swear unless I'm furious.

[Opinion Owner]

oh don't be angry, that's not going to make your statement carry any meaning, that will just make you look angry. and we all know angry people say dumb things. you dont want him to think this is just a dumb thing you said only because you were angry

[summerfox]

Okay no swearing at him... he just went to hospital...

[summerfox]

Yeah true, definitely no angry!

[Daynada]

Went to the hospital for what?

[summerfox]

@Daynada apparently internal bleeding and coughed up a bit of blood cause of tae qwon do. Now both of us have been in the hospital within the last two weeks

[Anonymous]

If he says you deserve better then you do

[summerfox]

I really don't want to deserve better though... And it's not like he actually wants to break things off..

[Opinion Owner]

I don't understand why he'd say that then

[summerfox]

I guess... he just doesn't have any confidence in himself..

[Opinion Owner]

Mmm
.