Search Results: show up with a flower

Please be honest although I'd appreciate it if you weren't rude, I just want to see what the results are and hear some feedback from the female perspective. Essentially the point blank of it is I'm not even close to an appealing partner.

I live off less than $1000 a month before rent if I lost all my spare weight & trimmed my beard, I am MAYBE a 5 out of 10 in looks. I wouldn't say I'm ugly but saying I'm attractive is just pity or comforting flattery and I know it.

I struggle a lot with mental health & depression & have enough baggage from multiple traumatic events to fill a C-130. I'm ADHD, OCD & Bipolar and even on my best days it shows. I'm medicated & in therapy but there's limits in certain cases to how much you can change because a lot of it is chemical because my body chemistry is all messed up.

My brain often bounces between giving me way too much dopamine & not giving me any which makes it hard to keep my emotions stable. Obviously its stressful not just for me but the people who have to see it & I have problems with my speech patterns being too loud on accident even when I try not to and aware of it. I also have a robbery felony from a guy I was lied to about him being an attempted rapist. "Vigilante justice situation but she lied."

The one thing going for me is I try to be a good person & make sure to focus on my partner to make sure I meet their emotional needs not just their physical ones. In the past when I've attempted dating, I've done things like bring flowers made picnic baskets personally to go on a lunch date in the park etc. There have been times where I listened to woman cry comforting them 6 days a week from 10PM-3AM on days I was busy running off 2-4 hours of sleep for literal months.

Basically, I'm average or bellow in every way except for the fact I'll do everything I possibly can to be the best partner I can, stand up for them & make sure they feel truly loved & valued. That's it. That's what I bring to the table. Love and respect.

There was this girl I knew has told me this in the middle of conversation we had for context, she’s 23 years old:

I’m not very experienced in love. I don’t understand hookup culture, and I dislike serial dating. I have had bad experiences with LDRs and simply everything social media-related. I may act like a tough cookie, but I really am not.

Are there still people out there who will stand at your doorstep holding flowers and maybe chocolates, nervous and stumbling over their words? Are there still people who write Christmas and birthday cards each year to the people they love? Are there people who will gift their favorite book with annotations to their lover so they can enjoy it too?

I don’t want to be shown off on your Instagram or Facebook page like some meat trophy with a name. I don’t want to remind someone of my birthday or that it’s the day when a loved one passed away. I don’t want to be compared to all the beauty exhibited online.

I want someone to slow down with me and stare up at the sky, watching how the clouds turn into different shapes. Sigh.

What do y’all say?