We all know and understand the power of words. We know that words can make us fall in love, and they can also compell one to kill themselves.
So why talk about this? I thought I would bring this to attention because a lot of us don't stop to think about the kind of compliment we give someone. I will delve into two categories of compliments. My aim is to help you realise that not every compliment you give is actually received in the manner that you intended it.
1. Compliments on the External:
Taking note of somebody's physical appearance can be delivered in a wonderful way, but in a time such as this, we seem to have lost the ability to attach meaning to the person we see. Our language is an extensive one, and it is quite amazing how calling someone 'hot' as opposed to 'beautiful', is received in totally different ways.
The More 'Shallow' Words:
hot, cute, sexy, nice, fine, bitch, skux, stud, hoe, etc.
The More Meaningful Words:
beautiful, stunning, dazzling, handsome, amazing, breathtaking, etc.
see the difference?
note: do not think that this is a license for you to go out there and call every woman/man beautiful/handsome, just because it's more meaningful.
To men: I assure you that a lot of women have thought of these questions when physically complimented- 'How many women have you said that to?' 'Do you really even mean that?'. [Solution in section 2 :P]
Compliments feel better when they're genuine and unexpected. The more girls you call beautiful, the less impact it has.
2. Compliments on the Internal:
These kinds of compliments are the ones which mean the most. The ones that surpass anything you can express regarding someone's physicality. Why? Because complimenting the physical is easy. You see a surface, a person, an object of desire if you will, you like it and you verbalise your thoughts.
However, to internally compliment someone is to look beyond the surface, to dig deep into the depths of another's soul and discover what sets them apart from other inviduals. Millions of girls have great breasts. Any guy can get washboard abs. BUT not every girl intellectual, and not every guy has an artistic side. Learn to recognise this- the very element/s of a person which define them as different. We talk about mainstream, generalisations, stereotypes. No... No. They're constructions of a ruthless society that places us humans in categories. The loss of individuality, to me, is an illusion. It is there- no one can take it from you, but sometimes it is hidden away.
Find something. Anything. Look. Make an effort for goodness sake, to just look beyond what you see with your eyes and tune into what you feel with your heart. It's not 'uncool' to have some depth to you.
My point:
I'm not here to focus on the insults. I'm here to talk about 'improving' your kindness. Men, calling us women a 'hot bitch' really doesn't make us feel special. Ladies, when you call a guy 'literally perfect', he knows you're lying because he's not perfect and neither are you. No one is.
Get your selection of words right. Think about what it is you're about to say. What do you intend to say? Make it poetic if you have to. If you take away one thing from this MyTake, it's that you must:
step:
1. Make a connection physically.
2. Make a connection mentally.
3. Reach a recognition of another's individuality.
4. Show you're appreciation of that in the best way you can, BOTH verbally and through action.
Most people don't get past the second step or even the first.
Let's take our kindness to the next level.
~j.b
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