My boyfriend plays World of Warcraft and a lot of it.

[punchxcore]

So I love my boyfriend and all, but he plays a lot of World of Warcraft. I can appreciate it's something that he's into, as he probably wouldn't understand my love for concerts, as I don't understand his love for that game. We're in a long distance relationship right now (about an hour and a half away) and we see each other every weekend, but during the week when I talk to him online it seems like he goes back and forth between talking to me and WoW a lot. Now, I'm not saying he neglects me and focuses all his attention on the game, because he doesn't. He just has a lot of time on his hands right now because he's been laid off since middle of October and just sleeps and plays that game. He doesn't play it at all when we're together which I suppose is a good thing. The only time he has played it is when I'm at his house and I'm sleeping or if I'm doing something else, such as talking to a friend on AIM. I jokingly/not-so-jokingly told him one that I think he cares more about that game than me. He was like, I hope you were joking because that kind of hurt. I don't know. Is there anything I can do/say to get him to play it a little less? Or should I just not worry about it since he doesn't really play it when I am around? And the last guy I dated would play Halo and Rock Band when I was there. Thoughts? Advice? Suggestions?

[Anonymous]

I am in pretty much in the same situation as you. I go to school out of state so I am in a long distance relationship as well. It does not bother me that my boyfriend plays warcraft, but sometimes I would like a simple "hello, how are you?" on AIM. I feel ignored. I know his raid schedules and when he plays further past the time and still ignores me, I feel isolated. He has been playing the game since it came out, even before we even met so he is an officer and needs to be involved a lot with his guild. It can be frustrating when the first thing he does when we are hanging out together after not seeing each other for a week that he checks his guild's website. I have been told to try the game out for myself, which I have and it just isn't my type. I am more of a nintendo person as well. I try to then not talk to him on AIM like he does not talk to me, but that is not the type of person I am, I communicate. I have joked around too and told him that the game is more important than me, which he too felt offended about. I feel sometimes it is true. He will talk with me and pay more attention to me when I tell him this, but I have to tell him far too often. Don't get me wrong, I am super independent and don't need to be catered to, but sometimes I would like to feel more appreciated and more important than a game, especially when I am home from school for breaks. My guy plays rockband and guitar hero too, but at least those are two games I enjoy playing too.

[punchxcore]

It's a horrible feeling when you feel like your boyfriend pays more attention to the game with you. Though, when I want to talk to my boyfriend I ask him to stop playing the game for a bit, or I'll hint that I want to talk to him without interruptions, so he says he'll stop playing. I am fortunate that he doesn't play the game when I am there. I just wish there were something we could do to get our guys to stop playing as much. I jokingly asked what he would do if I were to burn his games.

[punchxcore]

Yeah, my boyfriend tried to get me to play it once and I played it for like 10 minutes, but it wasn't that exciting to me. I also told him I couldn't justify paying 15 or 20 bucks a month to play a game when I could play games on my computer for free. We still communicate over Yahoo, but I can tell a difference when he is playing his game and when he's not.

[Starling]

I don't think you understand gamers. Either get used to the fact that they will play games, often. Or stop dating them.

[dfg456]

Wow is too addicting of a game because it never ends. I stopped playing mmorpgs due to the amount of time you have to put into them to have fun. Your boyfriend is also probably hooked because it had a new expansion released recently as well.

Try to get him to play games with you, maybe get a wii, it'll feel better .

Since he's not stuck to his computer when your around him, that's a pretty good sign that he wants to be with you more than the game though. There doesn't seem to be too much of a problem with him though, I've seen much worse. At least he's not on for 12 hours a day (if he is then you should ask him to cut back).

He should also find another hobby besides playing that game, if all he's doing is sleeping and playing. He's kind of living a hikkimori lifestyle which isn't that great. Does he get any exercise at all because after sitting in front of a computer for a while you need to get up and do something. His metabolism is going to drop and he'll soon find out that he can't eat as much as he used to be able to without gaining weight.

Best thing to do is to find a game to play together, it'll bring him closer to you.

[punchxcore]

My only issue is during the week when we don't see each other since we live an hour and a half away. It's only like this because he's laid off until middle of January so he's collecting unemployment. He did mention wanting to start walking everyday to get out of the apartment. I mean, we could start playing games and stuff, but that doesn't help him for when I am not around. I know it'll change come January since he'll be gone 4 days a week straight and then home for 3 (he travels for his job)

[dfg456]

Your thinking about it too much, the only problem he's having right now is probably his health. When he gets back to work, things should be normal for him.

[atkcody08]

Buy him Call of Duty 4. That game is sick.

I'm just kidding.

But, you should just get into a game with him. I mean. I used to play a computer game (Red Alert 2) a lot when I was younger. I had my girlfriend over, and she watched me play it a few times. She ended up buying the game and playing it with me from her house. Its the only game she ever really got into (and guitar hero), but I think its because she took the time.

As men, we love our video games.

I love concerts too btw. even more so than video games. Probably my favorite thing to do as well. And you know what's funny? My friends who have never been to a concert do not understand what is so good about them, so I can't get them to go with me. I guess you both just have to take the time to find a hobby together.

[good-looking-geek]

Dude Red Alert 3 came out a month or 2 ago!

[punchxcore]

I'm into video games, don't get me wrong. I'm just not into the type he is. I easily sat here on my days off and played Super Mario 64 for a good hour or hour and a half. I'm just more into the games that have a point A and point B and knowing there's an end in the near future. And I really want a Wii. So it's not that I don't like video games, because I do. I just don't like those games like Halo and WoW. I liked Rock Band, that was pretty cool.. if I wasn't so horrible at it, haha.

[good-looking-geek]

I stopped playing after 3 months because it takes hours and hours of game play to get to level 80 and I would rather invest my time into a more full-filling hobby (my new hobbies are woodworking and bonsai trees). It is very difficult to get him to play less because his guild (if you don't know it's practically his team mates) might kick him off the guild (kick him off the team). That game is like a real-life dramatical relationship with your guildmates (teamates). And like any relationship you have to invest time into it to make it a healthy relationship. So he invests his time into his relationship with his guildmates.

That game is so funny how it ruins people's lives. It's a cultural phenomenon. Tell him to drop that game and occupy his time job searching.

[punchxcore]

I was talking to him on Thursday about coming down early and staying with him for a few days, and he was totally cool with it. then he was like, Friday night I have a raid scheduled in WoW. I was like, you can't seriously postpone it til another time? He was like, no it involves 10 other people. I got seriously mad. but I think he felt that because he never ended up participating in the raid while I was there or even playing it. I told him I felt like he was choosing the game over me.

[good-looking-geek]

Yeah that game is played online with his team mates. And if he doesn't play with his team mates when they schedule to do something together, they might feel betrayed. That's not a good excuse though. Because I would totally rather hang out with a pretty young girl rather than hang out with 10 other dudes (but she better be interesting to talk to). It's more about his team mates than the game itself. This game is so ridiculously funny; I'm glad I quit.

[CaptainFrost]

get a WoW account and play with him online

he can interact with you and talk to you in the game

it will be a fun surprise for him, and he will be very impressed, trust me

many girls play it with their guys for bonding. You can, especially since you are in long distance relationship

[punchxcore]

We're not together anymore, but even if we were, I could find better ways to waste money each month. Plus that game is so stupid . I tried to play it with him once and was incredibly bored.

[Kayne]

I played wow for a long time.

It does suck you in, and actually progressing in the game and getting "better" takes hours upon hours. and since it is online, other people rely on you to be there. So its a terrible thing.

Great hobby, but getting far in it takes time.

And it DOES ruin relationships. I finally saw what it was doing...and its worth it to quit.

games like halo etc you can put down any time.

That one is a bit more difficult.

[greatadvice1987]

It sounds like you have a thing for gamers.. what I would do since you guys have a LD relationship is just talk to him about it because you're happy he talks to you and everything, but that you just want to feel like he has your undivided attention. another thing, good thing its world of warcraft, and you don't have to worry about him talking to other chicks. because its only a video game.

[Mythtech]

1. There's nothing wrong with having different interests no matter how intense it is.

2. Compromise. Maybe see what you can do to join in or appreciate it more, maybe that will encourage him to do the same.

3. If a comment hurts someone. Something about it will have hit a nerve that strikes truth.
Maybe he does spend too much time. Maybe he believes that too. But don't dig too hard or else it could become a defensive issue.

[Littletad]

Gaming should be a hobby, not a lifestyle. And a healthy one at that. If he's avoiding you or starts to neglect you over his game addiction, then you've got trouble along the way.

[Masatada]

You should get him to play a good game