My boyfriend treats me like his friend?

[Anonymous]

Lets start by saying this. He doesn't have a lot of dating experience and that may be why.
But of course, there are other factors like him being an only child and he is a little spoiled so he sometimes gets selfish.
He does not compliment me or say anything sweet to make me smile.
He goes the whole day without saying hi or good morning to me at campus and he tries to apologize by giving me chocolate every time he ignores me.
He forgets to tell me that he misses me or that he loves me or that he wants me or anything along those lines.
One time we were skyping, he was playing world of warcraft the entire time and i felt disrespected. I told him how I felt and yet he still continued to play. So I began crying and he still kept on playing and didn't say sorry.
We're dating for 3 months now. I don't know what to do anymore!

[dissolute_dog]

Honestly, that doesn't even sound like a friend, let alone a romantic partner. =/ Even friends give each other compliments and say hi to each other, but more importantly they have empathy and sympathy for each other especially when they tell each other how they feel.

On the other hand, your boyfriend is lacking in all of these areas. I don't think it has much to do with being inexperienced in dating or being an only child; lots of people in those 2 categories are very affectionate. The "spoiled" part might be something, though.

I would give him a bit more time and try communicating with him more about your standpoint. You gave 3 months, so maybe allow one more month, just to give yourself a definite schedule so that you don't get dragged along too long, and to give him a chance. If he doesn't respond, then yeah you should think about leaving. A 3-4 month relationship isn't too much to back out of, if it's just not working.

OR, make a World of Warcraft character yourself on his server, as the opposite faction. Then, hunt his character down and continually gank (i. e. attack and kill) his character in game. xD

[bbch25]

That last part ^.^

I agree completely though

[Pixiefairylady]

I wanted to say this, about giving a little more communication, and letting him know how you feel but, it just reminded me if every 3 month gut instinct I've ever had, and they never worked lol... but your absolutely right :)

[dissolute_dog]

@bbch25 ^_^ I don't play anymore, but once upon a time when I did, I loved Player vs Player action. >:-D Nothing more satisfying in that game than striking down certain opposing players and emoting on them after, hahaha!

[dissolute_dog]

@Pixiefairylady Aw I'm sorry it didn't work out for you in those few-month cases. :( But I just feel that most people could use at least another chance to get things right, you know? Just a little more time. :)

[Asker]

Ouch... Well thanks, I will give him more time.
Hahaa I don't play WoW :(

[RandomBritishGuy94]

He's either a child who's playing a game or you're way more into this then he is.

"He forgets to tell me that he misses me or that he loves me or that he wants me or anything along those lines."

You don't say stuff like that unless you do. To be honest... that made you sound a little needy.

[Asker]

In my last relationship i heard those things on a daily basis. I didn't think i was being needy oops

[bbch25]

Even if he hasn't dated before, or is an only child etc. It's still not right. Even most decent humans know not to treat their friends like crap.
He ignores you, doesn't care, doesn't respect you, doesn't have any empathy for you?
I agree with Dissolute, give him another month. But don't just think it, tell him! Sit him down or write a letter so he has to acknowledge you whatever. And say, you aren't happy. He is NOT treating you even remotely acceptably. And you'll give it another month to try and start changing (doesn't have to be 100% fixed, but obvious efforts!)
Give him ideas. Tell him you respect he likes to game, and maybe compliments all the time aren't his thing. But good morning/hi, a compliment sometimes, one less gaming session or something is NOT too much to ask.

Make it clear what's wrong. Your feelings aren't wrong, they're affected by his attitude and if he cares he should want to help that.

If nothing changes then yeah, just go. Make friends with the other team in WoW and text them while you watch him play telling them where he is :P

[Asker]

I talked to him about it, he said he will compliment me once in a while and he promised to spend more time with me. I will give him about one more month and see how things have improved :)

[bbch25]

It's wrong that you have to ask for that one compliment. I tell my partner when I need him to be a bit more affectionare (my bad days), but I never have to outright ask him to actually "tell me I'm pretty for once".
I agree with others too, if he DID miss you he'd say it. Love is an iffy one, I can't say the words even though I feel them so I show them in other ways, but saying you miss someone is NOT hard.

I hope things get better or you find someone better, you sound nice :)

[Asker]

I don't consider it being wrong, I see it as being straightforward. And he does show he cares for me in other ways.
Thanks

[bbch25]

There's a difference between straight forward and general decency. If you have to ask a boyfriend to compliment you every now and then it's not right.
There's different levels and he treats you worse than most people I know would treat a stranger.

You asked for opinions, you seem strongly that you'll stay with him despite what he does though then.

[Asker]

Yes because he realized his mistake and he got mad at himself for it on the same day, I even had his friends coming to me and saying that he was sad...
Now he's a complete sweetheart

[bbch25]

As long as it sticks and he isn't doing it temporarily then I'm glad he's learnt and is being a better boyfriend and respecting you better

[btbc92]

First of all you can date and still be great friends. But it is not his job to tell you those things. He is a different person. You need to speak up and tell him what you want and need for this relationship. Don't push him or get angry. It sounds like your inexperienced in relationships too, so where can you judge him? Talk to him about your concerns and see what he says. If he doesn't want to make an effort after the talk, then drop the relationship. You don't need to tolerate it if you don't want to. But next time, figure that out before you become official and, don't jump into relationships where there is no mutual interest, and your not on the same page. Simple as that.

[Asker]

he's starting to make efforts to compliment me and call me more often. He makes sure im hapy before falling asleep which is really sweet of him.. We talked about it and he promised to compliment me more often as well

[btbc92]

@Asker That's good that he's making an effort for you. That is what you need to count. Just remember that he is not like every other guy. You started dating him for a reason because you seen something there. No matter how serious a relationship, you always need a best friend in your partner. That includes in marriage too.

[Asker]

Wow thats actually true.. Thank you :D

[mermaidrocketship]

How did you guys even start dating? I feel like you guys didn't even discuss what you each wanted from the relationship. Possibly, he's so inexperienced (and apparently has never watched any television) that he views having a girlfriend the same as having a close friendship. And you want a more serious (and sort of lovey-dovey relationship). That's fine. Whatever. But you need to talk about what each other wants.

[Asker]

One of these days I will go over to his place and possibly discuss what we want. Thanks for the advice :)

[Pixiefairylady]

Why are you with him again? Sorry didn't get that bit? I just read a bunch of things that no one wants to put up with.

If you need someone to tell you that he's an ass, I'll tell you... but I'm pretty sure you know that, and what you need to do.

Forget about him having respect for you, have some for yourself, you know you deserve better.

Do what needs to be done :)

[Asker]

I just keep telling myself that he will learn how to treat his girlfriend better. I'll give him more time and see what happens...

[Pixiefairylady]

Yes, give him more time, like the guy said below, however you're here telling us probably because your gut is telling you something isn't right, listen to that instinct cause it's usually right.

Only YOU can change, he will not change especially for you, but he will try his hardest, but if by now he was the type of guy who naturally made you feel the way you wanted it would be so... soooo the way you can change is get really good at making yourself happy. Get really good at not caring or expecting him to do the things you want, because he won't miraculously start being different, he will eventually revert to his natural state.

Your "type" is someone who is a little more touchy feely in a natural way I guess, these people are feelings people and naturally need a little ego stroking, and closeness :)

You can explain and communicate your needs and he can meet them, but if he is the way you say he is, this will be short lived, and 3 months time you will be in the same position.

[Asker]

He is definitely physically affectionate. He touches me whenever he gets a chance. I know he won't change.
Will do my best to explain! :)
Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child. Looking back I don't think I did a lot of those things EXCEPT I always wanted to talk to my girlfriend. I'd go out of my way to call/stop & talk a minute.

"he was playing world of warcraft the entire time" I agree I don't like that either.
Do what you think is best for you. By writing this I think you know :(

[Asker]

I am not thinking of ending our relationship at all. He is so perfect and we have everything in common. This is something that can be fixed, right?

[Opinion Owner]

Well, you can start to mention things like "can you pause the game?" "you look good or I like your shirt how do I look?" If that doesn't work you can be a little more aggressive & ask how come he never tells you you look good. If you like my outfit say so if not let me know.
Age & inexperience may be a factor (?)

From experience I learned these are the things girls want to hear, especially married ones.

"He goes the whole day without saying hi or good morning to me" again I don't understand that. "he tries to apologize by giving me chocolate every time he ignores me." So he knows damn well he's doing it. How do you fix that? On those days be less attentive or available.

[Asker]

Thanks for the tips and solutions :)
I will mention those things as well.

[Anonymous]

If he hasn't dated before he may not know what to do. Communicate with him and tell him what you want from the relationship. When I first dated I was overwhelmed and unsure of myself a lot in terms of what to say or do. Sometimes I wonder if my girlfriend had communicated more with me about what she wanted if maybe the relationship would've lasted longer.

[Asker]

I'm trying to guide him as much as i can..

[Opinion Owner]

That's good, don't just give up on him. However, if you guide him for a while and he's still not that into it then I think its fine to maybe start looking elsewhere.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice!

[Opinion Owner]

Glad I could help :)

[BellaLum]

Dumb his ass girl, and don't look back. He may be a nice guy and all but he needs to
1. Realize what losing you means
And 2. You should realize that there will be other guys who will treat you like a queen, I promise darling

[bbch25]

How's he even a 'nice guy'. It's one thing to not say you miss someone if you don't, it's another to completely ignore someone who's crying. I treat strangers better!

[BellaLum]

@bbch25 I agree but I mean I don't think he does it because he's evil, he's just clueless and might have some sort of social behavioral problems.

[Asker]

I don't think he has ever made someone cry before so he tried to avoid the situation completely in my opinion. And i want to give him more time and talk it over with him first :)

[Elarra]

Well, for starters, if the person you're dating forgets to tell you he misses or loves you, it's most likely because he doesn't.

Also, you're relationship sounds lame and boring. He sounds like a gamer and not like he's ready for a relationship.

[Asker]

he's a gamer, big time! but that doesn't mean he can't have a girlfriend too.. and he apologized for ignoring me and told me he loves me so im a bit better now

[TheRealCabbage]

As a boyfriend I believe he does have an obligation to do so. You shouldn't feel like you're pouring everything into him and he's not giving much back, otherwise what is the point of the relationship. He may not have much experience, but he should learn VERY fast.

[Asker]

Unfortunately he is slowly learning. He promised to compliment me once in a while :)

[Chivalrous_Guy]

Educate him on what you're after in the relationship. It costs nothing to use basic manners and acknowledge other people (especially your partner).

[TacosRAwesome]

If you have talked to him and nothing has changed then if is time to move on.

[Asker]

Girl, it's slowly changing, he promised to spend more time together and i'm getting compliments finally :)

[SteelerNation50]

how can guys like this get a girlfriend but I can't? seriously just ignores you even when you're crying WTF.

[Ashleyvee]

Girl you want someone who treats with like a girlfriend not a friend get rid of him or just don't talk to him make him wounder what has he done give him a makeup call don't talk to him make him feel the way you do and dress really sexy makeup and that make him jealous he needs to realize

[Tlnet]

So you're not really in a relationship. You're basically friends with benefits.

[Asker]

We're not having sex if that's what you're wondering.. we just go on dates and chill at his house, nothing more nothing less.

[Tlnet]

Still basically sounds like friends with benefits.

[Tlnet]

Meaning your relationship has about as much love and affection as a friends with benefits relationship.

[Anonymous]

He's not interested in keeping you as a romantic interest.

[Anonymous]

It's still new. And he's new to it. Give him time

[Asker]

Will do.

[Ahrixxa]

BUY A NEW BOYFRIEND

[Elises]

ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ hash supermarket sale 60% off let's go xD

[Lonelyteen17]

If I was him I'll pick u over a game

[August00]

He sees you as a true girl. Friend and lover.

[Asker]

explain please?

[August00]

Most guys act that way around females. But if he is acting like a friend and a girlfriend, he is 100% comfortable around you.

[Asker]

Hmmmm

[Anonymous]

he obviously doesn't wnat you

[Anonymous]

Doesn't give him sex

[Asker]

We're not having sex yet..

[Opinion Owner]

So it treat you normaly then...