Ladies, do you crave or need attention from other men even when you are in a long term relationship/married? Two part question about women

[Anonymous]

Ladies, do you crave or need attention from other men even when you are in a long term relationship/married? If so, do you choose one particular man that you want the attention from? A taken woman I work with seems some what obsessed with getting attention from me. It's nothing crazy, and pretty obvious she likes me. Is it because I give her attention? She doesn't seemingly look for it from other men, only me and will become sad and wonder why if I pull away and stop giving her attention.

Also, this same girl has tried to make me jealous numerous times by flirting with a buddy of mine in front of me. The thing is she will always look at me while she's doing it. Like she's looking for a reaction from me. It drives me nuts. Part of me gets that maybe a woman doesn't get the attention from her boy friend or husband and looks for attention from other guys. But, I don't understand why the attention from me is what she wants. To the extent of trying to make me jealous and other tactics. Does she just want to know that I like her?

[Mikew100]

This exact same situation has happened to me except I was stupid enough to fall for the girl. She has now broken up with the boyfriend he broke up with her & also didn't treat her very well that's why she must of came to me for attention. I thought we would of gotten together she seemed to really like me but she says she doesn't want or need a man & just seems to be enjoying single life. She does the same to me tries to make me jealous & gets jealous herself also gets sad & depressed if I don't talk to her will do anything to get my attention like dress sexier for work only does this when I pull back. I can't work out if she likes me & is scared of getting hurt again or just likes the attention I give her. The guys she's met afterwards & her ex are not nearly as good looking as me. I've confronted her about it all & she denies it & tells me she doesn't like me. This girl must be obsessed with the attention I give her she doesn't leave me alone in work & even comes in on her days off to see me & has even become good friends with my sister. Everybody in work thinks she likes me but I've just got a sick feeling it's the attention she likes & not me i don't t understand it because I would say I am out of this girls league. What happened in the end for you? Has anybody else been in this situation & actually gotten together with the girl?

[Kitty522]

Her relationship is obviously not satisfying or maybe he doesn't treat her well. Like they say you can't help who you like or fall for so maybe she found something in you that really attracts her. She is obviously in need of attention and just wants it from you because like I said their is something about you that she likes alot. She knows you look at her and she just wants you to show some interest in her and prove that you like her maybe even for a confidence boost. Your probably the only one that makes her feel attractive even when it comes to her boyfriend. Also why she lingers to you. She wants to prove that you like her by flirting with someone she knows you may get jealous over. It is a sticky situation, because if you do show her you like her she might try to take it to the next level and that could just be damage all around for everyone. And if you don't show interest she could at some point just forget and move on. But seeing as how you work together that could take a while.

[EntropicDecay]

I don't crave attention, but I can't say I don't enjoy it.

Even when I am with a guy, it is flattering to realize a guy has noticed you. It is a simple fact : it is flattering when someone finds you pretty/beautiful. I will not go out of my way to make other guys notice me, but I don't shy away from attention when it finds me (unless it becomes improper, then I remind them to stay away).

As for your case, I don't know what games she is playing. She may be in a relationship, it doesn't mean she can't be attracted to you. Maybe she doesn't know what she wants yet. As you said, she could also be lacking attention from her guy.

She could also be a flirt, plain and simple. She enjoys flirting, seducing and receiving attention from guys, not matter what relationship she is in.

I'd say she is attracted to you, or she sees a challenge in receiving your attention. Either way, I don't see it as something very positive about her.

[Anonymous]

She has a crush on you, it's called limerence. It's nothing to do with you really, more just that you're the object of her emotional fixation. There's every chance she's happy in her relationship, this sort of crush happens almost instantly and its formation is out of her control. She shouldn't be feeding it by trying to get your attention though, since she's already with someone.

Best thing to do is show her no emotion whatsoever, not give her any attention beyond what you have to as part of the job.

[Tigurinn2]

This is the best answer I've read to this question as of yet. Especially since it answers my own question about a girl, that act just like the question asker writes about, because she's in a relationship (which I knew of the day after I had initiated conversation with her, where she beamed with joy during our whole conversation) and now, when she's graduated and I haven't seen her in months, she puts up a profile picture of her and her boyfriend and with a heart in the caption

[Asker]

Very intrigued by this limerence. Is this common? Do women normally get this? Will showing her no emotion do anything? She usually will come back for more and it is difficult to stay away!

[Opinion Owner]

Happens for guys and girls, but some people are more susceptible than others link ... I always seem to get a case of it when I start a new job or hobby - must be more emotionally/socially vulnerable then. She will be paying great attention to your reactions to her, so any signs of interest will just escalate her feelings. It can take up to a few years for it to wear off depending how self-aware she is and whether she wants it to wear off.

[kholland65]

I didn't know there was a term for this. This makes sense. I know women tend to be far more emotionally impulsive which would mean that they would be susceptible to limerence. In my experience, every women is wired to think this way, to a degree. Women usually make their emotionally decisions quickly and impulsively and after doing so, her goal is to try and get the male to pursue her. By getting male attentions, it increases her perceived value as a woman, both for herself and to other women.

[kholland65]

Even when it comes to matters of the heart, guys are still a bit more logical and calculated. Guys rarely form crushes overnight and if they do, its usually just sexual attraction. Guys almost create the crush for themselves after they've reasoned out that this girl is a good match. It's a bit less impulsive. Then given our social dynamics and biology, this rarely manifests itself in men as attempts to get attention. Guys instead will try to "prove themselves" to women, to show he's of high valu

[Mikew100]

This exact same situation has happened to me except I was stupid enough to fall for the girl. She has now broken up with the boyfriend he broke up with her & also didn't treat her very well that's why she must of came to me for attention. I thought we would of gotten together she seemed to really like me but she says she doesn't want or need a man & just seems to be enjoying single life. She does the same to me tries to make me jealous & gets jealous herself also gets sad & depressed if I don't talk to her will do anything to get my attention like dress sexier for work only does this when I pull back. I can't work out if she likes me & is scared of getting hurt again or just likes the attention I give her. The guys she's met afterwards & her ex are not nearly as good looking as me. I've confronted her about it all & she denies it & tells me she doesn't like me. This girl must be obsessed with the attention I give her she doesn't leave me alone in work & even comes in on her days off

[Mikew100]

to see me & has even become good friends with my sister. Everybody in work thinks she likes me but I've just got a sick feeling it's the attention she likes & not me i don't t understand it because I would say I am out of this girls league. What happened in the end for you? Has anybody else been in this situation & actually gotten together with the girl?

[SunshineLelek]

Nope, actually I tend to ignore attention from other men when I'm taken because I feel like initiating or encouraging that attention opens up a gateway for cheating. In the least, emotionally cheating which may be even more hurtful than physically cheating.

I avoid other male attention because I am intensely loyal and I truly honor the relationship I am in. I find it very disrespectful and inappropriate to be acting like some single, thirsty (in your case with this female practically begging for you to notice her) female when I have given a man my word that we are exclusive.

[Anonymous]

My first marriage my husband never even told me I was pretty...not ever. He didn't say negative things, just absolutely nothing...except "you look fine, let's go." So, yes, needed validation that I was attractive to men at that time. There were other problems in that relationship so after being lonely in a marriage, I divorced.(And NOT because he didn't compliment me!)

I have an incredible relationship with my husband now. I don't care if other men give me attention or not. I've got a best friend that finds me pretty kick ass!

Either she's an attention whore (which can be draining to say the least!) or she's not very happy in her relationship. Either way her intentions could mean a big mess for you...so be careful!

[Crazy_beautiful1422]

First of all, not all women seek attention from other men while in a relationship. It depends heavily on the health of the relationship and on the characteristics of the people in it as well. Some people can be trusted, and some can't. But, this woman isn't doing anything (from what I've read anyway) that constitutes cheating, so I'll get on with it. Attention from men is nice, but if she is feeling particularly attracted to you, then there is probably something more going on than just innocent flirting. But that could be a recipe for disaster for all parties involved. The fact that she acts like this, and even purposely tries to make you jealous by flirting with other men, suggests that she isn't a very trustworthy person and gets off on seeing other men want her, but not able to have her. I think you should steer clear of the situation, but it's your life and your choice. Just be careful.

Hope this helps and good luck.

[Asker]

First of all, you are extremely attractive. Second of all, I agree with most of what you said. Isn't love at first sight possible? I feel like she feel for me when we first met. I think she is trying to make me jealous to get my attention.

[Tigerbaby994]

Usually the only guy I crave attention from is the guy I'm dating. If he's not willing to give it, I'll be too concerned with the realization that our relationship is ending rather than looking for it elsewhere. Only when I am single and ready will I look for it from other men, and eventually choose to have it just from one.

[PinkAcid]

same ^

[simplythebest]

No I wouldn't want attention from men when I'm in a relationship. If a taken women is flirting with u, then I would say two things. number one, she isn't happy in her current relationship and she's looking for validation elsewhere. Number 2, she finds you attractive and noticed you were giving her attention, so she thought you would be the person to focus on in order to feel validated.

[eveline]

In general Girls are like men when it comes to attention and feeling wanted by more than one person ; we are all from the same species after all , right. There are a few people who don't need even some times don't want attention from the ops site sex when in a relationship

[Enideqa]

No I don't personally, it actually makes me pretty uncomfortable when I get too much attention from another man, a little doesn't bother me.

Well I know one married women who did this type of stuff, she just liked to play with me, she said it was fun, like a kind of game she plays. Not sure that this girl is like this or not maybe she is the cheating type or very dissatisfied in her relationship. Hard to say.

[Anonymous]

I don't. That's one of the things I love about having a boyfriend ... I can just be myself without having pressure to relate to guys in a man-woman kind of way.

This particular chick may be a cheating bitch and trying to set up something on the side. I'd stay away from that drama.

[Cherophobicqueen]

If you give the woman enough space, she will seek attention elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Of course we do but men are the exact same way but for men its usually for a sexual reason which is far more shallow.

[Cyhhgg]

Its kinda stupid to compare what's more shallow when in the case of using someone for sex or emotional security. Either way its shallow and either way its wrong. What men do isn't that much more bad than what men do and you princesses' ought to realize this.

[BrunetteNYC]

Yes and men do the same thing LOL