How do I tell my boyfriend that I want to date other people?

Question

Ok, I have been dating my boyfriend for two years, but now I just really want to get out of this relationship without hurting our friendship. Our relationship has been pretty stable up until several weeks ago when we broke up and I attempted to date someone else. Anyway the guy I was dating did not work out and I ended up getting back with my long term bf. Me and my boyfriend have an excellent friendship ect. but the fact of the matter is I am just not that into him anymore. My boyfriend loves me to death and it has been hard over the past month trying to explain to him that I no longer have those feelings for him like I did before. I feel as though I have contradicted my desires to be with another person in order to try a last attempt to make our relationship work. I feel really drained of my relationship and I really want to start dating other people. My boyfriend on the other hand is clingy and does not want to accept the fact that I am not in love with him. How do I tell him that I want to date other people?

sarah0398 · Accepted Answer

If you tell your boyfriend that you are into someone else.than he will learn to move on. If you tell him that you just don't want to be with him anymore, he is going to think that he can somehow get you back in the long run. I've learned this in relationships.you can't get over someone if they are breaking up with you because they are just not ready.but if you find out that they want to be with someone else and try a relationship with them.than it is easier to get over them.  For some reason it just gives them a sense that there is nothing they can do to change your mind if you already like someone else and helps them find closure knowing there isn't any possibility that you may call back in a day.Let him know that you found someone else.even if you just want to date other people and haven't actually found someone you are wanting to date.he will still hurt of course but the heart heals much quicker for some reason.Think of it this way if a guy breaks up with you and says to never txt him again.wouldnt you get over him quicker knowing that he doesn't want anything to do with you as oppose to him saying its over but I still want to be friends.youll be tempted to txt him all the time.if he tells you not to.you wont. it will be sooner for you to move on right?

wounded · Accepted Answer

Well I just write down 2 guidelines I try to follow myself. Maybe it helps?

1. You do not push away someone who loves you

- if you have to let someone down who loves you, then you do not cause him extra hurt by dragging other guys in front of him while he's trying to understand what happened to him -

2. You do not exchange people

- I think this is not respectful for both the guys and for yourself. You may make a mistake - The only way of keeping him as a friend is being honest and giving him some time.

Rebel28 · Accepted Answer

If you ever cared anything at all about this guy, this is what you have to do. You need to just end it. If you aren't prepared to be with him and only him in the relationship, you need to cut all ties with him. The whole idea of you two preserving your friendship would be awesome if wanting to end the relationship was mutual. He cares a lot about you. But if you really don't feel that for him anymore, trying to keep him as a friend would be the most selfish thing you could ever do.

You need to not have any contact with him at all, and time will eventually heal it and he will be able to move on and be happy. Your friendship isn't salvageable because he won't ever be able to see you without feeling something for you. Things just don't work like that . Don't be unrealistic. If you care any about this guy's future happiness, you know what you need to do.

gag10 · Accepted Answer

you break it off.  ultimately you can't control whether he still wants or is able to be friends after.that's something that may work or may not.  you'll have to wait and see.

kevin-camron · Answer

clingy? then you make him unclingy by way of ur attitude and approaches to his feelings and actions

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