Guys just don't invest much in women like they used to.

Women are primarily to blame for this one. In the social sphere, it’s women who have changed the rules in the last 40 years, not men. Men have retreated from the positions we once held for the sake of equality, and this is largely a good thing. Nevertheless, it is women who have failed to adapt to the new reality, not men.

It’s laughable that women think they’ve “made it too easy” on guys. This is true only if ‘easy’ means having to wade through a morass of mind games and emotional hang-ups to try to form a meaningful relationship. Yes, women will have casual sex more readily now than in the past, but young women are generally so emotionally stunted that you’d think they were war veterans suffering from PTSD. They’ll f*ck you tomorrow, but they’ll never be honest or vulnerable with you in a million years. Instead, they prefer to seek personal validation by playing games with various guys. The men who are emotionally lost themselves—the bad boys—thus become the pinnacle of attraction to young women. After all, the bad boy will never demand honestly from her when he’s being disingenuous himself.

In all of this, the normal, non-dramatic dude is left to wonder what the hell is going on. You chase a girl and you’re suddenly too needy. You don’t chase a girl and suddenly you’re a lazy loser who lacks the balls to pursue women. In the end, the normal dude just gets tired of the games and cashes out. It’s easier and cheaper (emotionally and monetarily) to avoid women and spend your time doing something you enjoy. Men are truly tired of the inequality in relationships, of having to incessantly prove things to women. We love women, but as we mature we realize that there isn’t a woman in this world for whom it’s worth compromising one’s dignity and self-esteem.

Hey, I don't usually write an answer to questions with these many answers, but I like your question! So I'll write something here.

I feel the same as you, that it's the girls now who are chasing the guys, I agree with your reasoning on this. I'm feeling that guys are no longer as decisive when it comes to relationships, and pretty much leave it to the girls to make things happen.

I don't think it's because girls make it too easy, if anything it's the guard/shield girls put on that repel men. But that's normal, and that guard is necessary. You do it unconsciously (or consciously), but that's the way it's always been. The men of old had the same issue, but they pressed on. I don't think girls have ever been easy on guys, until very recently, I don't think it's in a female's nature to throw themselves at guys easily.

If you can see the difference between what men are doing in today's age compared to a couple of decades ago, you will see that men are no longer what they used to be. The nature hasn't changed, as it remains the same with women; the nurture did. Men today are much more "feminine" in their nature. Being the passive one in the relationship, not going after girls, etc. Guys having manicure, too nervous to even walk up to the opposite sex, etc. There are A LOT more guys you'd label "shy" now than you would find in, let's say, the 80's.

Guys are not chivalrous anymore; I mean, I don't think women ever expected men to do it; they may have in the past because it was norm for real gentlemen to do chivalrous things. Then the social change, I call the feminization of men, began to happen, and men stopped doing it, then the females just don't expect the guys to do that type of things.

I do feel what kids are taught in school and hollywood, among other factors, contribute a lot to the feminization of American men. Can you name one example of how a guy is

There are plenty of highly educated women out there that realize that when dealing with a proper man:

Chasing a man isn't throwing themselves but realizing that women F up too and need to take responsibility to fix it with the man. AND THAT IS OK!

That not saying "I'm leaving" but instead taking an honest stand as an adult to say "I need to know that you care and don't want to lose me" isn't making it too easy.

That a woman's body isn't a "prize" to be bought or won. Instead sex is a mutual showing of your love and passion for each other.

Why would a man want someone that says hurtfull things they don't mean to get attention? That considers their body to be of more importance than his?

That considers their feelings more important than his?

I expect my life long partner to be just that, a partner, not someone I have to invest into like the stock market. She wants me; I want her. A private trade.

Women are still chasing equality and I agree they should have it in relationships just as much as in the social/economic realm.

Equality of the chasing, giving, dumping, responsibility, love, satisfaction, and pain.

"During a seminar I did with black men and women, the men decided to express to the women some things that they had never had a chance to say. So the men started expressing their pain and disappointment. They started expressing how they feel about not being accepted for who they are, for not having their struggle recognized, for having the women respond to them in very self-centered ways where the women were only talking about what they needed, what they wanted. 'You want, want, want, want all the time. Can't you see that I'm working with very limited resources? I'm doing the best I can...' And as they were in the midst of talking about that, the women _lit_ into them. I mean they _fired_ at them! the women started screaming and yelling at them, 'How dare they be so insensitive and uncaring! And all the kinds of foul statements that can be made. And the men shut down. They shut down. They couldn't say another word."

Audrey Chapman, author and therapist, quoted in Jack Kammer's "Good Will Towards Men"

Girls are the most difficult beings on the planet for boys to analyze as against boys.

Your body language is really very hard to decipher. Even Dr. Albert Einstein's theory of relativity is not this hard.

Even if a girl stares at you longer than usual, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is interested in you. She is probably admiring your physique, you hairstyle, your clothes, & so on.

Simultaneously it may mean that she is interested in you. (A huge turn-off for me).

Likewise, when a girl looks away, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is not interested in you. Probably your presence makes her nervous enough to look elsewhere. Simultaneously it may mean that she does not like you ! (What a crap !)

Even if she compliments or praises you, it may not mean that she is interested in you. She is just being a good friend with you that's all. Simultaneously, it may also mean that she likes you. (Another turn - off! gah !)

As you can see, all the possibilities are equally likely. So, why should a guy waste his time thinking unnecessarily about the girl ?

I am 25 and I have never went chasing a girl due to the above said reasons.

why would guys waste time chasing and being chivalrous to girls when they get no reward? We have no patience anymore, and if you're making us chase you for ages we can now find girls that won't take as long to come around. Not that these are always the best girls, but we live in a day where we can get a cute girl quickly and easily, so to us it really doenst make logical sense to chase women.

The only guys that do that are ones who don't have many options for whatever reason

guys who do that kind of stuff hardly ever get the girl over a guy who doesn't chase , but can entertain.

the guys who all the women are attracted to don't need to chase because they usually have plenty of options.

Lets be real, there are plenty of guys chasing women, but you're thinking only of guys who you are attracted to. You're not counting the fat guy that hangs around your friends sometimes who keeps trying his luck, or the guy who you met in the club who keeps sending you texts.

Guys who are attractive and have options don't chase because its handed to them already. And these are the guys you want to chase you.

dont discount all the guys who have :

tried to talk to you

tried to ask you out

tried to call you

tried to get your number/email

Theres a lot of chasers out there.

I would even go as far to say that most guys on this site are chasers, but guys can't be arsed

to chase someone when he he can get someone else just as good without the extra hassle

theres almost no difference between the girl that went out with us first time we asked and the one who went out with us 7 months after we asked

SUCH a good question, I'm flattered that you took the time to notice this!

Reciprocity is key for me, if I feel like I have to keep chasing her and I get nothing in return. In other words, she takes and doesn't give back, I don't really feel the need to keep chasing her when I could put my interest elsewhere. Do you know what I mean?

Let me put it this way, now that women have become more independent they have the freedom to leave a guy whenever she wants to - for whatever reason that might be. I am not upset about this fact, I think it's great that women don't feel dependent on men. More power to you.

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I understand most women enter relationships with a lot of insecurities and it's overlooked a lot. Reciprocity is key, and we don't really have a reason to keep giving with nothing in return.

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This depends. If you smother us, we run. If you give us too much of a chase, we leave. You've go the right idea though. Guys do need a chase to keep coming back. My golden rule is: "Don't go hunting, go fishing." Give a little, then let him come back for more. Don't make him keep chasing, it bores him and makes him think you don't appreciate him

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This all depends on the guys experience with women. If he has trust issues, chances are, he's waiting for someone to break that for him. If he is used to being catered, he doesn't want a chase, he can find another girl that will throw herself at him. If he knows how to keep the girl coming back, he doesn't feel the need to persue her. Seek out mature men, it sounds like you're on the right path. I'm glad you recognize this, rather than deny it

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Naw, it's not ALL your fault! It's a matter of finding a balance between the two extremes. Throwing yourself at him and giving nothing in return for his good efforts.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask

Best

Brian

Well a lot has happened with gender relations in the last 50 years. Woman have gained a lot of independence but there are some by products to this event. We no longer interact with females as our mates but as our equals. This eliminates the whole process of "the chase". It is a two way street now where men and women have to both put in an effort, where the old days a woman put on a pretty dress and hoped Mr. Right would come along. It's really interesting because woman are our competitors these days as well. They are competing for the same jobs and jockeying for power in our social groups. The risk of chasing woman has increased because the social consequences have as well. Me hitting on a secretary in the 50's was called flirting, me hitting on a secretary now is called sexual harassment. Than you throw in dealing with extreme feminists and it just gets ugly. Essentially the modern world has become a pylon of social standing (comparing Facebook friends). People don't chase but more or less gravitate towards complimentary mates. Two men and women of equal social status and equal values are going to recognize each other and almost mutually agree to escalate the relationship. It just takes the cream off the pudding when a man who is a janitor asks out a woman who's an investment banker.

No I don't, it's just too painful. Equality of sexes, yeah right, you like sitting on your ass and shoot down one after another to get your ego boosts. Evrytime it's like trying to disarm a nuclear bomb, everytiome a different bomb, so many steps involved, so much panic, and more often than not, after a lot of work it explodes. Then I have to start it all over again, it's painful, annoying and I'm just giving up. It's like dealing with spoiled brats, unpredictable and just ready to cry for any thing.

I want ice cream

There you go, here's the icecream.

But it's too cold, too pink, I wanted the other flavour, or the one from the other shop because there's better etc., and also you're too boring predicatble don't give me a challenge are a needy wussy etc

Next time

I want ice cream

nope

You're a self-centered egotistic insensitive bastard who doesn't care about me

No matter what I do, chances are I'm gonna be considered wrong, I'll be rejected and will stay alone anyway. So if I have to stay alone, why bother having the pain of rejection too? I lose whichever way

The pleasure of wanting to stay with you is largely overshadowed by the fact that you're lazy, spoiled and a pain in the ass

The Ludwig Boltzman Institude in Vienna, Austria did a huge study of dating, marriage and relationships. This study went on for years, with thousands of people of different races, nationalities and religions. Here's what the study found:

You know the thermostat on your wall that controls the house's temperature? The study found that women are the thermostat of a relationship. An institute spokesman said, "you can predict male behaviour by female behaviour, but not the other way round." (Quoted in the 14 Jan 2001 issue of New Scientist magazine.)

This means that women have a hell of a lot of power to make or break a relationship. It might sound like that's a question of "blame", but the subject is far more complex. In summary, the study discovered that men are generally _very_ easy to please. We're rather like puppies: we want to play, we want a belly rub, we want a treat occasionally; and we really, really, really want your praise and kindness and will act a little stupid to make you laugh. We respond a lot better to positive reinforcement (praise and rewards) than to negative reinforcement (yelling, complaints and nagging). If women treat men like puppies, they'll respond like puppies: with complete loyalty, dedication and hard work until we die. But if women treat men with counterproductive negative complaints, disrespect and headgames, men will act like naughty dogs and pee all over everything, bark all night and hump anything that moves.

So if men aren't chasing women, it's mostly because women have altered their thermostat so they're too hot or too cold for comfort. And if men aren't chasing women, it's because they're expecting to housetrain us not with positive rewards, but will negative feedback.

Well first off, I'm a rather passive male, and no this doesn't make less of a man, I just am not the sort of over confident uber alpha male you usually encounter. I very much like to make it very clear to a woman I might be interested in that she always has a choice if she wants to see me. I will force no woman into submission for anything, it's just not how I'm wired. If a woman is to be with me it's because she wants to be, and even if we have been together for an extended period of time and she chooses to leave me, while it would definitely hurt me I would let her exercise her choice and let her go. I must admit with my being passive I like to be pursued, but not because I'm lazy, but because I like knowing she is interested, it removes all doubt. Once I know she is interested I most definitely participate in the pursuit, I respond so she knows I'm interested too, but I'm all about subtlety and patience. You might work next to me for 3 years and never even know I'm there and then all of a sudden you realize there is more to me than meets the eye.

girls have too much power plain and simple. not being sexest, just talking real terrain dynamics here. on any given night out a girl in a club has probably got twice as much social power as the next dude. why? numbers, guys are expected to make the first move, women have what the guy is chasin! so . why should a guy give his power away. whatever women say the minute its clear a guy likes you without you having earnt it what does that say. he's after you withought knowing you, without knowing if its mutual, and he has less value than that next dude who ain't interested. plus it puts a lot of pressure on the relationship, ie he expects and you will consexualise every little remark he makes. point being f*** it. why play that game. too many guys get prick teased in bars by girls who collect nuts like jewelery. its bullsh*t. sooo women will have to learn to chat up guys! which ain't as easy as it sounds. you may have a whole knew appreciation for the other side when you run out of words in a cold approach!

the greatest weapon against getting played is girls who are genuinely nice. not stupid but genuine and nice. also happy either way but interested in what your saying, what your story is. don't play games be genuine. it has hidden power.

Well, this thread may be deceased at this point and the conversation definitely got confused but given what I read I felt I should weigh in especially with all the "guys are cowards" sort of comments.

There were two interpretations of what you asked: why don't guys approach girls anymore (which I've seen some other girls on here asking about) and why don't guys try to convince a girl to stay in a relationship when she says she's leaving (which I think is what you really meant once you clarified things).

What no one's talked about is the label "creepy" and how girls say guys are but shouldn't be it. I asked a question on this site a little while ago: Girls is it OK to approach you in a bookstore, etc. if we are strangers to each other or is it just "creepy"? I asked the question because everything and I mean stuff on TV, online, newspapers and personal conversations with girls had me convinced that girls label that sort of behavior as antiquated, chauvinist stuff that they hate and won't put up with anymore.

The same thing applies to trying to convince a girl who says she's leaving to stay. Girls are constantly claiming that that makes you a caveman or a _STALKER_. I wish I was kidding but I'm not. I have listened to female friends describe TV shows where the guy knows the girl is the only one for him and pursues her as clear cut cases of _stalking_ and NOT romance.

When you originally said you blamed girls, I immediately agreed but not for being "too easy" and willing to have sex but for labeling this sort of behavior as psycho.

Guys don't chase girls much anymore because girls don't want it and won't tolerate it.

Well, this may be way different than a lot of other answers but...NO, its not easier...its harder than EVER! girls seem really hard to impress these days. And boys are not given the same respect we were back in the day. Girls mock us and think we stupid morons who think with our penis. We're taught that all our desires are bad. Not to mention, girls in general are more successful than guys in general. Girls go to school more, and boys just don't think we can impress you anymore. At least that's what I've seen. I mean, I'm not picky...I think 90% of girls are what I'd call "attractive"...there is very few girls I would say are "ugly" (and I hate myself for thinking that about some). But yea...you girls are just hard to impress. And we feel inadequate and npot up to par anymore. We know that you could easily do without us or just get some other " better" guy if we don't meet your expectations. It's not women's fault though. Women are just more successful and don't wana be with people who aren't on their level. If men can start doing better in school mayeb it'll balance out, but not likely. It isn't like back in the day when being a boyfriend, husband father, was a big deal and where women felt a strong connectio to men. Nowadays the man is a disposable underachiever.

Well here's the way I automatically think about it. If a woman communicates her disinterest and walks away, my upbringing (which I guess you could call "progressive") tells me pretty clearly that to ignore what she says and pursue her further would be the same thing as trying to cancel out her hard-won authority to make her own choices. It tells me that it would disrespect her by effectively declaring, "Choose all you want, babe, but I'm the man and you're going to do what I say." And by implication that sure seems like it's disrespecting all women, and basically makes me feel like sexist scum. I don't like being scum, and I don't like the idea of minimizing the legitimate gains that women have made over the past several decades.

The guys who chase look to me to be the ones who have decided that disrespecting her, and being turned into scum, are worth the price. And I can actually see their point -- women who play the game and expect to be chased around don't seem to take any positive action of their own, so only the guys who play the game have much of a chance. Doesn't any woman who encourages the chase and encourages chasers, reinforce all of that? Am I the only one who sees that as a contradiction?

I have a few ideas that I'm going to suggest like they are truth, but the truth is that I have noticed what you are talking about and I don't know the answer. This was my philosophy back when I was looking for a woman:

I wanted a woman for the long haul. There isn't much about me or anyone else that isn't subject to change over a large span of time. Anyone who knew after 5 seconds of interaction or a glance across a room that I wasn't what they wanted was being, well, foolish. (Not because I was necessarily wonderful but just because I knew they couldn't possibly know anything meaningful one way or the other from that amount of contact.) I guess what I am saying is that if she wasn't both open-minded and interested enough in finding a good mate to make it at least non-painful for me to get to know her better, she was most likely not what I wanted.

I guess you could say that I felt that if I had to chase, I was chasing someone who wasn't realistic enough to be long-term partner material.

I am not sure where the blame if any lies? I do know that I have over the years always had been the aggressive one in seeking a girl! It is true that toady more and more women are taking control and even feminizing their Husbands! Many women have lost that femininity that makes men wild! It's more about controlling men and what they do! I let my wife feminize me after I had discovered she was covertly spiking my beverages with hormones! Many of the guys I know from work are in their 20's and 30's said they only seem to find women who are "Gold Diggers" Just wanting a guy to spend money on them or do favors of labor for them! (Fix car,or paint or move furniture etc,) Women are taking the pursuit game and just shunning men more and more! Men in turn are becoming complacent about the "Chase" The Challenge" because of being used and or discouraged (turned down)! Understand, this is not a testimonial to men in general but to those I have had conversations about this subject. Be yourself and be open to some flirting and machoism! It's basically the nature of men! Take that away and the need becomes suppressed more and frustration give way to ignoring!

I HATE chasing women when it comes to, I like you, or do I? no I don't.. I want to be with you... basically making me play the chase game along with mind games.

However, I love a challenge. I am currently 19, and am seeking this 38 year old women whos in my first aid class. She was in my Bio class last semester and she sat by me. Yesterday was our first day this semester in first aid, and we had a different room than what it said on our schedule. So the professor had me stand out in the hall making sure everyone who is taking first aid, they get to the right spot. I was a bit shock to see this milf that was in my Bio class to be in my first aid class as well but boy did that get me excited. I had my books in already in the classroom while I was directing the other students. When I finally got back into class I saw that this woman sitting right next to where I had my books. First thing I said to her when I sat down was, You would know where I was sitting. Her response was, Yeah, I'm stalking you. She said it in a joking way not a flirting way. She is twice my age so 99% chance that she thinks of me as a little kid and not someone she could ever be attracted too but still. That's the challenge. Girls my own age, hell women in their mid to late 20's these days aren't really hard to get in a relationship with. But this 38 year old woman is really hard, I can't figure her out. So I am not really playing a chase game, and guys in general never have really liked playing the chase game.. We just like something that's worth a challenge. I was going to say what best answer has said, but there's really no point of me saying what someone else said already... so that's why I told you this story.

Personally, it's because many (not all) women in this society are messed. You have to deal with body image issues, low self-esteem, etc. Also, women are not very feminine, which I think accounts for a lot of the reasons why men won't "invest much in women". What I mean by feminine is that you can easlily find a lot of women these days that are heavy drinkers, pot-smokers, swear, have bad manners, bad attitudes, etc. Add on top that the relationship will probably die like all her relationships before. Is this what a real man would to invest a relationship in?

"Do you think its because we make it too easy for ya'll? there's no real challenge?"

It's easy for the players, they try not to make it look like they are "chasing" after someone so they appear high-value. And of course they would never invest a penny on a women.

I don't think it's that easy as you say, except for sluts who want to get laid. If it's too challenging than a man simply won't waste his time and move on. Usually dorks end-up putting more effort into chasing after that one girl.

I'm sorry, did you say easy? If it's so easy, why don't I get anything? I wasted my entire college career trying to be social and at least feigning interest so I could get something and all I got were two girls whom I didn't like per my taste, one being a divorced mother and the other being a fat girl who tried to commit suicide before she came to college. And I'll admit, I'm quiet, have a serious demeanor and don't really like to socialize much, but I've seen guys who were way uglier than me and they still had girlfriends, so apparently being social and "putting yourself out there" is what gets you noticed. Again, if being social, friendly and fake is what I have to do to get a woman's attention, I really do prefer being alone than making myself miserable by surrounding myself with generic "fun" people who get on my nerves and doing activities that I just don't see the fun in. Sex and an emotional relationship just aren't worth the tedious, social effort, where everybody is always talking about lame topics, putting on fake smiles, laughing at jokes that clearly aren't funny and saying "hey we should meet up sometime" just out of courtesy and then not really keeping your word. In my experience, people are liars in general, but women end up being just a little worse. Easy my black ass.

I did a little research...

According to more than 200 scientific studies from all over the world, women are *more* likely than men to use physical aggression against a spouse/partner. Men inflict *slightly* more injuries than women. But overall -- when you count all the shoving, hitting, biting, slapping and so on -- women do more of it, do it more often, and do it first. More info here: link

And Polaris80 linked to a scientific study showing what women commit more emotional abuse.

You really want to know why men don't chase girls?

Perhaps because:

-you're *more" likely to abuse us emotionally,

-*more* likely to abuse us physically

-*more* likely to file for divorce when we've not cheated or abused you,

-and *more* likely to get custody and alimony, no matter what you've done.

A few thoughts:

-Girls can expect too much from guys. We can chase, but they never give us a reward (I don't mean sex), so we give up on her.

-Girls sometimes aren't worth chasing. I don't want to compete with half-a-dozen other guys for her attention, or chase a girl who'll dump me when I "catch" her and she gets bored.

-If girls have sex too early, lots of guys have no reason to chase her.

-Many women have an attitude that they don't owe the man anything, but he owes her the world. The Princess mentality. And I sure don't want to chase a girl who'll make my life a living hell.

If you have the time to read all of this girls responses to some men who answered her question you will find out that she has a boyfriend. Why would a girl who already has a boyfriend be interested in guys to chase her as she includes herself as, "We woman"? LOL I think she's just answered her own question and proved what type of a person she really is! Then the end part of her question she recedes back to her comfort with other woman as a whole, "I blame us" instead of herself as an individual. She try's to divert your attention onto all woman in general which means she is a very poor representative of her kind. When it comes to finding a relationship men aren't playing a game. I am a man and I am very very strong so my mind is not your toy to be messed with. Men who do not chase woman have control over themselves, they are not lazy. I am not lazy. I work my fingers to the bone and have broken bones so you do not have to go through what I go through. Get it? That is why you are pretty. Eventually someone is going to lose control. The instant you take it to far and the one who defends you ends up with broken bones all men will continue to fight endlessly and those would ultimately end up as your broken bones. A shift in financial power only gives woman a false sense of strength and ability to support themselves. Woman want men to chase them because they are over estimating themselves. Just how woman hate cocky men, that is exactly how cocky you appear to us.

Wow, popular topic. Partly this is the result of changing cultural attitudes toward dating (see Spelunker's reference below and other research studies), but I don't think that's the whole story.

For me and many other guys, it's simple. "The chase" consists mostly of waiting for phone calls, competing with other guys, and telling you how awesome we are. Those of us who are neither narcissists nor secretly gay think this is boring. If I wanted these things, I'd work at a call center, join a sports league, and start a blog, respectively.

If I ask a girl on a date, it's because I want to go to parties with her, eat dinner together, argue about movies, trade stories about growing up, make out on her couch, and have sex with her. To me, these things are more fun than acting out some kind of junior high school chase sequence.

You're right, women are the reason. Women are the biggest of hypocrites. "What's wrong with him..?" Well frankly, you the woman are what's wrong, you the woman with double standards are the cause for all your problems. Men for the longest time have to learn and adapt to the stupid game.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Finances play a huge role in courtship and always will so long as a man is expected to pay, because we only earn so much. And women what do they do, leech on free dates, dinners, gifts. As a man managing finances, it's kinda stupid to want to chase a woman, paying for dinners all the time. Most men can just get a hot escort for sex, the price of that is equal to maybe two nice dinners. Personally I don't think woman can hold "sex" as bait anymore unless they are really hot. There are plenty of hot girls that will offer sex straight up, they are called escorts.

Men want a woman who knows how to be effeminate. We like girls that know how to be cute, girlie and playful as well as strong and independent in their work life. I'll go far and say that men should want a woman that will offer to pay her half, and she can thank all the feminists before her that have shaped the way for that. You are a woman that doesn't want to pay her half on dinners, and you still want men to chase you around? Good luck.

Firstly Id like to thank you for putting the blame on women instead of just being a guy basher. Yes, I believe women today are just too easy. Making a guy wait for marriage for sex is not even an option anymore, now girls think they're hard to get if they wait until the 3rd date, with most not even lasting past the first.

A guy puts as much worth into something as to how difficult it was to get it. He puts a lot into his car because he put ALOT of money that he had work for, into it. If he gets into a girls pants after a $40 meal, then what does that say to him about her?

So I completely agree with you, guys are not investing time and energy into girls because they have become just too easy.

Yes, but not because of what you think. There are many factors, but having "women throwing themselves" at us is most definitely NOT one of them! That just DOES NOT HAPPEN, unless you're a rock star or something, no, the reasons are these:

1-Young people today "myself included" have the attention span of a cabbage.

2-We are also lazy.

3-You girls wanted equal rights? well, you got'em, now pay the consequences.

4-Hot, scantily clad girls are EVERYWHERE, TV, Magazines, Videogames, Intrawebz, there is no "mistery anymore.

5-I would list more reasons, but 1 and 2 are starting to kick in...

Having been raised under a feminist environment, it has been drummed into me and others of my generation, that "no means no". As such, if you go for a girl, and she does not reciprocate, I take it as a no, and do not pursue the matter further. More, some colleges and work places now consider it "sexual harassment" to engage in any unwanted behavior that can be considered to have some sexual nature -- as courting can be. Doing otherwise (not taking no as an answer and seeing it as just a "challenge") is seen as being a stalker and a potential rapist these days, so us men leave it for the women to do the chasing now. Be careful for what you ask for, you may get it.

Equal rights is the problem. lol what you are asking for is chivary. To have a guy chase you, and have to fight for you, and buy you things, and genuinely work to get you. Not dissin on womens rights... but I honestly feel like that is the problem. Women are taking an equal stance to men in more and more areas, including dating. For people who like the chivalry, it is sad, and you will get your expectations smashed. There are still plenty of guys I know who like to go back to that now. For the 21st century.. the way it used to be is now called playing hard to get. Its not dead, just corrupted and stomped upon.

actually many girls are very confused and tend to play games. you'll find many guys play games as well. As it turns out...guys don't wanna invest time into a girl if he knows she's a headcase. He could be spending his time elsewhere to find a girl who knows what she wants. vice versa, too. There are so many fish in the sea...

I had a girl stand me up twice and it turns out she was confused...I mean I didn't wanna be mean, but I went on my way and she keeps chasing me. She had her shot, she's playing hard to get. I'd rather waste my energy on a girl I was truly attracted to that thought the same way about me.

I wouldn't say I was raised under a feminist environment, but near as I can tell, much of this stems from the fact that women have many more rights than they used to, including the right to choose exactly who they talk to, go out with, break up with, marry, or divorce. Of course that isn't a bad thing, but guys seem to assume this means that women have given a lot of thought to exactly what they want, and thus should not be afraid to go after it if they see it, which many people from both genders have difficulty doing. So, guys wind up sitting back and thinking that since none of these women are displaying any interest, they might as well not go for what may likely be a lost cause, saving himself some awkward moments.

We have a had social change over the last twenty years. A large amount of the "chase" has been made pathologic. Chasing a woman could get you a sexual harassment suit or even a restraining order. In fact, even discussing sex or sexuality is considered a hostile environment.

In that atomosphere, there isn't a lot of room for pursuing a woman once she says "no". On the first "no", I generally walk away. It's just a better bet.

It could be that we have better things to be doing.

Why is there a chase?

What does this statement say about YOUR ego?

"I feel girls are chasing guys now that guys have lost that want to pursue or chase us when we leave."

Maybe YOUR attitude has something to do with guys not chasing you.

Water under the bridge is water under the bridge. Maybe they guys that you surround yourself with have realized that you just want the chase and you're trying to play mind games with them. Maybe they've decided that the JUICE isn't worth the squeeze.

From personal experience.. I stopped really working hard at chasing girls because majority think they're all that. Turn you down because they think of body and looks before personality. There is a lot of things that girls do now that make a guy turnoff. A lot of things to girls now are programmed. Then you have girls who like to cheat or get even more attention then they already have. Before me I used to take a girl out to dinner and movie. If she was special id bring some flowers, The old school stuff. But now things like that don't really work. Its not completely the woman's fault its also the guys. because a lot of them make girls insecure or put them on the offensive. With cheating treating them wrong stuff like that. Why is it though that some girls turn down guys before getting to know the person inside? and Why is it some guys refer to woman as a item a "thing" not a person

Guys figured out that girls actually don't like sex so they simply stopped trying. Men everywhere have learned that just inside a girls hole their nerve endings can't feel anything. Trust me: it's no coincidence that girls say size doesn't matter. The ultimate size for a girl is zero...(you got to wonder why evolution didn't favor a male appendage above the shaft that vibrated and rubbed on the clit during sex...though I digress) Don't believe me? All you got to do is look around. Girl on girl sex is getting more common...and not coincidentally guys are getting into anal (to the hatred of women everywhere) because instinctively some guys know that soon enough they'll have to turn to other guys when ladies have no sexual need for dudes. Sure evolution will keep the dude around, but since one guy could populate an entire country with a teaspoon of ejaculation, they'll only need a couple of selective sad straight dudes for insemination purposes only.

I'm honestly chasing someone for the first time in years, and I do admit, I feel a little weird about it. It's so new to me all over again.

But I can answer why men don't chase girls as much. Obviously, men are no longer becoming enticed by the idea of chasing a women. Playing mind games and working their way towards a relationship is now a daunting thought. It's costly, tiring, and sometimes a financial disaster if it doesn't work out. More and more, guys are more interested in finding a girl that leads to easier sex. Less work, less time, and more fun.

However, sometimes, it is indeed worth it. But it's incredibly rare in my opinion.

Well, it's not that we don't chase girls anymore. We do. Only, we tend to not chase the popular girls.. Guys learn that the incredibly popular girls let it go to their heads, and they end up taking advantage and taking the p*ss afterwards. Whether they mean to or not, is another story.

I, myself, have never liked very many people that I've met in person that way. Maybe I'm different from everyone else, but then again, maybe I'm on the popular side. The only ones I've asked out myself have said no, and, I've only ever met one girl I've actually liked AND gone out with (Still am going out with her).

Hope that helps!

Honestly I don't bother chasing girls. When girls play hard to get or if they want me to 'chase' them, I don't respond. I will basically just ignore them because I'm assuming they are not interested and hate me. Girls don't throw themselves at me at all - they all seem like they already have a man or expect us to do everything. And that's something I have major problems doing because of my low confidence and anxiety around women.

I chased women when I was younger, now it just seems childish. Women need to know what they want and be able to discern what kind of man I am from the first few dates or conversations we have. I'm not saying you waste our time, it is just that you think things out way too much.

i chased a girl once and in the end I realized I had been played and she was only interested in my money and not me. from that point on, after a couple of dates, I tell them if I am interested in them and if she want to persue a possible relationship then great, if she doesn't then I let her know that I have enjoyed our time together but am going to move on. for ages women have had a hold over men and knew it. they have something men want. but with the changing times I believe that men are starting to realize that they do not have to be subject to that hold any longer. (this isn't th case with all women and men).

me too. I'm 24 and ever sence high school I hated playing hard to get because I alwase assume if she says no or "ignores" me I think she's uninterested. that and hard to get is such a turnoff because it is almost like she don't know what she want's or is just toying/useing me. I'm glad other guys are finaly doing the same thing I am and stop chaseing girls that think there more important than anyone else.

that's just my point of view but I'm sure there are more than a few guys who would think the same thing but never say it.

the fact that there may and may not be a challenge isn't a factor . . . see men are growing to think that today's women aren't worth a challenge. they're not worth working for. they come with problems, baggage, drama. women today just aren't worth chasing. they're not worth a challenge. if they try to make it hard or put up any resistance at all, we move on. no time or patience for games.

No, iit'd not because you're making it easy; in fact, usually you make it pretty difficult!

It's just that most women are SUCH game players and SO dishonest and SO willing to jump into bed with the guy with the most money that a lot of guys have lost interest.

Frankly, I'm glad I'm married. The singles scene, especially after you're 18, doesn't seem like much fun according to my single friends. Not at all.

Why do you think so many guys are gay? Don't think it's genetic; in 99% of the cases it's environmentally caused!

Girls cheat more then males now. you can google the results if you don't think so. We no longer want to stress about females while we know there's plenty of other fish in the sea. Females now need to prove their more then a lovely figure. Give us something we want to hold on to, that no other girl has to offer.

there's a lot of things at work. we're coming off of the feminist generation- meaning that our dads (for the ones who's parents aren't divorced) didn't really teach us much about the opposite sex, we just have to figure it out on our own.

other things like women are becoming more independent, and while there's nothing wrong with that, it has consequences. us guys feel like we are more disposable than before, like you could live without us so its more risky to try.

another thing about my first point, the whole "cocky-funny" thing is real big in our generation now. the girls want the guys who *act* like jerks that don't care, and that skill is real hard to figure out. plus the girls are picking up on it too, they are acting more bitchy and hard to get which definitely makes it harder/not worth the effort.