It seems like you found each other at the right time whenever you first met. Things seemed to being going pretty well. Before you knew it, the both of you were falling for each other until one day, he just stopped. It took a number of months but you got him where you wanted him, you dated and now it's over.
It's going to be painful, that's normal
I understand the first thing you feel is that the whole world is ending, but it isn't. One of your friends told you probably the best piece of advice, "You had a life before him and you'll have one after". That night you stayed up listening to break up songs before he even broke up with you, because you felt it was coming. After it happened, it wasn't as bad as you envisioned, but you still felt sad and that's okay.
It hurts to see him
Whenever he's talking and laughing with other people, a part of you seems to die. How is he okay after leaving someone he loved? So many things go through your head and for those few minutes, you get that feeling in your stomach. That feeling of not being able to live without him. Not being able to be okay without him. How it isn't fair that everyone else gets to enjoy him. The worse part is probably when he goes on his way without greeting you or saying good-bye. You're just another person to him. Someone who has no importance. But you can't let that bring you down or make you stoop to his level. He was someone you cared about, someone you still do and you're above that.
You don't understand why nobody else sees the pain you're in
Everyone else around you, including your friends seem to be having such a great time. Talking to your ex as if he didn't just break your chest. How can they even be okay with him after what he did to you? Sometimes you'll question if they're really your friends. It hurts when they joke about him around you, or when they bring up another girl that he would be "perfect" with. It's almost as if they don't care.
It's hard to imagine yourself in the future
Before your goals were different. You could see yourself moving closer to him, the both of you moving in and just having a great life. Everything you were driven by is suddenly gone. Do you still want to pursue that job position? Losing that extra 10 pounds doesn't seem ideal anymore or just getting up everyday. Everything you wanted to achieve either goes out the window or is put on the back burner.
You're dreading the day he finds someone else
Even though it hasn't happened, even though he is no longer yours, you still fear the day he finds someone new. You can already imagine it, hearing him talk about this other girl. The way he'll smile. How happy he'll be.
Being single feels odd
You're one person again. Nobody else attached to your name. No more Clyde to your Bonnie or Romeo to your Juliet. It's just you. You're all alone. Your name doesn't even sound right after all the times he's said it.
Did he ever love me? How did he just walk away?
You'll begin to discover who you are again
Being in a relationship can take away from who you are as a person, at least in your case it did. You'll slowly begin to find your taste in music again, what you like and what you are and aren't okay with.
It might take some time to get back out on the market
The idea of finding someone new and falling in love seems like a nightmare. What if it's the same situation all over again? You can't seem to let your walls down and at times, you're not sure if you want to.
You begin to question if there's something wrong with you
Why can't you make relationships work? Why does everyone leave too soon? Am I even capable of being loved?
You hope that one day he'll miss you
Love takes on a new meaning
You begin to be even more afraid of love. Everything you feared about it proved to be true with this last relationship, now love as a whole no longer feels safe. You wonder if there ever will be anyone out there to love you and make you feel whole again.
Conclusion:
With time perspectives will begin changing for you. You won't feel as sad and love no will no longer feel like something you can't achieve. Just because a few guys couldn't handle your needs and stick around to love you, doesn't mean somebody else won't. A few years ago after your very first heart break, your best friend told you something that stuck with you through every heart break and break up that came after, "You're a strong person. You'll get through it". It may take a few weeks, months or even a year, but eventually the pain will fade and you'll find someone new to give love a new meaning. Someone to hold you when you cry. To be there when you need them. Someone who doesn't make you feel at fault for everything that's wrong with you. As of now, take things slow and focus on healing. It takes a few seconds to meet someone and fall in love with them, but it takes a lot longer to forget them and move on. Sometimes we never move on, but we do learn how to cope and I know you can and will.
Love,
Yourself
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