How To End A Relationship In A Mature Way

How To End A Relationship In A Mature Way

When, despite all efforts, we can't maintain a relationship, it's time to sit down and talk.

Finding a way to end things in a mature way is not easy.

You don't need to end up as enemies and become strangers that's why the break up needs to be as painless as possible.

- Are you in a relationship that's not making you happy?

- You don't want to hurt this person and you're trying to end it in a civilized way?

If you have decided that it's time for you both part separate ways, learn how to confront your partner without hurting him/her.

- Is that really what you want?

How To End A Relationship In A Mature Way

Whatever the reason for ending a relationship, this step is not easy. Even if you take the initiative to end it, it doesn't mean you won't miss that person.
So make sure you're certain of your decision. The only way to break up in a mature way is to know exactly why.

We should also always make sure that breaking up is what we really want to do. You must be ready and determined. Analyze the situation a few times and act based on your conclusions.

- Privately, Face to Face and Timing

Be respectful and end it in private, not in public.
Be respectful and end it in private, not in public.

Under no circumstances decide to end the relationship in a restaurant, malls or any public place with a crowd. Never act like a coward - don't use text messages, phones, e-mails or chats. The situation is uncomfortable, but the other person deserves respect and consideration.

You should also make sure that you will do this in the right moment. After all, you don't want to be seen as the person who causes even more pain when your partner is grieving or going through a bad time.

- Honesty and Confidence

Don't change your mind if you know it's over. Be firm.
Don't change your mind if you know it's over. Be firm.

It's very important to be honest with each other without being cruel so avoid excuses like "It's not you, it's Me". Don't break his/her heart with truths that may hurt but don't give in to the manioulation or tears that the other person can use as weapon for you to change your mind.

If you intend to date someone after the break up, don't mention it. You just need to tell the truth about the situation: you don't want to be with the person anymore. There are details you need to avoid that can cause more damage than necessary.

- Be prepared for the worst

Don't engage in any fights. Just leave.
Don't engage in any fights. Just leave.

Their reaction can be unexpected. This means that you should be prepared for your partner not to be happy with your decision (which is natural) and no matter what happens, try to stay calm, take a break and be firm. Avoid at all costs to end your relationship in the middle of a heated argument, remember that the anger makes everything worse.

Finally, you should know when to leave. The fact that you're breaking up with him/her doesn't mean you have to stay there and be treated badly. Just tell the person how you feel about the situation, wait for the reaction and then stay away.

- Don't forget that...

The other person may find it very difficult to be your friend immediately, so it is important to give some time for that to happen. There are people who simply don't want to have a friendship with their ex so you must respect their desire and understand it.

Be prepared to have your friendship rejected.
Be prepared to have your friendship rejected.

Keep the positive memories of what you had with them and remember that being with that person was also your decision, so avoid comments that might harm their reputation.

Try to be always calm and end the relationship in the most friendly way possible. Life is a cycle and breaking up with someone means to overcome an important stage of our life.

Making the decision to walk away is difficult that's why it's always important to end things in a mature way, so that you and your ex partner can be well and at peace.

Being friends with your ex shows you two are mature enough to get over the fact that you weren't meant to be together.

#scctakes


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Excellent Take. This is not easy to do, as evidenced by the frequency of ghosting.

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    • True. These days people prefer avoid confrontations so they usually vanish...

  • I really liked it. With my ex I was the one who decided to breakup and the one who find it harder to definitely end things. My ex put me on the edge when after months texting each other she suddenly ghosted me, a lot of emotions came across, and for a few days I hated her, I hated the fact that she will find happiness with another guy, until I realized none of we were completely happy in the relation. 3 years passed and we still didn't have the opportunity to see each other in person. Been like that I let go all the fears I had of losing her, and accepted things as they were. I even gave her my friendship although she doesn't like the idea. We stayed as acquaintance, it doesn't bother me. I did my best, and I wish her the best.

    What had me more angry was the feeling that she was ghosting me. After 10 days of concluding where we was standing, I asked her a simple question she never did respond, until she finally texted me. We talked and left things clear, from there on I can say I have completely free my self from what we had as a couple. The only thing I wanted was honesty.

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    • I'm really sorry to know that things ended up this badly for you both... I can feel in your words how much it hurts until this day. So, congratulations for taking the high road. It shows you really love her even if as a friend now.

    • Life can be cruel but what to do. None of us have the possibility to changes things anytime soon and I can proudly say I did my best. If she ever wants to have a romantic relationship with me again, honestly it will be to late😅, I only see her as a friend now, and I just don't feel that attracted to her anymore. The only attraction I feel is a friendship attraction.

      Not everything is black and white, the two of us learned from the relationship we had. It was our first relationship, and I hope she get to be wise enough to chose the right guy for her. I know she may feel that relation more intimate since is not gonna be a LDR (I hope). There will be physical contact, and her judgement may go to 0. I just wish no guy takes advantage of her 😕 (not something I can stop unfortunately. Only advices I shall give if she ask for any).

    • Thanks!

Most Helpful Girls

  • Awesome take. I always was afraid of the reaction when breaking up with someone.

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  • Nice my take! I am also good friends with my ex and I couldn't agree more with the final quote. Have a good day ☺

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What Guys Said 24

  • I recommend breaking up in public if there is any concern about your safety. Here are my thoughts in the subject:

    Some Practical Advice For How To Break Up ↗

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  • Fantastic take!

    But...

    That final quote, "Being friends with your ex shows you two are mature enough to get over the fact that you weren't meant to be together."

    This isn't true in all cases. In what you've said, whether you meant to or not, Desconhecida, it implies that *NOT* being friends with your ex shows you two are *NOT* mature enough...

    Being friends with your ex, or not being friends with your ex, can show a lot of things. It can show that the two of you weren't all that into each other in the first place. It can show that one or both of you have a history of abuse, which has a definite effect on how we perceive rejection. It can show that one or both of you have a neurochemistry which makes the person feel rejection harder than most of the population. It does *NOT* necessarily mean you are somehow less mature than if you remained friends with your ex.

    I am one who has remained friends with or at least been friendly with every single ex I have. One of them attended my wedding. That being said, this doesn't make me more mature than people who aren't friends with their ex's. I've known *PLENTY* of people who chose not to be friends with their ex's, and they are every bit as mature as you and I. They have wonderful jobs. They have wonderful friendships. They have wonderful marriages. They are wonderful parents. You get the point (I hope).

    How I long to live to see the day when:
    1. The desire to date physically attractive people, and the desire not to date physically unattractive people, isn't labeled "shallow"
    2. The decision not to remain friends with someone you have a romantic longing for isn't automatically labeled, or implied, "immature."

    In all other respects, this is a great take!

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    • As I said before: "The final quote was just an example of one of the good outcomes of having respect when breaking up. I didn't mean to imply it's a rule. Sorry!"

  • If they care for you, they are going to want to fight or try to stay in. The deeper the relationship, the more it’s going to hurt. For marriages and serious 2+ year long term relationships, I think counseling will be needed. When there are other people involved like children or parents or close friends it is going to be even more complicated.

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  • The best way is to stop communicating with them. Don't contact them, and don't respond when they try to contact you. Eventually they will get the message and move on

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  • "Being friends with your ex shows you two are mature enough to get over the fact that you weren't meant to be together."
    You don't need to be friends with an ex.

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    • As I said before: "The final quote was just an example of one of the good outcomes of having respect when breaking up. I didn't mean to imply it's a rule. Sorry!"

    • I wasn't aware that you wrote that particular phrase in the MyTake. I thought you implied it to be a rule. My mistake

    • No problem!

  • Very good take - I try to do it all except if there is residual feelings on either side - If both agree relationship is dead then a possibility of friendship - Any residual feelings, I feel you have to do a clean break for both your sakes.

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    • Yep.

      You look familiar...

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    • @Bluemax My father passed away in 2014 before I joined GaG in 2015 so I was probably talking about recent experience. My mother is now 91 so I am now her caregiver, she is still in very good shape maybe a bit fragile at age so the family feel happier to have someone around 24/7 and since I did it with my father, they asked me to do it with my mother. I don't know what it is like in US but here in Ireland I am a civil servant and they hold my job for two years per person I care for. Also I am allowed claim a state allowance close enough to a living wage while I care for someone.

    • @Bluemax How are things with your mother?

  • I like this take interesting and I agree if you're going to end the relationship do it face to face in person and you can do it in a private place never do it by way of texting or on the computer or on the phone

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  • You're making it WAY too complicated. By the time you're ready to end it that's all that needs to be said. "It's over." No explanations, no blaming, nothing. It's already been discussed to death. Or, 'I can't do this anymore, it's over." Seriously.

    If you're married it's a WHOLE different ballgame. ;)

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    • It's a choice to have consideration for someone you once loved. But yes, you can be like that too.

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    • I did not try to explain a break up, I simply wrote some points that could be helpful WHEN breaking up.

    • In other words, more made up bullshit, like your other 'take. Right? LOL
      Who do you think you are anyway?

  • Good take. Private and face-to-face are critical factors if it is going to be a mature, amicable split.

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  • yes this is the best way. Too bad everyone ghosts these days

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  • You said being friends with your ex shows you two are mature enough to get over the fact that you weren't meant to be together.

    I must not be mature since I am not friends with any of my exes based on what you you said. Why would I want to be friends with a gold digger, a lying cheater, someone who accused me of physically laying my hands on her cousin even though I was never close enough to do so, someone who allowed their mom to meddle in our relationship way too much etc?

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    • See my response.

      Although, I would have to examine why you chose to be with gold diggers, liars, and cheaters.

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    • If I knew they were a gold digger, a lying cheater etc. I would have never gotten with them in the first place.

    • Nobody knows it at first. Gold diggers and bad people dont come with its flaws written on their forehead. I wish! Hehehe

  • It is great if you can be civil over a break-up but it doesn't happen too often. It is rare when both people involved want to split. There is usually a winner and a loser in these situations and no one wants to be that loser.

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  • Generally the girls just throw shoes at me. Or have a tantie.

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  • Nice. I think that a reasonable conversation would be the best.

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  • This is a great take with these great points!!! "The situation is uncomfortable, but the other person deserves respect and consideration." That is so important!! The other person needs to know, they can't just be left alone wondering what happened... It is the right thing to do! "Honesty and Confidence" Could not agree more!! You need to be bold and unafraid to speak the truth, the wounds will be deep but they will heal better when they don't have to be reopened later. "The fact that you're breaking up with him/her doesn't mean you have to stay there and be treated badly. " I say this in posts on questions. Don't leave the breakup without a pleasant talk showing them you value them as a person, that is so important!!

    I am curious with a question for you, is there ever a time a break up should happen via a letter or by another person saying the break up is happening on their behalf. I would curious to see what you would think about that..

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  • Good take, but I don't agree with the last quote. You shouldn't be friends with someone who was abusive and toxic. That helps no one...

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    • "The final quote was just an example of one of the good outcomes of having respect when breaking up. I didn't mean to imply it's a rule. Sorry!"

  • Guys appreciate you being direct with them so just say what you feel.

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  • love the mytake

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  • You're right...

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What Girls Said 7

  • This is definitely the goal, though I do understand how under certain circumstances things can get messy.

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  • Its not easy to end a relationship especially maturely, nice take

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  • I'd preffer my ex and I to be strangers I hate being fake friends with someone

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    • "The final quote was just an example of one of the good outcomes of having respect when breaking up. I didn't mean to imply it's a rule. Sorry!"

  • I did everything right... like we were dead as a couple. He spoke with 0 emotion to me and it had been that way for a long time. Then we moved apart and it got worse+no sex or other stuff to bind the 'relationship' together. So, I asked him to think about us (because he had no future plans and I felt we were wasting each other's time) He refused to think about "us" 2 weeks later I broke up. And he got pissed and threw out my stuff (which I'm over at this point) and yea, he was a huge dick even though we were over and I wasn't nasty or anything.

    Sometimes even if you end it the 'right way' you still get nasty results. But it's like dodging a bullet :)

    great mytake by the way

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    • Sorry about that. Sometimes even doing the right thing can't prevent us to be mistreated by someone. All we can do is our part. Thanks for reading!

  • Nice take

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  • Good take...

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  • Okay

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