My story about sharing nudes plus (questions)!

[Alice2398]

I love my boyfriend to pieces, he's the most prefect thing in my life and im so lucky to have found him more than he'll ever know

He has no idea about how my life was before i met him. I was a broken sad lonely depressed 19 year old girl who had never had a boyfriend before or even been kissed. Then i started my new job and i met a guy not much older than me. I tried to deny my feelings but i fell madly in love with him as soon as we met we had amazing connection, we were like to peas in a pod. I felt like he was the only one who cared and understood me.

Then things got messy. I knew he loved me to but he was scared of a serious rely with me once i opened up how i felt. I was so confused he kept trying to be this boyfriend like figure with me, buying me little gifts, listening to my issues, having lunch with me and then if i came up to him whilst he was with friends he'd tell me i was ugly and crazy for ever thinking we were a thing, then hed confuse me again by being loving with me behind closed doors.

He was my first love and he broke my heart, he let me down and i was once again a sad, lonely depressed young woman. I was more messed up than id ever been and my attitude towards men change even though deep down i just wanted someone to love me back. Id go out clubbing and drink till i couldnt see and dance all night with any guy who slightly looked like my first love.

Then i met this guy on G@G he was 28 whilst i was still only 19. He started off by being my friend trying get me to open up more. I told him everything and he told me he could help take the pain away. Hed tell me i was beautiful and everything i wanted to hear. It started off with just sexting.

Then he kept asking for nudes at first i was dead against it but hed constantly pressure me and would lose interest if i didn't. As i said before i just wanted to feel loved so i did it. Then he pressured me into video sex to when at first i said no he still pressured me into it and it went on for 2 years on and off we were always fighting because he'd talk to me for one day and then varnish for months and expect me to be at his bec and call once he came back.

I pretty much had a Internet relationship with this guy even though i knew not much about him at all. I was still very loyal to him and only went with other guys on the Internet closer to my age when we'd break up for 3 months or something just to replace him and still get them feelings of self worth by guys telling me i was beautiful.

Then a amazing friend came along at work. He saw how broken I was and that id given up on ture love. He signed me up to tinder without telling me. At first when I found out i was so mad at him and the first real date i had was terrible then my second date i met a amazing guy who changed my life. As soon as i met him i deleted all contacts with all the toxic men in my life and cleaned up my act because i was so sure on this guy.

9 months on he still knows nothing of this besides my first love because he wanted to know why I have trust issues with men. Sometimes when he's missing me or I've not seen him in a while he will hint for nudes and i always tell him im to shy and he respects it. I don't know why i felt comfortable at the time sharing nudes with them guys on the Internet and not with my boyfriend who i trust more than anyone.

I feel like i never want to go back to that place and it would cheapen are relationship. Im in a place now we're i feel also clean and like im a good person again. I hate that old me and wish that part of my life never existed but now it's going to follow me everywhere and im terrified of someone i love one day finding out and seeing them pics.

[loveslongnails]

Hopefully this one will stick and be real, and good, for you. You sound like a sincere person, though I have to say you appear to wear your emotions on your sleeve. That's not a criticism. :)

I have ALWAYS maintained, since the beginning of TIME... lol... that sending nudes to guys is a horrible idea. When it became a "thing", it was as if you were expected to it if you wanted a guy to even like you. Total bullshit. Sending nudes if you're 16 to 20 something, to guys of the same age, means only 1 thing - expect to see them on the internet at some point, and expect their friends will see them too. You think your guy is special? He'd never do that? Just wait till your first real fight. And if you break up and he feels like you fucked him over, forget it. They're posted.

Unless you're seriously committed to each other, as in engaged at least, or have been together for SO long its the equivalent of being married, why ask for nudes? It's disrespectful as a man. That would be strike one against you if she has any dignity.

And ladies, if a guy asks you for them and you decide he's still a keeper, when you say "no", if you say "no", you don't owe him an explanation other than " I don't want to. I said no. Drop it, and don't ask me again". If he can't honor that, your initial assessment was wrong, he's not a keeper.

[motownplayer2000]

Ok, first, I’m glad that you are in a better place. Everyone deserves to be in a good place. However, a couple things come to mind as I was reading this:

1) you should never let someone dictate how you feel about yourself or what you do! As hard as that sounds to achieve it’s really not! You need to learn to LOVE yourself. Take time for yourself, listen to you. Find out what you need to fulfill yourself. It’s not a boyfriend, or man, or social acceptance or dick or anything like that. You need to learn to be comfortable in your own skin and accept you for who you are, then you would have won more than half of what you have been struggling with. The tools to use to achieve that is to get mental health check ups. You need to talk with a professional about ways you can improve your self-worth and image.

[motownplayer2000]

2) You depend on men way more than you should. While I highly disagree and will usually stay away from women that bash men because a man treated them wrong and will say men ain’t shit. Especially when women themselves will treat their own worst than shit, you should never wait for a man to “make you feel a certain way about yourself. This goes back to number one. Get to better yourself, and then learn to be alone, with yourself and do for yourself, then men will have to fall in line because they won’t be able to manipulate you. I’ve learn that for myself, cause I was in similar situations with women. I learned this things, and toxic women bounce off me because they know they won’t get past the driveway to my heart!

3) Always be upfront with baggage in a relationship. Because hiding means that you are going to be insecure and keep that insecurity in your heart. And that’s why you have problems. Share, wear it proudly (after you first resolve the issues in one and two) like a badge of honor. Don’t flaunt it, but be proud of the experiences you have had. That way, it will break all insecurities an d future insecurities you will be able to handle better. And it won’t be used against to feel like you need to be ashamed of your past. Cause you don’t need to be! Past is the past, learn from it and look to the future.

[proNutro]

I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. I can sort of relate with you like that. I’m disgusted for how I’ve been and I’m trying to change. My ex I was with for a year. We instantly clicked because we came from the same area and so yeah we had the same background. We started to sext and he started to nag and ended up forcing me to send nudes. I don’t want to do those things. I’m scared for when I do land up finding an amazing partner, he’ll not want me because of the things I’ve done. I too met a guy on G@G two years ago and we stayed as friends but then he wanted more and we fell for each other. Things too got messy and I’d never been in an online relationship before but he landed up hurting me. So many lies, also forced me to send nudes, he’d not talk to me for a day or two and when he would he’d want to sext, have little conversation and that was it. I’m happy that you’ve found someone amazing though!
I can’t wait to move on from this broken part in my life to the part where I feel happy and clean.

[laurieluvsit]

Having nude pictures out there is more common today than most people realize, so just put that behind you.

A lot of guys will think it odd if there aren't any, in spite of so many girls who want to brag of being as white as snow.

Move forward, no one worth their salt will fault you for falling into the normal life of a modern teenager and young adult.

End your guilt today over this and move ahead... PLEASE?

Good luck! :)

[Alice2398]

Its ture i do feel a lot of guilt and still hate myself for certain things I've done in the past at times and i really need to forgive myself and forget all about it but it's hard but im liking the new me now my boyfriend makes me better person and gave me the love and support I'd never received before by a man before besides my dad even though I have a difficult relationship with him.

I finally feel like I've made a good clean fresh start by respecting myself again and feeling worthy of respect from others too

[laurieluvsit]

That is so nice... I'm proud of you!

Never forget that it is hard, if not impossible, to love others without loving yourself first :)

[Guardian45]

Well-said!

[laurieluvsit]

@Guardian45 ... :)

[Guy13]

And she lived happily ever after... enjoyed your Take.

[lowell2593]

Let me tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. The previois toxic partners you were with had serious issues. I cannot stress enough how important personal boundaries are in a relationship. Those previous men manipulated you to do things you were uncomfortable with, and took advantage of you not wanting to lose them. Your current boyfrienf sounds waaaayy better and he respects your boundries. If you feel like nudes would cheapen your relationship then continue not doing it. I personally would never feel comfortable sending them either. There are loads of nice people in this world who will respect you and your way of life. But there are others who are malicious who will test you. You have to be strong and stay true to yourself. Dont let anyone pressure you into things your not comfortable with. Be strong! If it bothers you your boyfriend dosent know all of what happened thats ok. Tell him when you feel comfortable, thats really personal stuff and im sure hell understand.

[CubsterShura]

I'm so scared of digital footprint, I could never share nudes. I always tell my boyfriend if we wanna have my nude photographs (after we get married of course) it has to be a physical photo kept safe with us, and burned off when I die.

I don't care how old fashioned that is, it's not fun to be leaked by hackers.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I'm glad for you that you learned from your mistakes and move on forward. I too got in trouble with nudes I carelessly shared but I hit "my 'reset' button" and dropped everything like a bad habit. Believe, moving on can be easier than we anticipate because we used our head.

[Lliam]

Life is a learning experience, Alice. No need to be ashamed of a few nudes with a former boyfriend. They were understandable under the circumstances and not really a big deal. We've all done things we later regret. Again, it's part of growing up and learning from our experiences.
It's really nice to know how happy you are now.
Best wishes.

[Lemia]

Thats the problem with some people on here only interested in sexual things and they dont care who the bully into. Always be careful who you share pictures with specially things like breasts and vagina or any sex acts because they can use it against you. But Happy for you that you found someone that loves you

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Alice I am glad that you found your wonderland.
As life is concerned we have to consciously accept our wrong doings the good the bad and the uguly parts then learn from them.
Only you can forgive yourself, it's just life experiences accept it gracefully

[shubhdelhi]

If u love someone but go slow.. And now u know what is right and what is wrong. So do the right things and avoid doing wrong things that you learnt from your past.
And it's not compulsory to fall in love as a trend or fashion

Enjoy your own company.. Love yourself.

[creepyperve]

Everyone has a past, it's what make us who we are, if someone loves you they won't let some little thing from your past taint who you are now

[Piteka5]

I think you are doing great, sending nudes is always kinda dangerous, and if he has to wait to see you in person it will have much more value to him than simply swiping in his phone

[Richard-Tilburg]

If you stood behind it when you did it, it should not be of any mather... It is only too bad that the internet excists and people can be complete assholes... If you liked it to do, maybe in the future you like it again.

[dogcrazylady1993]

Tbh if you were nude in the pics, then I'm sure they weren't looking at your face. So I doubt anybody would recognize you

[Trooper205]

If I were you, I wouldn't get myself involved in "relationships" with someone who Demands Nudes... Someone who pressures you into things like that cannot be trusted with Love.

[alance99]

Everybody has a past and you also have one but the best thing is you got over the worst time of your life and you are fit and healthy both mentally and physically so stop thinking about your past

[pizzalovershouse]

Well just make shure you dont wait to long to tell him about you photos an videos cuz what if an ex posted it an he were to see it that wouldn't be good

[evaeverlasting]

That your. life you have let go of one

[AshleyMariaWinter]

Thank you for sharing! 😊

I'm glad you're better now. I should take this as a warning not to move from DMing to anything sexual with the guys on here (or on social media in general).

[COMMODOREII]

Stop giving nudes out and truly change. Your past can not be fixed but it means a lot if you decide to move away from those acts.

[Imsuperhotguy]

Nudes should only be for your boyfriend if your boyfriends share your nudes with his buddys that makes him a peice of shit prick

[Cryptic-Game]

Don't let men in the future take advantage of you. You deserve a man who loves you fully. I'm proud that you are not lonely anymore. Please stay that way!

[eagle1951]

interesting story. still it makes me wonder what would have happened, had there not been and internet

[Alice2398]

Honestly as depressing as it sounds i probably would have killed myself. I was rock bottom back then

[eagle1951]

i'm very glad you did not,