Today he announced his engagement. Held her hand tightly as they stood up on stage at church smiling. A warm applause ringing out for them and their future. You'd think that after liking him for 6 years I'd be devastated. That I would be torn apart and that my heart would unbearably ache. The one I grew up with. The one I admired above everyone else will never be mine?
Yet I felt warm and happy. Fuzzy almost. Grinning ear to ear. Clapping for them louder than most. Impossible? I thought so too...
Yet I learned to let go. I learned to trust that God has my life all planned out and that if there's someone out there for me, I wouldn't be stuck in something like this if they were "the one". They'd love me too. They'd see me as the greatest human too. They'd bring me happiness and joy instead of leaving me stuck in sorrow and jealousy. I gave up. I accepted that he wasn't mine. I stopped deceiving myself. I looked to reality, counted my blessings, looked to gratefulness, and slowly the truth set my heart free from the chains that bound my heart to long for him unrequitedly.
I know it hurts right now. If feels like you'll never move on. It feels like you can't possibly love someone again. It feels like life is against you. It's unfair. Painful. Heart-wrenching. You can't get out of bed. You can't even cry anymore. Why me?
You can do this. There IS a silver lining. Things will get better. You'll find truth. You'll find peace. You'll eventually move on and do the impossible. Time heals. Again, I cannot stress enough. TIME heals. So take your time. Find new passions. Discover the world and the people in it. Spoil yourself with a tub of ice cream. Cry. Laugh. Go run. Hug a pet... maybe too tightly to be 100% humane. Invest in other friendships. Invest in your personal faith. Seek healing and joy. Feel the pain, grieve it, and let it go. With time.
You'll be just fine my dear.
It really does get easier. ❤️