The other day I broke up with a girl I had been dating for nearly three months.
Sometimes I wonder what she thinks I am thinking. Sometimes I am curious whether she understands my feelings. The truth is I dumped her and I miss her A LOT. I even cry about it.
Does a Dumper Miss You?
Here is the thing about someone who dumps you. Often times they don't dump you because they want to do it, they dump you for moral or integrity reasons. Sometimes they may dump you out of pain or fear.
I wish the Dumper felt my pain!
Actually, in some cases the person who dumped you probably does feel just as much pain as you. Especially if it was a long relationship.
Does the Dumper think about me?
Yes. Sometimes the dumper thinks about you all the time. In some cases the dumper may fuck another person to try to escape the pain of your memory. It may be a temporary high but in the end they will think of you months or even years later.
Does the Dumper feel regret?
Absolutely. As a Dumper I feel regret and pain at the moment. I certainly doubt if I made the right decision but in the end I know I did. In the end, I know I made the right decision but I wish I never had to do it.
Will a Dumper ever take you back?
In most cases no. In my situation, probably not.
What would it take to get an Ex Back?
In my situation I have a secret fantasy that after blocking her on phone and social media..she will fight for the relationship by emailing me or sending me a long letter. The fantasy is followed by a reunion where she is a completely transformed and improved version of herself. Where she accepts the past and has true remorse and I can clearly see she has changed. She has matured. She is ready for the REAL thing.
Transform yourself for the better. Address fully why the breakup happened. And fix those flaws in the relationship.
Does No Contact Work?
I still love her. But it is the party at fault's job to fix things.
Most Helpful Opinions
People need to give dumpers a break. Nobody realises just how much pain and how much of a burden it is for the dumper. It’s not that they don’t love you anymore (in most cases that is), but it’s that something is going wrong in the relationship and the dumper usually has more courage to address it and make the decision to break up. Dumping is so so hard, and we miss the person just as much as they miss us (and if not more).
Like you, I’ve had that fantasy too where the person would change but it’s never happened before. Usually break ups happen for the best and for a good reason that’s why we don’t decide to go back.
99% of dumpers feel nothing when they dump anyone. They are called dumbers for a reason which is they dump you in the trash like a piece of used period pads.
My best friend is a female. She dumped her 2 year boyfriend because he wouldn't get a job and was basically living off of her. A year goes by and he shaped up. Got a new job. Is no longer homeless. Feels confident... He shaped up and changed. He credits her.
2 days ago they were texting each other. He drove 5 hours to see her and they had sex at her apartment. She dumped him and kicked him out. Now he has changed and is obsessed with him.
Sorry guys I can't speak for those people. I can speak for myself and my experience. I've broken up with most of my exes and it really did hurt because I had genuine feelings/cared about them as a person truly.