Why stringing along hurts so much and why you should avoid it at all costs.

Why stringing along hurts so much and why you should avoid it at all costs.

After 5 years of chasing a man who I was deeply in love with, I messaged him after not hearing from him for a while to find out that he was now in a relationship. Immediately then was a rip of pain in my heart. I started shivering all over my body and immediately thought about how this was the end to everything between me and this man. This man started off being a very close friend of mine while I was in an unhappy marriage. I tried really hard to work through everything for the sake of my children, but alas it didn't work out. I and this other guy got very close, and he would pull me deep in and fill me with love and security, only days later to cut me off or treat me like it had never happened. This went on for 5 years, I blame myself for being so deeply in love that I was unable to recognise that I was being pinned along until something better came along for him. I would question him on why we couldn't be together, he would blame his mental health and battle with drugs (which I know for a fact he did struggle with) Realistically, I wish he'd had the courage to tell me, I just wasn't what he was looking for. Every time I would try and cut him off, he'd return. Thus enabling me to think that in fact, he did like me after all. That may be his mental health was the reason why he couldn't be together right now.

Realistically this isn't true. When it got into the new year, I prayed this would be the year I finally Win him, and I thought I really was getting very close to it, that was until he went quiet, he did respond to my messages, but not in the way he usually would. It was very cold and short. Not like the nights of messaging each other into the early morning talking about everything. I then realised on his TikTok account he'd unfollowed all the pretty girls he would usually simp over, and he'd started following a page based on date ideas. I think I knew what was happening here, but instead, I pretended it wasn't, and that in a couple of weeks we'd be back to messaging each other constantly like we always did. That never came.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to bite the bullet and ask him how he was, *PING* an immediate notification illuminated up my phone. My heart raced, It was him. I'd asked him he was feeling, and for the first time in a while, 'I'm actually really good...I think I knew what was happening next. 'Anything new happening in your life?' I responded. ..'Actually, you'll never believe this, but I'm now in a relationship.. I know shock horror'.. the pain hit me so hard. For 5 years this man has strung me along. 5 years.

Just please, if you are not interested in a girl/boy, and have no intention of wanting to be with them, you might want to avoid the pain of letting them down, but if this guy had just done it from the start, I wouldn't of wasted 5 years of my life that ill never get back.

Why stringing along hurts so much and why you should avoid it at all costs.
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  • TonyMetal___86

    Your story made me sad boobsee lady, your a sweet lady and you deserve to be loved and taken care and for someone to make you happy, it ain't your fault for falling in love with him, it's his fault that he kept you believing that he loves you while he never revealed his true intentions...

    I wish you all luck from now on and to be more aware of the people that your hanging with

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  • exitseven

    Even a cynical, hardened old cuss like me feels sadness after reading this. I am really sorry you are going through this. When I was dating I could not believe some of the stuff people used to do to each other. I screwed over a couple of girls myself and now I feel ashamed of myself.
    I hope that you get past this and you find somebody that deserves a nice person like you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • TommyMountainFigure

    I am sorry you went through all that pain, but if you look at things objectively, you wanted him so badly, is it possible there was just a mixup with the signals you and he were sending each other?
    For example, I am TERRIBLE at the whole signals thing. Sending them and knowing when someone is interested in me. but It's not something I do on purpose though.

  • AydenHazor

    Any guy who strings you along and plays with your heart in such manner is not worthy of your heart.

  • Anonymous

    I’m sorry this happened to you, no one deserves to be treated like an option. I’m worried that I might be in your position right now, how long do you think is too long a wait? (Have only been waiting for 3-4 months for him to be “ready” for a relationship with me).