If your ex is reaching out

[Gent207-2]

If your ex is reaching out to you, what they are reaching out for is the green light.

In the Great Gatsy, he ( Gatsby) was trying to reconnect with his ex-girlfriend because of nostalgia for the moment he intertwined his sense of destiny with her. In like manner all those beautiful moments in your past relationship have formed the green light that your ex is reaching for and is hoping to relive.

But the reality is that time changes people. You are not the same person you were before they broke your heart. How can you possibly hope to return to that version of yourself? You can't and in like manner your relationship can never be what it once was nor can it be made better. Trust me in this once a relationship is broken it's best if it remains so and is never revived.

Do not be like me or Gatsby trapped in a viscious cycle reaching out for the light that is long behind us. More importantly do not let your ex back into your life if you cannot keep them in the bounds of friendship.

[Anonymous]

I truly believed I was in love with my ex. At the time we began dating, I thought it was fate. We met through mutual friends at work, and coincidentally he was my cousin’s best friend. We had only met twice through work, and that second time we all we needed.




I loved him more than I had loved anybody else, and sure I loved my family. The love I had for him was unexplored and raw, and if you don’t know what that love can feel like. Imagine if you met someone who wasn’t related to you, but felt like family. Like everything you’ve ever wanted to do, now you wanted to do with somebody else. Not for the thrill or experience, but because you’ve never wanted anybody else as good as they made you feel.


I truly believed that was my last ex.


Of course, more than a year has passed. Since then, I’ve stalked him a bit, and he’s done the same for me. I feel physically different. Like the person I was when we were together, doesn’t exist anymore. I’ve learned more about myself alone than I did when we were together.


Yet I still fantasize about him reaching out to me. Sometimes through a text message, or when I’m driving through the same town we met each other in, and if I’m feeling extra delusional— I imagine him holding a boombox for me outside. It’s all silly because I know I love the version of him before we broke up, and I know for a fact he’s a completely different person now. As am I.


If he reached out, I don’t know what I would do. Except I know he never will.

[Anonymous]

I don't have any exs but personally I think it largely depends on why you broke up. Gatsby was reaching out to a married woman who was also a mother he knew in his past who did not wait for him, she was also a very crappy person that he should have counted himself lucky for not marrying. Husbands and wives should always be a no go for relationships, if a person will cheat on their partner or even leave their partner for you then they aren't worth having as a partner as they will do the same to you some day. I watch a lot of rom-coms and I don't get why they glorify women cheating on their husbands or boyfriend's in these movies.

[Angelo75]

To put it simply, you're supposed to be in a relationship TO STAY.

The fact he/she is ur ex means:
A. He/She quit on you. Meaning they didn't stay to fix the problem. There is a big chance the same thing will happen in the future.
B. You left because it became too much. So there is a big chance you'll get the same thing again.

Either way, it's a headache. Just move on.

[fuddly]

I still miss an ex after 25 years

I broke up with her

Is it totally ridiculous to get in touch?

I think i keep it in my back pocket thinking i have an alternative to current relationship

[Gent207-2]

Worst idea ever

[fuddly]

👍👍👍

[pathfinder69420]

You shouldn't be in a relationship until you sort that out. It's selfish and you shouldn't be with someone you don't love the way they deserve to be loved.

[Rosexøxø]

So sad :[

my ex is happily going onwards in his lonely retiring life lol

He actually never considered me his girlfriend though he mentioned marriage to me 😆

I found out I hadn’t had him blocked and realized he never reached out to me ever. It was baffling and honestly funny too.

I wish I was never happy with a person who betrayed. He didn’t deserve my smiles. I hope to be in the arms of my husband forever. I hope we make many memories where I can forget all of those who caused me troubles and heartache.

[Rosexøxø]

Here’s to hoping you too can move on and past those stumbling blocks. They’re more like dead bodies in the dark. Lifeless. Times gone by. Uncaring to your comfort. Don’t trip up over ANY of them!!

[Paris13]

lol Today was hHs Birthday and No Contact for a Week until Today!!! (He was Peeved) Ahh and NO GIFT CARD NEITHER. xxoo

[Paris13]

by the way" I POSTED A NEW QUESTION OF SOMETHING FAMILIAR. xxoo

[pathfinder69420]

I just torched every bridge, flight path, tunnel, teleport pad, etc. with an ex who reached out after I unblocked them. I mean the moment I unblocked them.

Why did I block?

1. Zero emotional intelligence

2. Crazy, violent exes that will always be in their life due to children. Single parents aren't a deal breaker for me, as I am one, but if the dudes are nuts and it poses a risk for my kids, bye.

3. Attention-seeking behavior, thirst trap posts, farming validation from other people. I have boundaries, that's a deal breaker for me.

4. I found out about a romantic entanglement with a "best friend" who would wink in and out of their life. Contact and communication suddenly turned to crap when this person came back.

5. Lying.

6. Kept making excuses whenever I brought up my concerns and distaste for how I was being treated.

There's more, but that's enough. Life is too short. Know your worth. Have standards, but make sure they are realistic and tempered with solid boundaries.

The second they realized I wasn't going to put up with their BS and that I fell out of feelings with time and in light of how I was treated, the claws came out and I let them know what I thought.

People, if your ex is coming back, you're not the one - it's just your turn (again).

Keep them blocked. Work on yourself. Focus on healthy relationships with friends and family.

[Asimiv]

Generally I agree, and I agree regarding my exes. But I also know multiple couples who were either in a relationship for a couple of years or for a shorter while (call it dating if you will), broke it off, but some years later, they ended up getting back together and married. And another couple of years later had kids. And they're still together. But I believe these things are rare

[Gent207-2]

@Asimiv
One key factor: Time
Time to let old feelings die and new ones to be born is a huge difference

[Anemone978]

I reached out to an old friend I was really into.. I personally thought we were soulmates but I realized after almost a year we were completely different to who we were in the past, and it just broke me into pieces when I figured out he would never be serious and pick me. I was absolutely in love with him, but even though he kept saying he loved me his actions proved otherwise.. so I walked away and he.. didn't try to stop me..
It still hurts even now when I think of him..

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm friends with several of my ex's because we were all "in the game" together and... it's useful... to have people you can count on for certain things. Some rando civilian isn't going to fill that vacuum. That said, none of us are trying to get back together with none of us because none of us think it'll be different the second time around, but yeah, if there's an issue/problem, you reach out to people, maybe get some help with a conversation or an action done.

[miadee]

Depends on break up

If they did dirty & hurt you badly, NO going back. (Cheating, insulting etc)

If break up was clean & respectful. Then you might go back.

[Inbox]

@miadee Yup

[Unknown8264]

I was supposed to meet my LDR boyfriend (now ex) but before trip he started making creepy jokes, so I felt unsafe and decided to block him and to cancel the trip.
I miss him so much and I feel bad for the amount of money he spent on gifts but I can’t ignore the creepiness.
Sometimes I want to reach out to him but at the same time I get scared. Imagine being in a 6 month relationship and finally meeting LDR girlfriend / boyfriend then 2 days you get blocked everywhere while asleep.

[whoknowsb]

i get it, but i guess you could have send a message explaining before blocking. like, it can be quite shitty to just be ghosted with no apparent explanation. I don't know what he did or said and i really don’t judge, but just be careful with ghosting, it is quite? when you are the person who is blocked and receiving 0 answers.

[RingOfFire]

Every relationship I have had in my life ended on amicable terms. But I have never had the feeling that I wanted to get back into a relationship with any of them.

My biggest problem now is that a girl I dated 50 years in High School is stalking me and I can't get rid of her. Plus she is married. I tried to be polite for almost a year now but she won't give up. I don't want to get mean about it but she is leaving me no choice at this point.

[IslaTheWitch]

My ex was a jerk. If he reached out, I would ignore him.

[NathanDavis]

two of my exes are two of my best friends today... lol

and yes, it is a friendship... none about that nostalgia and the past, we were way younger back then anyway, we are adult todays

[bolverk]

If either of my Ex's reached out to me the message/call would be left unanswered, they both cheated and broke the relevant relationship, once they did that they were dead to me. Nothing would induce me to let them back into my life - ever.

[Dargil]

Never, EVER look back. either she pulled the trigger or you did for a reason.

[provokeesmokee]

I mean, it's ok to also just be platonic friends with your ex if that can work.

[DreamLife7]

That sounds very insecure

[provokeesmokee]

Really? Being able to maintain friendships with appropriate boundaries is insecure? Sure.

[DreamLife7]

That is not appropriate boundaries just move on

[mobiusforniner]

I would agree with you but it’s really difficult to be friends with someone you gave your heart to. They were never just friends to begin with

[provokeesmokee]

It certainly isn't for everyone. But different strokes for different folks.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Just ignore and continue going on with life.

[Phoenix98]

Make it clear to her that I'd prefer if she didn't because I want nothing to do with her.

[TheGuyYouCrave]

F*ck me or F*ck off

[whistlingwh0res]

He must be frustrated and horny