Boyfriend/baby daddy playing mind games and break up games. Fed up?

We have lived together for 7 years. Called off an engagement early in relationship but stayed together. He was my first (but not only due to breakup). We had a child together now 4. He broke up with me for six months when our child was 7months old. Very cold hearted during this time. Dynamics of relationship a lot different after that. I took a lot of blame just to get him back. One of my most weak moments. He is an alcoholic but quit drinking 5 months ago (and no he has not been sneaking drinks swear to god). Fights have decreased since he sobered but still there a lot. Our child is special needs so it's stressful. I quit my job to take care of our child and bc his father wouldn't wake up in the morning to watch him. My bf does work at a bar so I understand the long hours the supporting us financially, etc... But I feel that he is selfish and as a father sometimes just has to be tired and spend time with his son, active time not just staring at a screen or tv. My bf calls me names when we fight, acts later on like it didn't happen or dismisses it. Never apologizes. I always have to be the bigger person. He recently called me a c*nt in front of our son. I told him he would be the model of behavior that our kid learns from but it rolls off him like water off a ducks back. Despite everything there are times when I care for him a lot. He is a hard person to love though. A very defiant personality. My family doesn't care for him much either, my best friend says he reminds her of a sleazy car salesman. We are both under stress, so I keep forgiving him or trying to not think about it, but how much is too much? He breaks up with me or threatens it all the time or tells me he isn't changing anymore and if I don't like it leave. This makes me so mad. He does this break up thing like he is in high school instead of being 32. The idea of starting all over with someone else eventually is scary. Advice.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You are ultimately the only one who can make a choice here. But I say move on. He will always be the boy's father and in your life to some degree the measure of which is up to you. But on a personal/romantic note perhaps it would be wiser to broaden your horizons and see what's out there. How long is too long? Whenever you decide, that's when. And the fact that you're even thinking this way tells me you are ready. Ready to be truly loved and appreciated. He is toxic and you should think about creating some serious boundaries at the very least. Sticking to them will be the real test.

    Good luck Sally.


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