Why is my ex acting like a jerk?

Me and my bf of 7 months had an on-again, off-again relationship. Recently we had a big fight, which led to him breaking up. Said fight is about a month ago now. We didn't talk to each other anymore other than texting sometimes, but basically I was the one to initiate contact usually. He always insisted on needing his time, so finally, I just ignored him. Last week I saw him at the local cafe I work at. We are in the same group of friends and so it just happened that another guy friend of mine was there too. For my break I went out to sit with them, ignoring my ex. Later in the evening, after he was gone and I was done with work, I got a text from him saying something like "are we never gonna talk to each other again". The sad ex girlfriend I was, I simply poured out my feelings saying I couldn't behave normal towards him as long as I loved and had feelings for him. I asked him if he still had feelings left for me, he said yes indeed he had feelings for me still and so I asked him if he wanted to talk again. He said yes. The day after that I asked when he wanted to talk and he said sometime next week. So this week on Monday I asked him when we were gonna talk. All of a sudden he said it would be a better idea to not talk anymore. Of course I couldn't accept that... I begged for him to talk to me and he started being very rude, and only mentioning the bad things about me and our relationship. Also, when my best friend (whom he is also friends with) told him I was gonna be somewhere when meeting our friends, his response was "I'm gonna ignore her perfectly", while knowing that my best friend would show the text to me. What am I supposed to think? Or do? I really want him back so please don't give me any advice on how to forget him. Why did he change his mind all of a sudden and how do I get him back and to talk to me again, even if it's not about what went wrong in the relationship?
Thank you


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What Guys Said 1

  • I appreciate you don't want any advice on forgetting him, but you should forget him. You hurt him by ignoring him, you dented his ego, and when you replied to his text and spilled out your heart you gave control back to him. He's not going to treat you well knowing you're madly in love with him and will beg him to talk to you, guys don't like that. Normal guys want a girl who will give them shit back if they ever treat them like shit, because that's what a confident woman (who doesn't need him) would do - forcing him to respect the girl he likes.

    What you were doing at first was awesome though, ignoring him I mean, it forced him to text you - made him want to contact you. You're problem was that you replied. I did that once, I upset a girl I was seeing and she gave me a horrible text that night and, as the naive kid I was, apologised with all my heart and basically begged her to forgive me. She said fine and, like you, I got ignored because I revealed that I needed her - and she didn't need me and thus felt I was too clingy.

    As hard as it is you should go back to ignoring him. Delete his number so you can't text, block him on Facebook (no need to unfriend him) so he doesn't pop up and remind you. He'll try everything he can to keep you as a willing back up, but that's all you are by the sounds of things, a relationship with regular break-ups doesn't work to be honest; but sometimes people fool themselves (and sometimes other people see this and take advantage of it, hint hint).

    • Horrible advice! I don't want my man to be my enemy! If you have to resort to tactics, ur done

What Girls Said 1

  • Just because two people BreakUp doesn't mean they can't and don't MakeUp and that it's Goodbye , my love forever. And with an "EX" that still Marks his X in your soft spot, where there is Motive, there is Opportunity if given And-------Are we never going to talk to one another again...
    As wise as an owl that I tend to be, I can pick up real Quick on a Scent that was Sent to you and the bottom line is because you put him at first on your own pay no mind list, giving him the cold shoulder at the café, sitting with friends, not bothering with him, this made him want to chase you, it was a challenge to him that this apple of his yesterday eye was way at the top of the tree, hardest to grab.
    And with you sweet talking him into "Talking," the chase, the challenge was suddenly History, for then it became Old, he didn't feel like doing it anymore and Now-----He started being very rude, and only mentioning the bad things about me and our relationship. He thought he could play this little game of cat and mouse and when the mouse was cornered, squealing with delight, the cat took him out of his mouth because the taste of Today was not what he wanted and now he is going on his merry way.
    The most you can really do right now is wait and see if he contacts you. By you trying to do the chasing, it will only make him more snotty and continue running down a beaten path, where you will only end up in a War of the Roses with him like you both did a long time ago.
    He had his fun, it was like a rough rodent run for him when you refused to acknowledge him. However, if you play your cards right and try this again, perhaps he will come back with his tail between his legs.
    But in my book of blunders, sweetie, you deserve better. He can't be trusted, he plays too many head and heart games and you can't Believe a word that he says and most likely will keep up this problem child pattern.
    Good luck. xx


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