My ex boyfriend committed suicide when I broke up with him.. should I be blamed?

Question

My boyfriend of 5 months and a good friend since last year committed suicide today (5 days after our official break up). I broke up with him because I was not happy at all. He always emotionally controlled me. And said he loved me. I loved him too but only for the first 4 months. Since last month only I know how I felt in the relationship. He used to threaten me with suicide everytime I tried breaking up (in the last month I tried breaking up with him twice but he threatened suicide and i'd always give in) Although he never really had the guts. We are 17. And this is a crucial year (academically) for our careers. He used to be a brilliant student but since this relationship , he kept me a priority (which I never supported and I PLEADED him to study) and he never let me study. It bugged him when I kept my academics prior to him. I ruined many of my exams because of him. He used to get mad at me for so small issues (I didn't reply to his I LOVE YOU texts if I was busy. I didn't say I love you whenever I was in a hurry) and I was the one who always tried to avoid fighting with him! He was not a perfect boyfriend either. But I never complained because I didn't want to fight!
And now when I finally decided to care for MY LIFE AND CAREER , I broke up with him.
I mean he was always super depressed most of the time because he had lousy parents who never care for him (thats what he told me I never met them) and so he emptionally dependent on me which is NOT healthy. But is this really my fault? Should I feel guilty for choosing my life over him?
before you answer I would request you to read a few of my previous questions regarding him.. they'll make the situation clearer for you. Thank you for you time.. i really need some answers right now

Alexei_Ustinov · Accepted Answer

Your boyfriend chose to make this unfortunate choice of his own free will. No one, and let me say NO ONE is ever worth your life. This is not your fault. That being said, this man from what you have said seems to be the most insecure person I have ever heard of. And he exhibited classic traits of a very unstable personality. He sounds to me like he suffered from low self esteem and massive insecurity. He used you to justify his existence, and blackmailed you into staying with him. He further used you just to make himself feel better about who he was, and be damned your feelings. You were absolutely right to want out of this unhealthy and horribly one-sided relationship. If this man loved you he would have shown you the right love and encouragement for your academic studies. He would have given you your own space. Being in a relationship is not about dominance, or power, it is about two people coming together to share their lives, and because together they make a damn good team and are a stronger team than they are individuals. This was not the case in your relationship. Take heart however, it sounds like you bent over backwards to be the best girlfriend you could. The bottom line is your boyfriend chose to throw away the most sacred gift of all: life. And he made this choice by his own free will. You cannot blame yourself for his mental instability. This is not your fault. You sound like a woman who has a lot of empathy and cares for people. This makes you a good person. But being responsible for his death? NO! Again, he chose to walk this dark path by his own free will, and you had no control over that whatsoever. If you are still having issues coping over this, I would suggest seeing a counselor. It is important not to bottle up your feelings, let them out. They need to come out. You have more people here to support you than perhaps you think. I mean look at all of us here giving you advice and support right? Stay strong and take heart!

Peter0 · Accepted Answer

Honey, (I'm in the American south, I can call you that :p)

He sounds like a manipulative (poor) bastard with mental health problems. Unless you were attacking him every day, then no, you didn't cause his suicide, and you weren't to blame.

Not answering texts does not count as "attacking."

Any time someone threatens to kill themself if you leave them, they're manipulating you. You DON'T need that in your life. And if you leave them, and then they kill themselves... it was their choice (probably a very poor choice) and partly they're doing it to hurt you (which this guy did).

If your insurance covers it, you might see about talking to a therapist for a few sessions (you could call your family doctor and give the nurse a brief synopsis and ask for a referral - they'll probably give you one without having to see you). It'd help you work things out.

As to being a crappy girlfriend, no, I don't think so. I don't think this guy COULD have had a "good" girlfriend. A normal person is going to accept that you are busy at work or whatever (texting something cute back IS awesome ;) But I'm sure you knew THAT). Focusing on your academic work is 100% reasonable! ... More than reasonable, it's probably the "better" thing to do. A guy who is interested in you *has to* accept that you have a life outside of him. We all have our own lives, and just because we're dating someone doesn't mean they end.

You're in a really crappy place here and you don't deserve it :( I wish you well and lots of luck!

ButtHearth · Accepted Answer

I'm going to be brutally honest. Yes, it was most likely at least partially your fault. Every other sentence of your little rant was an insult directed at him. It seems you want to put all the blame on you just to absolve yourself of any personal guilt. I would not be surprised if throughout the whole relationship you was telling him the same crap you spewed in your question, telling him he's "emotionally manipulating you" for expecting you to say you love him back or set aside time for him instead of just studying all the time. I get that college is important, but what is the point of being successful and having a career if you don't have love? Basically, you acted cold toward him, withholding affection, and putting him on the back burner for school. Do you know who Amanda Todd is? She flashed her tits to some random guy on the internet, and he called her a slut, so she chugged a bunch of bleach and killed herself. That guy is in jail now. There is a huge double standard when it comes to suicide. Men who kill themselves are demonized and vilified so that their abusers feel better. Women who kill themselves are avenged by the full force of the law, no matter what petty reason there is behind it. I assure you, if a guy posted this question, everyone would be tearing him a new asshole for driving some poor innocent woman to suicide.

BuchitaBuchys · Accepted Answer

This is pretty tough to deal with, but it was not your fault. The poor kid was just emotionally unstable, and he didn't know how to cope with these emotions and issues. You weren't a bad girlfriend either. It's normal to have fights, even if they are or aren't your fault. But it's not healthy at all to try to have your SO to stay by threatening suicide. I honestly feel bad for this poor child cuz it sounds like he desperately needed to cope with his depression, and it sounds like he needed a therapist and not a girlfriend.

I had a similar experience. But I never dated the guy, I was friends with him. And he didn't actually go through with his suicide threat (thankfully!!) He told me if I didn't date him, he would kill himself because he didn't want to imagine a world without me. It was horrible for me to hear this, I cannot imagine hearing that from an SO and then them actually doing it.

May your friend RIP. You are not to blame. I'd advise you to seek a counselor as well because this is a pretty big issue for such a young lady to have been through. Never be afraid to seek help. It doesn't make you a coward or "pussy", it makes you human.

Yellowbone · Accepted Answer

No, it is not your fault that he CHOSE to commit suicide. It's natural for you to feel bad about the situation, but it's not your fault, nonetheless.

I really wouldn't listen to any of the people here who say it IS your fault. The only person that is responsible for his own health, whether mental or physical, is himself. Although you ARE supposed to care about his well-being in general, relationships (especially romantic ones) are only for those who are mentally stable. A relationship is not a parenting nor a babysitting scenario. You are not his mother nor his babysitter. Especially since you said that you at least tried to convince him to get help.

You are young. You cannot waste YOUR life & sanity trying to babysit someone else. Especially if he is emotionally blackmailing you. That is abuse, in case you didn't know. Some of these people commenting claim to be adults yet think it's okay to blame other people for their own problems & issues. In fact, you have a right to be selfish with your own life. If someone is dragging you down mentally, you need to cut them out of your life & let them be an adult & deal with their own issues.

SammyGurl · Accepted Answer

No, you shouldn't. You cannot control another persons emotions. He obviously tried with you and couldn't; so how could you breaking up directly cause him to end his life.

He seems like a very disturbed, selfish person in the first place. Recently read something that mentioned suicide as the ultimate act of selfishness, sadly that was the first thing that popped iny head while reading this.

You can no longer be controlled by him, you need to do whatever you need to do for yourself to pick up the pieces and get back to your life. Talk to a counselor or your parents if you are able, I know I could talk to my Mom likea big sister if that happened.

Don't be put off by some of the strange answers you've been given here. it is hard for many to put aside their western culture to understand yours. I know I had to think this over before I responded to this. I actually read your post an hour or so ago, it bothered me, I mean I hurt for you. No matter what culture you live in it still hurts when someone who has been close ends their life. I am so sorry you are even going through this.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

No, hapyshiny, you are not at fault. However, knowing that he was like this, this emotional roller coaster that ended tragically in a train wreck, perhaps you could have guided him in the Right direction in seeking help for his emotional issues. But even with this, it may not have been much help, for he was using you for his pity wagon, attaching himself to your caboose for a life support life line by always Threatening--------Suicide and I'd always give in...
People who have these tendencies many times use someone to Enable them to keep going by leaning on them as their only hope for survival. And when they see or think their anchor is gone, they feel lost in the sea and find no reason to continue to swim... instead end up floating like a fish out of water...
Move on from this thought... he had mental hangups that needed professional help. He most likely wouldn't have gotten this unless his suicide attempt had failed and he was somewhere where he could have begun his beguine of having no choice but to Accept this 9/11 call.
Good luck. xx

spidersspiders · Answer

I was broken up with a year ago and I depressive and suicidal for a longtime afterward. I dont blame my ex for that now and I didn't blame them then. Because it wasn't about them it was more existential. It was my role in life and what I could and couldnt do. The main issue in my mind was the conflict that everyone says stuff like "you matter!" "your a wonderful person" "people love you" but at the same time I had no one who cared enough to vent to, I sure as hell didn't feel like a good person considering I drove the one person who I cared about above all else a girl I had liked ever since the first moment I saw her and the girl who was head over heels in love with me to hating me. The future didn't look all that bright. I mean was that all I had to look forward to? Little bursts of great feeling ending in complete heartbreak and emptiness? It sure felt that way. Hell, still might be that way, I haven't been in any relationships since and I may very well simply be a toxic person who is unlovable. However I've decided to live for now. After two failed attempts I didn't want to risk failing and getting caught with a third. Bottom line is, its not her fault I expect if anything im toxic. But its more than that its me critically thinking about whether life is worth living without love and whether I want to keep going.

parkway · Answer

Looks like he is using love as a weapon. Him committing killing himself is totally different from other people who have gone through a trauma. Just think and feel blessed that you were not apart of a plan to take you with him. If he had belived in heaven or hell then he would have never done it.

Sounds like he is still trying to lay a guilt trip on you. The problem is his parents did not introduce love or God into his life. He was never taught that in order to love you he must love himself and that God is love.

Looks like all you saw of his love was the evil side of it. Love is not evil.

In all persons life there is a good and bad times and in his bad times he chose to quit and hurt as many people as possible. In death he is still trying to hurt you and make your dreams, goals and desires suffer.

If you were baptized you would comand the Holy Spirit to give you peace and finish your finals, if you are not find a way for future bad times. Life is a lot nicer knowing your Creator is present in your bad and good times.

Good luck and don't let him continue to exist in your mind when he is not paying rent.

Anonymous · Answer

It sounds like he had personal issues regardless of you... possibly something like depression or bi-polar. These are clinically depressed people that can commit suicide over almost anything. Iv lived a similar life as you describe and its very very very hard.

I was always wrong and always the bad person no matter what. Its like walking on egg shells. You can be the best bf/gf and its really not enough because there a whole inside of them that just can't be filled by anything but them to be ok.

Its not your fault at all! You can't blame yourself, regardless of you this might of easily happened for any other reason possible. However I know in my relationship that you may have not done, I stuck by her side even though it was HORRIBLE. I never left her because I knew there was something wrong outside of us. I could not have abandoned a person feeling so dark and cold. I had to help her no matter what, even if it cost me some years ill never get back, it was never worth having them do something Id regret forever.

I think in your case your still young and not very experienced in life, probably without much knowledge on conditions like this. I on the other hand am very education in this area and I have a heart of steel. So I can't expect anyone to have gone through what I did to save her... here's the reality, You could have done more by understanding him and being there through thick and thin, you don't have to marry him, but you don't have to abandon him during his darkest times either. However, thats going above beyond, its really not your fault at all! Believe me on this

Anonymous · Answer

First of all, sorry about this whole ordeal. Nevertheless, I'd be lying if I said you're 'blameless'. Seeing how unstable he was, you should've handled the matter differently, like postponed the break up till his circumstances got better or reached out to his family/friends. You could have at least helped him find an alternative outlet. In fact, you don't seem too saddened by his demise, just disturbed by your own conscience if anything. You say you loved him those 4 months, yet you seem to know very little about his background and his issues. I'm sorry but frankly, you sound like a pretty selfish bitch. Yes, he was responsible for his own life, but when you truly love (or genuinely care for) someone, you'll try and help them out to recovery before you give up on them, and you've failed him in that aspect. You're still a kid anyways, one day when you're grown and have sons of your own, you'll understand.

srslyly · Answer

At your age, I wouldn't have known to report a suicide threat from someone I knew, or that a suicide ultimatum from a significant other is abuse that you should run from, or that abuse often (as in this case) comes from a state of feeling powerless. The only thing you could have done differently would have been to leave sooner and more loudly (i. e. tell someone about his threats). But that doesn't make it your fault. He made his choice, and it's done. You don't have to make excuses or tell strangers how bad he was.

springocelot · Answer

I read your other questions. It's not your fault at all. You acted like most people when they believe relationships have to end. Staying with him any longer would have drained you too. You cannot help someone who is so psychologically damaged unless they seek help themselves. He did not. The break-up was merely a tipping point for him of whatever he was facing before he even met you.

PinkAcid · Answer

no its not your fault, you can't be expected to stay in a relationship out of fear the other person will kill themselves. some people actually try to control their partner and stop them from leaving by threatening to kill themselves and its viewed as emotional blackmail, most people who threaten suicide in relationships never mean it they bluff to make their partner stay and you could never know if he really meant it or not especially as he threatened to kill himself many times and never did it.
he sounds like he was a really bad boyfriend, that is a lot of controlling and overly clingy behaviour for a 4 month relationship, it must have been suffocating for you. he chose to end his life not you, you aren't at fault here he was unstable emotionally and mentally.

DoriantheArtisan · Answer

hey i don't blame you but why did you enter a relationship who obviously had deep rooted issues? I wouldn't blame the guy so hard. depression is an illness, meaning the persn is sick. you shouldn't blame a sick person. he had a much harder time with himself than he had with his sorroundings. calling him stupid, crazy is just another example how society still hasn't advanced. people getting blamed for being sick and such, kinda disgusting if you ask me. a mentally sick person is not in charge of their behaviour. normally functioning dumbasses of course don't get that. people with depression, make very poor relationship material because they doubt everything around and mostly themselves, in fact they shouldn't even be in a relationship. they need help. poor guy killed himself, guess how people feel that were close to him.(parents) food for thought.

pookiebear29 · Answer

he had deep issues far before you, the break up might have caused him to kill himself but YOU are NOT the reason he killed himself. HE committed suicide, you didn't commit anything. This has to be so hard and confusing on you, but just understand that you were never and are not responsible for his life. You just so happen to be a part of it. I would suggest just coming to terms with his death and finding the strength in yourself to accept the outcome of his life and move forward with yours, you're still young and you have so much growing up to do and so much possibilities in the future. You didn't do anything wrong, if anything you saved yourself from something that could've eventually damaged you as well. Just focus on yourself and keep your head up. good luck!

bootycamp4me · Answer

1 - You are NEVER at fault for someone committing suicide. His depression triggered it which is a very well known cause. It is unfortunate that he did not seek help.

2 - My Son attempted suicide. I speak with some authority. I understand depression. I understand some people wrestle with being gay which triggers suicide. Im sure there are other reasons but those Im familiar with.

3 - Im sorry for you because you certainly cared for him even if you wanted to break up. This is a big burden and you should talk to a counselor about it

lightbulb27 · Answer

I didn't read that far as looks like this question is very old. I'd wonder more about you... are you a "caregiver", empathetic. Two boyfriends in a row commit suicide... that is rare but a pattern to observe. doesn't mean you are a bad person, not your fault. But whom are you choosing, how can you choose better so you have a stable person not one that is relying on you. A therapist have to dig into the details and I'd suggest that to figure out what is going on.

People will threaten to kill themselves, that happens. Actually doing so or worse killing each other, is not so often. These emotional situations are very difficult and test us to deep levels of life and death.

I hope you recover.

FMGT500SS · Answer

I'd have to agree. People don't commit suicide for a relationship not working out. You probably were the only thing keeping him from doing what his been thinking of doing for many years now. Eventually after your relationship passed the "new" stage he would have probably done it anyway, leaving you with more heart ache and that wouldn't be fair to you either. Problem is, some people are just not strong enough for every thing life throws our way. It doesn't mean you or anyone else should hold you accountable.

MaskedSanity · Answer

Gotta love the brainless morons, who think it's your fault this tool offed himself.

I don't see why you bother answering those comments. These are the same people, who will blame you for getting raped if you wear a short skirt, tell you that women having the freedom to choose who to date is ruining society and think abortion should be the sole decision of the guy.

Don't agrue with stupid people: they'll drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

Anonymous · Answer

It sounds like you were in a very toxic relationship. The guy needed help. It was not your fault. It was his choice to commit suicide. Perhaps you could have told someone about it, but really, how could you have known he'd go through with those threats? To me, it would sounded like he was trying to manipulate me into staying with him. I'd advise you to seek counseling about this because not only did you just get out a bad relationship, but you're also dealing with guilt from his suicide. You need someone else to talk to besides people on this site. My dad committed suicide when I was a kid and it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Counseling helped. My mother went through a rough time where she believed it was her fault, and she was so emotional about it that she couldn't raise us properly. I imagine this is really interfering with your life. You don't want it to take over.

Anonymous · Answer

The thing about it is, he was depressed. His life was crappy, everything was crappy. Just think about being in a dark room for majority of your life and then all of a sudden you see a light. You would want more and more of that light. He probably was madly emotionally in love with you because you bought light into his darkness. Yes every relationship have their fights and yes you both were fighting over petty things. Although he said he loves you and you didn't respond because your were busy, he probably thought you was ignoring him or didn't feel the same way as of him. We all know this answer to your question. It's a yes then again a no. You broke up with him knowing he would probably commit sucide - no I wouldn't say its all your fault. Might be some of the reason (others might play a role in it too.)

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

It was not your fault at all. He had issues way deeper than your relationship. I am very sorry that this happened to you. You might want to consider some sort of therapy to work through the issues.

Mesonfielde · Answer

He was unstable, your action just triggered him. If he was emotionally guilt tripping you to stay, you did the right thing. It was his own choice to kill himself, therefore it is his responsibility and not yours.

Rcjh1987 · Answer

Sounds like he was like that before.. You can't stay in a toxic relationship.. It doesn't help his parents didn't care about him... he was trying to feel the void that he wasn't getting from his parents... so he was investing all of his time into you rather than focussing on studies... this isn't your fault. If anyone there blames you don't listen.. Chin up buttercup!!!

Anonymous · Answer

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I can't say if you were a bad girlfriend but you don't seem like one.

I think he had issues way deeper than your relationship with him and you didn't do anything wrong by breaking up.

Tbh threatening suicide is a kind of abuse. He was trying to control you to make you stay. He really needed help.

My only thing would be that it would have been best if you told someone, but it's okay because you didn't know. You guys are really young.

Don't blame yourself for this. He chose to end his life- it was his decision. The breakup triggered it but that's not your fault- you had good reasons for wanting to end it.

Don't feel guilty and you may want to consider therapy to work out your issues. I hope things get better.

koibito · Answer

It's not your fault. From what I read, you were as much of a victim in this relationship too.

I think you should try your best not to think too much about what happened to him, because you have tried to be accommodating to him and suffered yourself as well. But it's your responsibility to protect yourself and your future, and hence your decision was correct. It is also his decision to end his life, not your fault.

fullmoonlove92 · Answer

No, you should not blame yourself for his actions. What he did to you in the relationship was controlling and abusive. I can only speak from experience because I have battled suicidal thoughts, but only because I believed no one cared about me, including my parents. It was absolutely right for you to focus on your studies instead of a relationship. I pray that you realize that you are not a crappy girlfriend. You were dealing with someone who was not emotionally stable; he should have been going to a therapist instead of initiating fights and imposing abusive tactics in a relationship. Peace.

WhoisntBi · Answer

Definitely not it was his choice & he shouldn't have tried to emotionally blackmail you or control you like that. He clearly had some kind if emotional ir mental health problem and probably would've done it at some point anyway no matter if you were involved or not

SailorMercury · Answer

I'm sorry to hear this. But it's not your fault. Your happiness comes first. Your life comes first. You shouldn't be blamed for someone else's actions. He chose to end his life. Maybe it was because of you that he did, but honestly, it's not your fault.

cth96190 · Answer

You cannot stay in a relationship that you do not want to be in because of what you think someone might do.
Ultimately, each of us is responsible for our own actions. He chose to terminate his life. That was his decision, not your decision for him.
I have contemplated suicide seriously many times, once because of what a girl did. Had I pulled the trigger back then, it would not have been her "fault", it would have been my decision.
Move one.

Inuyasha86 · Answer

Honestly, you shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with him in the first place. Your mistake was getting into the relationship, not the breaking up part. You mentioned he was always super depressed. What were you thinking getting into a relationship like that if you were not going to be able to cope with it? Don't become someone's emotional support and then take it away.

madhatters4 · Answer

no. you are not to be blamed. you didn't want to be in a relationship. you didn't make the choices for him that he made after that. you may feel some guilt and that is natural. some may look at you as a cause, and while that is unfair it is in human nature to find tangible causes for the things that happen

clearly something was wrong in his head that led him to the decision he made.

Patrickcarpen · Answer

It depends on a lot of factors such as whether you deliberately misled him, went into the relationship with the wrong intentions etc. Only God knows the heart and Only God can judge. We should think about what the other person is expecting before entering a relationship, how they might feel about a breakup, the consequences a breakup might result in etc. My feelings is that anyone who breaks up with someone who then committed suicide is selfish and heartless but I am not God and I do not know it all.

The_Eternal_Emperor · Answer

He was disturbed long before you two met. He needed help that he never got. Do not blame yourself for his suicide. This issue goes so much deeper than you. When someone becomes so emotionally dependent on another that they cannot live without you, that should be a red flag that they need help. Do not beat yourself up over this. You did what you could, but he is gone now. Let the healing process begin and live your life in honor of his memory. His suffering is over now.

Anonymous · Answer

You did all the right things, you can't be held to ransom! You are not to blame!

People like that are a powder keg, if it's not one thing that sets them off it's another. You can't be expected to sacrifice your life to keep somebody afloat because they've lost their shit... at 17, after just 5 months together. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see it.

I'm quoting Robin Williams: "It's not your fault."

exitseven · Answer

You are not to blame. You should not have been put in this position. He did this to you. It was a really horrible thing to do.

He was a deeply troubled kid, you could not save him. Nobody could save him. It sounds like he had his mind made up.

He is in a better place now, you have to concentrate on that.

Jackblue · Answer

He sounds like a very unstable character. To tell you the truth I think when he made suicide threats the best thing you could have done for him was to call the men in white coats. I do not think it is your fault he commit suicide. He probably would have done so anyway sooner or later even if you had not broken up with him. It is sad though that nobody could save him.

DIzzlegamespro · Answer

Not your fault at all be had issues beyond the relationship and do not take blame for it because in the end is not your decision for another person's life what he did is bad he should have listened to You and let you do what you want and he should have studied instead of skipping it but I hope you don't take blame and wish you luck in your exams and stuff and how you find the right person

Anonymous · Answer

Well in hindsight it might have been your duty to contact someone that could help him as you were the only one capable of doing so as I doubt he told anyone else and he was clearly not in the mind to do it himself before breaking up with him while you knew that he was mentally unstable and suicidal.

DARKCLOUD1945X · Answer

Not your fault in the least. Basically, he was looking for an excuse to end his life as hard as it is for you to recognize. He was screaming for help but his family, teachers, friends and doctor that failed him not you. Do take care of your own mental health from this tragedy which is weighing very heavily on you. Seek help there is nothing to be ashamed about.

jeffend888 · Answer

Sounds like you dodged a huge problem. You're 27 - your main focus should be marriage and nuclear family right now with someone who is stable sans mental and financial issues and comes from a good family.

You've been granted a gigantic opportunity. Don't screw it up.

Xelebrum · Answer

You did not do anything wrong. Please don't blame yourself for his actions. I've been in the same exact situation with an ex-girlfriend of mine, but I was lucky enough to escape without her killing herself. You are NOT at fault here.

catpetter · Answer

This is vety sad. very sad. but not your fault. his sad stressful life and depression are what made him a difficultn boyfriend. And his suicide is very sad, but you did not cause his depression, you could not control it and you could not cure it.

lostsoul24 · Answer

No don't feel responsible. Just like you said, you didn't initiate the fights, he did. That shows he's mentally unstable and had underlying psychological problems. Don't feel bad hun, he should've reached out for help.

lovestruck12 · Answer

no this is not your fault at all, you are not resposnible for someone else's happyness. this is very tragic and sad. however this is not a reflection of you…. his problems was way deeper than you.

Quigly · Answer

Nothing wrong with you, there was clearly something wrong with him. Emotions shouldn't be running that high when a relationship is just at the boyfriend girlfriend stage. There's nothing really invested.

Sure, there might be some disappointment that the relationship didn't continue if it seemed to be going well. There shouldn't be anything extreme. extreme emotions and behaviour is a big red flag.

lovekid123 · Answer

Yu weren't a crappy girlfriend he was a crabby boyfriend. You shouldn't blame your self. He killed him self not you. Don't blame yourself. Also is there a chance if u can possibly send a picture on what he looks like, I am just curious.

Toldol2 · Answer

You are young and it is an opportunity for you to think about the reasons you ended in such an unhealthy relationship, and you are not responsible for anyone who has no to little respect gor his own life.

SuperMommie13 · Answer

Your not to blame for him killing hisself, that's his choice alone. But I feel you are to blame for not getting him help or at least talking him into seeing a counselor.

Tokana · Answer

So he devoted his life to you and you broke up with him. I hope you guys here are reading this question. Don't be like him.

AutumnRoseBlood · Answer

it's not your fault. How were you supposed to know he was going to do that? It's not like you encouraged him to do it or mistreated him in any way. Nobody's going to blame... except for maybe the parents. Stay clear of them.

sonicdrew · Answer

you're not the one to blame, he took his own life, don't blame yourself, he needed help, and he needed to help himself or others to help him, not your fault all

Jerusha · Answer

So a FRIEND, and an EX committed a suicide, and you have the nerves to log in, and ask questions?

Diego9O · Answer

Don´t blame yourself for what he did. He needed professional help. The decision he took to take away his life I imagine it was fill with excuses. It was never your fault.

Klaatu51 · Answer

hope all this post is a joke, and not real, because i can't believe there are people who would commit suicide because a girl broke up with them

RenoAGambler · Answer

I don't know what to say. I've been with crazy chicks like that more than once. It's hard to shake the feeling that it's your fault. SMH

Mr_Xavier · Answer

You cannot blame yourself for the actions of others.

JackKerouac77 · Answer

All I can say is that I'm sorry. It's now time to pick up the pen and start writing the next chapter. Learn from the previous chapters.

rjroy3 · Answer

No you shouldn't be blamed for his death. You might want to talk to a therapist to sort out where your emotions are and help you process

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

No, Your boyfriend had some serious issues and should have been in therapy. That isn't on you.

Anonymous · Answer

first of all, why did you not tell adults/police/anyone about how he is threatening his life? that is the extremely important part here... tho it doesn't matter anymore, looks like this was like 10 years ago.

girllovesquestions · Answer

All I can say is that this is really sad. He had issues, shame. But its not ur fault,  I don't know what to say, but I'll pray for you.😐😶❤

Keyspirits · Answer

I think one of thee BIGGEST reason for people to get in Relationship is to recieve emotional support as well besides physical support? Tell meh if im wrong ;P

StickStickity13 · Answer

You should of warned someone of his suicide threats. You should feel guilty for not trying to help him.

slatyb · Answer

Absolutely not. He made the choice. You and no obligation to sacrifice your life to emotional blackmail.

ShaeNielson · Answer

No of course not, you have no fault in this. He would probably have done it anyways. You shouldn't feel bad at all.

My ex boyfriend committed suicide when I broke up with him.. should I be blamed?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

My ex boyfriend committed suicide when I broke up with him.. should I be blamed?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.