Boyfriend never asks how I am or how was my day?

[Anonymous]

He is overall a good guy and I love him. But ever since we started dating he never showed any mature interest in my life. At the begining we were like horny kids and now after 3 years together I feel like I matured but he stayed a horny kid. He would never ask me how was my day, or how is my new project going, or how am I. He asks what I'm doing and then when I don't give clear answers he starts questioning where am I and with who I am. Like for example if I got cold, he won't even ask me the next day if I'm feeling better. I talked about this with him and he just said "well if something happened or you want to talk about something, just say it" and then continues beng the way he is. He is a good listener and would always listen but he barely asks questions. It's really confusing, makes me feel like he is not interested, but then again when I do bring stuff up he is more then happy and interested to talk about that topic. Should I break up?

[Anonymous]

Hell no. Sorry for my language but you sound ridiculous to me. Unfortunately I know majority of women are going to agree. I'm gonna tell you a story of a man and women who've been married 25 years. Both of them work different jobs. They don't talk much about them. When one gets sick they usually keep to them self and if they need something they ask. They rarely go on dates. And when one off them gets upset they talk to each other or other their siblings. You see this couple isn't emotionally dependent on each other. When they married they didn't become the only thing in thier life just the most important. These are my parents my dad doesn't bother my mom with his anger at his project manger and my mom doesn't complain about that knew receptionist. They both accepted they married an imperfect human and they try to handle as much as they can independently. And when they can't that's when they pull through for each other. They don't depend they support. You don't need someone to do those things for you you just want i. And if you feel like you need it he may not be the best place to go. My dad may need advice on how to handle a situation at work who does he ask? His brother because he works in a similar field not his wife. If he's got a problem with me or my brother then he talks to my mom. Your spouse isn't suppose to be everything to you. your suppose to do as much as you can on your own and your spouse is that person that walks up behind you and whispers you can do it before they push you forward. Or at least that's what I've been told. Your not two halves of a whole marriage but two wholes that've decided to walk together

[Asker]

So if your dad gets fired your mom won't ask what happened? Sounds like a really interesting marriage. My boyfriend would probably just say "oh that sucks baby, but you'll find another one".

[Phantom-menace1234]

QA yeah but you shouldn't be relying on someone for your happiness or help you to solve your problems. Before you get into a relationship, you should be completely independent of each other. If you are desperate and needy person, and your boyfriend is the same, its guaranteed your relationships want last. Its not real, and its fake. If your married, you shouldn't be completely dependent on that person at all. relationships is about sharing. not helping, or relying someone. If you are always relying on your boyfriend for something, then your relationship, will never last. I bet your relationship will end in a couple of weeks or years, but it won't last. That's fact.

[Opinion Owner]

If my dad got fired my mom would ask do you want to talk about it just because that's a big thing and he'd probably say no not yet and they'd squash it and start working on getting their finances straight. My dad sits quietly when he's upset till he figures it out my mom calls her sisters or does something to distract herself. They both cope differently. And honestly that reaction seems about normal in my fam. The way I grew up both my parents had the same reaction to everything in my life "if you need us we're here". They asked once and left it alone. They never pried or convinced me they had all the answers they left me to work things out on my own but made it clear that they were there if I needed it. Because you're the only one that fully understands your problems. I love them for that. They're different people so over time they came to accept their differences and focus on the things that do work like their sense of humor and shared values. They laugh a lot and that's love to me.

[Opinion Owner]

Somewhere in time people cooked up this lie about what marriage is or should be when the truth is every marriage is going to be different. That perfect marriage is a myth. My parents don't talk everything out but they laugh a lot together and know if things go sour they've got each other's back. My ex girlfriends mom's been married three times. One to the super romantic playboy who eventually quit, another to the super protective guy, and lastly to the rich sensitive guy. She's divorced again. And I honestly believe it's because she marries the person who fits her idea of dream guy at the time until she gets disappointed by reality. My parents both came from really shitty situations my dad's dad died when he was 12 and my mom had a four year old son when they met. They didn't look for a perfect spouse they looked for a friend and accepted them and adapted to their shortcomings.

[S4LOLJK]

it is not that he does not care about you or what he's doing it really is just a guy thing me and my fiance had that same problem and she thought I didn't love her but its not like that at all guys usually tend to have a lot of stress or financial issues or any other sort of things on their mind and they're so caught up in trying to fix their problems the taking on somebody else's its just too much especially since girls just want people to listen and guys want to fix it I'm sure when you're talking about certain things and he tries telling you how to fix it it makes things worse which frustrates the both of you so he probably just skips to not talking like I said I'm sure he has feelings for you and I'm sure he cares he just doesn't ask if you really want to tell him then when you're not doing anything like watching TV or whatever like if you're driving down the road or if there is just silence just start talking about it and see how he responds yes I understand the guys and girls obviously operate in two completely different ways

[GunnerGirl]

Oh I get it everyday... it honestly sometimes gets repetitive that I'd say "the same" "same as yesterday" xD
It's cute though

You shouldn't break up over that, you can bring up the topic about it and let him think about it... does he say good morning at least or a hi?

[Asker]

Oh ye he does, every good morning and every goodnight. Everything besides what I wrote is good in our relationship. He likes to talk about stuff and people and movies and books, but never initiates talking about our actual lives separately. There was this one really important interview for a job that I went to and I was super nervous about, when I nailed it I called him and said "I got the job!" and he only said "niiiice baby!". It would be nice if he asked me how did the interview go. But he didn't, so I had to tell it.

[GunnerGirl]

I love it when he says gm and gn that shows me that he cares...
Don't break up over that thing... it's just one thing above all the good things he is, and you can do something about it so ya
Talk to him about it if it bothers you
Just write a list of all the good things and all the bad things and see for yourself ^^

[Phantom-menace1234]

So why don't you speak to him about it? Just might he is that sort of person, and doesn't like asking to many questions, cause I know don't do that sort of stuff either, Its just kind trivial. Maybe he is just one of those guys, that just get on with it.

I mean to keep asking how your day is, and asking it everyday, is it boring and repetitive anyway. I mean I could understand, if you came home crying, and he didn't ask you, what is wrong, then really he is not the guy you want to be with.

There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He's going to hurt your feelings. He's going to say things that you don't want him to say. He's going to do things you wish he wouldn't do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ''I'd rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone.

[Jersey1]

It is more important to women than men to have such questions asked. Eventually he will see it is important and ask it every now and then. I do but didn't always, it isn't how I think.

[Klaatu51]

if he NEVER asks then it means he doesn't give a shit bout u... so...

[Anonymous]

you should break up.