This is a fairly new relationship, just a couple months. He usually calls me when he gets off work and talks on his way home until he gets back to his apartment and it's becoming increasingly apparent that he NEVER asks questions about me. I'll get a very general how are you at the very beginning and when I inevitably return that with "I'm pretty good, how are you?" it immediately becomes all about him. Even when I do tell him something about my day that he probably didn't ask for, he just says "yeah" or something and that's all. He never seems interested.
We got off the phone just a few minutes ago and I'm just feeling really sad and unvalued because I specifically didn't offer any unsolicited information just to see if he would ever think to ask me what I had done today or literally anything that wasn't about him and he never did. Not a single time. The most I said about myself was "I'm good."
I am perfectly happy to talk about his day, listen to his frustrations, etc. I always ask follow up questions about hist stories, remember things he's told me in the past and refer back to them... I mean I make it pretty clear that I care what he's up to and what matters to him and I'm here to listen. But that doesn't mean I don't want him to do the same.
Next time I see him (if he ever thinks to ask me to come over again - haven't seen him in over a week now and every time I suggest a potential time I'm available he doesn't really respond), I really want to have a conversation about how he's making me feel and see if he's willing to step it up and put it in some more work because I can't sustain a relationship that is this one sided. I really like this guy and don't want to give it up yet but if things continue down this path, it's just not worth it. How can I word this gently so he understands where I'm coming from and that I feel hurt, but doesn't feel attacked or blamed? I'm honestly not sure he even realizes that he isn't asking me anything.
We got off the phone just a few minutes ago and I'm just feeling really sad and unvalued because I specifically didn't offer any unsolicited information just to see if he would ever think to ask me what I had done today or literally anything that wasn't about him and he never did. Not a single time. The most I said about myself was "I'm good."
I am perfectly happy to talk about his day, listen to his frustrations, etc. I always ask follow up questions about hist stories, remember things he's told me in the past and refer back to them... I mean I make it pretty clear that I care what he's up to and what matters to him and I'm here to listen. But that doesn't mean I don't want him to do the same.
Next time I see him (if he ever thinks to ask me to come over again - haven't seen him in over a week now and every time I suggest a potential time I'm available he doesn't really respond), I really want to have a conversation about how he's making me feel and see if he's willing to step it up and put it in some more work because I can't sustain a relationship that is this one sided. I really like this guy and don't want to give it up yet but if things continue down this path, it's just not worth it. How can I word this gently so he understands where I'm coming from and that I feel hurt, but doesn't feel attacked or blamed? I'm honestly not sure he even realizes that he isn't asking me anything.
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