I can't stay mad at my ex boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I can't stay mad at my ex. Just recently my cousin asked my ex if he thinks I'm pretty and my ex said I'm really ugly... I was really sad and hurt by his words. However, I acted like if I was okay. That same day I saw my ex and I was set to ignore him because I'm too chicken to confront him. I just couldn't stay mad at him though and started to talk to him like if he hasn't crushed my feelings. My friends say I forgive too easily and can't stay mad... Is that a bad thing? Also I need help to not forgive people so easily, I've known for giving more chances than people deserve and I get hurt because of it.(I'm 14)

[Ozanne]

Wow, this is a first! Usually people have the worst time forgiving and moving on from things. Now here you are doing it and not seeming to have an issue with doing it either. It is such a strength to be able to shake something off and forgive someone for hurting you. I only wish I could do it. I was just talking to a guy in Take I wrote about this and how forgiving and moving on was no big deal for him, but I confessed it really was for me. I forget NOTHING. And the worst part is that over 41 years I have this mental filing cabinet full of crap even from people who are no longer in my life. I simply can't find a way to just take inventory of this stuff and get rid of it. Even though I'm all for moving forward and not looking back, I still never forget though. I can move forward and hope for better things, but as soon as some crap comes up from someone, it triggers my memory and reminds me that I never let something go at all.

So NO, don't try and lose this ability to forgive and move on. It's something I absolutely envy and wished I could have developed more in my personality from the time I was young so I didn't feel this way now. You are very lucky to be able to do this, and know that people say stupid shit all the time and what they say and think of you is their business and you seem to beautifully recognize this and not let it get to you because you know the truth. Your ex wouldn't have even have been with you had he really thought that way. He's just saying it to be a dick because he's an ex and isn't thinking. Especially to your cousin? Come on. Totally dumb remark and you had the strength to know that.

I'm a believer in second chances, but not thirds. Anyway, whatever your secret is, you should write a myTake about it here. More people should learn the art of forgiveness and on top of that learn how to not let things bother them so much and to let go completely. Sure things hurt - at first. But if you know how to discard them from your life, you have a real gift then. Don't try to change that! :)

[Ozanne]

Thanks for MH :)

[Codex22]

He knows your cousin is going to tell you what he said and he wants a rise out of you. He dated you so he thinks you're attractive. If he harbors bad low after the breakup or he's a prick looking for a reaction that's why he's saying malicious things. I would laugh if my ex called me ugly because he's the one who wanted me lol

[Bango]

You're young
You're full of energy
It's very normal
It'll get better with time
Don't worry about it
And maybe your ex just wanted to get under your skin :)

[MadeInAmerica]

Develop a mean streak or people will walk all over you in life.