How to stop staring at someone you like?

Question

I have liked this girls for over two years and she goes to the same school
I want to stop staring at her because most of the time she is with her boyfriend and it hurts looking at her but it's hard to stop. Whenever I look at her, she is hugging him or kissing him
She seems happy and that is great, really. 

I want to not want to look at her, it hurts so much. I want to get over her

ps. I know that people say that you need to go out with friends and meet other people but it hasn't worked

AgentOfChaos · Accepted Answer

No. Dude, don't listen to what everyone else on here is telling you. Don't waste your time & energy by repeating to yourself "I don't like her anymore" or "she has a boyfriend and I will never have her". That's some bullshit that won't produce any realistic results. This is what you MUST DO :
1. Approach a single girl you're attracted to that you're pretty sure you can get, and begin flirting with her. Seriously; flirting only at first! This will warm her up to you and compel her to develop a crush on you. It will also determine whether there's any chemistry and compatibility between the two of you.
2. Make genuine overtures to this new girl. Do not approach her wanting her purely for helping you get over the girl you're in love with. As you develop a chemistry and rapport between each other you'll find yourself thinking more & more about her because you know this is a girl you can likely get.
3. If this process simply isn't working–either from still not making any progress in losing your feelings for the original girl or you can't find a new single girl who likes you in return–then your only recourse is to tell the original girl whom you're infatuated with about your intense feelings for her even though she has a boyfriend. You have to do this! It can only produce a desirable result. She'll either want to give you a chance or she will reject you; thus leading you to not like her anymore after she breaks your heart.

nfigure · Accepted Answer

I know how that feels, but you just have to force yourself not to look at her even when you know she's close by, no matter how dreamy you think she is. Over time, you will get stronger in doing so, like getting over a bad addiction.

What worked for me is to remind myself that the girl's boyfriend/husband was not some higher or superhuman being -- he was just another HUMAN being and just another GUY like me, so it was really **undignified** and **nonsensical** for me to relegate myself to pining over something he has, and allow myself to go on being sad while he goes on being happy. It's just a matter of finding a life and a partner for yourself.

Otherwise, do you ice-skate? Maybe you can try this here:

assets.amuniversal.com/b8dacb00f891013014ff001dd8b71c47

:P

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that... but I know exactly how you feel... the boy I had a crush on for almost 2 years went out with my best friend its a long story but... Trust me I know... and I'm not saying this is necessarily the best way to get over someone... but... honestly... if you like her that much then only time can help... it is what helped me really... It was a very hard time I must admit but what really helped for me was pretending I'm happy and in a really good mood all the time... thinking about things that made me laugh... that entertained me... and everytime I stared at him I just started saying "Eww I hate him" and things like that in my head (as hard as it was to say)... obviously when I got home I just cried... but then I saw it as a way of getting that 'thing' out of my system and now till this day I still remember the last time I cried (even after they broke up) and let me tell you that I am glad! I'm with someone better now! And I love him a lot more than I loved that thing! Sorry for the long text but... my only advice is: Time... and obviously... don't let her catch you staring...(trust me you don't wanna go through that) but yh as I was saying... one day you will realise how stupid it all was you'll see!! You will laugh at yourself (trust me you really do😂) good luck darling I hope I helped in any way!

DiamondRuby · Accepted Answer

The fact is, you'll continue to look until you get over her, and even for a while after that. You can't help it. You liked her, so she attracts your attention, and the more you liked her, the longer you'll notice even afterwards. I had a ginormous crush on a guy at 16. Been over him for over a year, rarely crosses my mind, but when I pass him on the street (same uni), you bet I look, and sometimes get a slight pang in my chest. It's just the way it is, and it sucks. You should instead focus on getting over her, which is way easier said than done I know. It'll take time, and there's not much else you can do. I know listening to music and writing down my feelings helps me cope, but you have to find your escape. It usually pertains to your general interests (I'm an English major, therefore I write). This will sound counterproductive, but let yourself fantasize. If you think about her a lot, keep letting yourself do it. Denying yourself will only make you yearn more. Fantasize until you've run dry, and slowly you will. Good luck.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I used to have a big crush on this guy when i was about 17, it was awkward because he didn't like me back and I'd always have a nervous giggle if he simply walked passed! I would also 'casually' walk passed him and say hi, embarrassing i know 😄

Like you, I would always stare at him or scan to see where he was lol what I ended up doing was, I would pretend he wasn't around, so I wouldn't scan and if I had spotted him I would avoid that area and mind my own beeswax. It got to the point where he actually thought I was a snob but really I was just trying to stop liking him haha

Babydoll106 · Accepted Answer

I get that it's hard to simply 'move on' from someone you've got feelings for, and telling you to do so isn't very helpful.
One strategy I'd suggest is trying to concentrate on those little subconscious actions, like looking around specifically for her. Whenever you feel the impulse to do so, try specifically resisting it. Better yet, find something else to look at; maybe keep a small notebook just for doodling in to distract yourself, or closely study some detail of the room you're in. It might not solve everything at once, but it could be a good start.

TSWIFT243 · Answer

I think that the only way to stop staring at someone you like is to move on from that person. Of course that is easier said than done, because if it were easy then my ex boyfriend would have stopped staring at me by now. It took me a while to get over him and now that I have, I barely look his way again, but unfortunately he hasn't moved on, so he keeps staring at me. Anyways, why don't you get to try and know this girl even more? Try to be friends with her, get closer to her. Maybe you'll realize in the end that she might not be the one for you. I understand the difficult situation you're in and I can totally understand the pain you're feeling right now, it's not easy at all, believe me. But sometimes you've just got to really convince yourself that it's time to move on, and trust me, once you reach that conclusion, you'll never stare at her again.

Anonymous · Answer

Man, the girl I like has gotten with her ex. It sucks but I still stayed friend with her, maybe one day it will happen maybe it won't who knows but I know that I have a friend in her and if I can't be with her I would rather be friends with her, being friends could be my way in is my theory one day but I'm not gonna just treat it like that cause while I'm friends with her I'm talking with other girls, what I'm trying to get at is befriend her and keep contact with her, why? Get to know her and then you will have a better chance another day, don't however obsess over her, keep yourself open to other girl and talk to other girls don't just keep thinking she will go out with me one day or whatever keep that as a potential backup and look for someone else too but for the love of all things don't get a girl and dump her if she becomes single unless your a asshole that is and even then she will see straight through you for it and damn will she lose respect for you and you will have no chance

Dan2287 · Answer

Man I know exactly how this feels. When I was in high school there was always 1 girl in the class I couldn't stop starring at. It's very hard to overcome because you're forming a habit and feelings. you need to try and put distance between you and her. If that is not an option you need to try and find some other girl you are attracted to who may be single. Focusing on someone else who isn't taken might help you not think about her as much and eventually lose any feelings associated with it

Agrojag · Answer

That's hard. There was a girl I really liked and everytime I realized I was staring at her I'd look away but then my gaze would subconsciously go to her again and I'd find myself staring all over again without meaning to. It's a struggle. Try to put as much physical distance from her as possible.

butimsharon · Answer

If you truly want to get over her, I think you should go and tell her what you feel. She'll probably say she'd love to be with you but she can't bc she has her boyfriend (which I'm convinced you're better than him, but oh well..) and maybe if you'll hear her say it can't happen, it will make things more real to you and you'll move on knowing you haven't lost anything. :)

(If there's a problem or if you'd like to talk to someone, I'm always here for you)

Colocasia · Answer

Take a paper, on it write all your priorities about what you're dream girl should be like. Make a sensible list okay? Then on the other side of page write the qualities you find in her. Do they match? Almost all your priorities satisfy? If they do match, she's worth risking a try,& if they dont , Ask yourself why you want to waste time looking at her? Why give into physical attraction? There are other girls out there too.

ilovepandas0823 · Answer

do you ever talk to her? are you guys friends at all? I've had a similar situation happen to me when i was in school. i ended up getting a boyfriend and the feelings subsided a little but i still looked at him every once in a while. she is taken and by what you say she is happy. i would try and maybe find your self something to distract you while in class or try to sit where you can't see her if possible. do u like to draw? i doodle when when I'm stressed or need to think about something else.

deathvenom369 · Answer

Is not always as simple as just moving on. I would suggest physically distancing you from that person it sounds more like a crush and an infatuation than anything else. And that's fine it's a learning experience and ultimately will help you discover what you really want out of your life and relationships. Just keep fighting the good fight go out with your friends meet people and if you can intentionally avoid the interactions that would upset you.

OrdinaryGentleman · Answer

Because you are not fucking trying to get out, you are so hung up on this one girl that you are falling into a pit, one in which you are becoming less and less able to control your feelings. Man up and get your life together, if you run into them making out just don't look and walk away.

kareenakapur · Answer

Find another cutie to stare at. That's what always works for me ;)

Kartusha · Answer

You can't help yourself with your feelings. She still can be your crush. It is heart breaking I know, but it can fade away when you find another girl you like. Maybe they will break up and you can start chasing her.

Anonymous · Answer

I have the same problem too. I like a guy; he's a teacher at my uni, and I am a student ( I don't have any class to study with him ). It's really hard to stop looking at him when he's around. What I can do is to find something else to do like watching videos on YouTube or doing my homework. I think you can also just walk away from where she is like I usually do haha my opinion might not be so helpful, but I hope that you will find a good way from other comments soon

Good luck
C.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to have a crush on This Guy for 4 years and he always caught me staring at him lol kinda creepy i know but anyways i knew we would Never be together but i Never places my heart on it, so i suggest you dont get too emotional try to control your mind...

jacquesvol · Answer

There's my friend's sister. When we were both 16, I didn't like her (she liked me, using my hindsight)
Then we met last year, both 68(!) and married to another. I suddenly liked her face (IDK why) couldn't stop looking at her...

Diegoip7 · Answer

Personally, I hate when that happens, and I would say that the best thing you can do is remember that, as long as she has a boyfriend, nothing is gonna happen between you two. It's rough, I know, but it works, and over time you will stop seeing the her in that way. There are a lot of girls you can meet, and it's awful to be stuck in a situation like that.

Blair123 · Answer

Just control yourself. Put yourself together! I trust you :D Personally I find it annoying when guys stare at me like some sort of creepers...

godfatherfan · Answer

Classical training. every time you think about, or catch yourself, looking at her, punch yourself in the balls. aversion training.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

Find a hobby/activity to focus on. If you're exhausted from that, you won't have the strength to think about some taken girl.

ConsultantIsBack · Answer

Kill the boyfriend, then approach lol Good luck brother I feel for you!!

Bards · Answer

Every time you look at her think of your grandma's butt.

How to stop staring at someone you like?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How to stop staring at someone you like?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.