Why do woman get so much more sympathy when cheating?

Been reading infedility sites mostly loveshack anyways. It seems like on most post if a woman cheats it's okay because something was wrong or missing in her relationship. If a guy cheats he's an ass hole. If a cheating woman wants to reconcile she gets support on how to win her guy back.
if a guy cheats and wants to reconcile he gets shit tons of grief.
one exception woman who've been betrayed seem to be 5x more willing to save their relationships vs seems like a midecum of guys would. Most guys get told to walk away or talk about leaving and how to make the pain and moving in process easier.
Just seems like cheating woman tend to get sympathy when it comes to infedility.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're correct in your observation. I've noticed this too. I completely disagree with cheating in general , no matter the sex.
    What I'd say about a male cheater is the same as I would say about a female cheater.

    I think people are more sympathetic when it comes to female cheaters for the sole fact women do it because they are missing an emotional aspect from their relationship.
    Men usually do it because of lack of physical attraction or intimacy (which creates the dog persona) or a man who just does not care.

    Someone that's missing an emotional aspect has a relationship that has more hope of survival than someone who just wants to stick their penis in anything.

    Again , this is not my view I'm just shedding light on this issue

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    • I don't condone cheating but the saddest part were for guys who worked their hands to the bone to find out their wife's had been cheating without any warning or fore sight. Not sure if it's all but female affairs and such from reading were so much more deceptive longer and painful. Maybe it may be my underlying gender bias

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • I am not sure why it happens, but it's a very unfair standard. Infidelity hurts whether you are a man or a woman. It might even hurt men more in the long run, because they tend to hold in their feelings.

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  • No cheater is ever getting sympathy from me. Anyone trying to sympathize with a cheater needs to get some sense knocked back into their head.

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  • I never heard of such a big lie. No one ever get sympathy for cheating!

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    • Not due to my observations but your opinion is still valid :)

    • I would feel pissed no matter what sex you are cheating is not acceptable.

  • Nah they're both scum no matter the gender

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  • speakin as a woman, move on regadless... there are no amount of apologies thatd make me get back with a partner after cheaing. its shit enough to think of their cock in an other girls moouth before me... during the time? F right off

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  • I'm not sure why this is the case, I haven't really noticed this, but I haven't been looking either and I can easily imagine that this would be so. Why? I think it might be because woman are more comfortable articulating their feelings to others through speech or writing. On the infidelity websites, I am sure the women posted exactly why their emotional needs weren't being met by their husband and I am equally sure that the men probably didn't make their posts deep with emotion. If they had, they might have got just as sympathetic of responses.

    Also, if my husband cheated on me, I would definitely forgive him and consider working it out because we have a child. If we didn't have a child, I would definitely forgive him, but would probably send him on his way with love to continue his search for someone more suited for him.

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    • I always found it fascinating how woman said they loved their husbands but he wasn't meeting their emotional needs so they cheated. Ones he's gone... they realize oh shit... it was my fault too.
      But yeah the one good thing that has come out of reading these sites it made me realize if I ever get married I need to communicate, communicate, communicate! Also I guess working long hours (to pay bills) causes some woman to cheat because they get lonely. It's hard being a husband 😩

    • I never seen a lady post exactly what her emotional needs are/were because even they don't know what their needs are/were. "emotional needs" "intimacy" are rather vague terms. In many cases when the woman is trying to win her man back the problems she had were personal she just didn't realize it till long after the damage is done. The girl needed individual therapy. She had depression issues and didn't know it in a lot of these cases. She looks to external sources like her man to "fix" her when there's no way he can so she has an affair to fill that need. It seems like the fix in the short term but was just new relationship excitement. Other cases she never told her concerns to her man and has an affair instead. Men are more accepting of their situation which I think is a problem women view as not caring. women need to take more charge of their relationship and say whats they think is wrong don't avoid arguments just stay on topic don't bring up other stuff just to win. communicate!

  • It really depends more on the site. If you were on bodybuilder forums, for instance, you'd read more about evil "sloots" ...

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    • Well body building is a bro site I'm talking about neutral sites. Like divorce busters and loveshack

What Guys Said 5

  • I have noticed this. I think it has to do with why both sexes cheat. Studies have found that when men cheat it's mostly just for sex and when women cheat it's mostly emotional. When a man cheats it's not really because he was in love with that other woman, he just wanted to get some. So it's really hard to support a guy and help him when he just wanted sex, it just shows he's a douche.

    Women tend to fall for the other man or at least believe they are. They get caught up in how new it all is. How much attention they are getting and feel like they are in love again because they have all these emotions running through them. It's another honeymoon phase, that always ends and then they realize it's not what it seems.

    So it seems to be easier to support women because they want their husband back. They don't want him for the sex. They want their love back, they want their life with him back, they want everything they ever had with him back. Part of me wants to help that person get their life back because it's sad to see love die.

    Men just want their wife back so they don't lose everything because they are stupid. Just my thoughts anyway. Either situation is despicable and there's no excuse.

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    • I've read a lot of follow up posts from woman I almost feel bad for them.
      "I fucking hate myself I can't sleep at night! He won't even talk to me or acknowledge me. My kids keep asking for dad. The other man stop seeing me when things got serious now I got served divorce papers and I found out my husband (separated) is seeing other woman.
      Feel bad for them but when their honey moon phase is over they realize their loneliness was because hubby was usually stretching himself thin working and trying to be a father. The other man just wanted sex

    • Show All
    • Yeah I actually sympathized with her I remember in the end her husband started treating her as a fuck buddie. I felt very bad her husband tried but he kept getting triggers. Although my fav is from a guy called Lorenzo (forget the rest of his user name). He was supporting his wife through school and she had an affair with another married man who was sterile. He met up with the mans wife they had a revenge affair and he didn't mean to but they got caught and his wife and him got divorce so did the other woman and her husband who was banging Lorenzo's wife.
      Lorenzo and the guys wife ended up marrying and he gave her what she always wanted a child. His ex wife was bitter but he forgave her because if it wasn't for her affair he would of never met his new (amazing and sexy) new wife :)

    • I don't have sympathy for Sophie2013. I read her threads too. Her now ex hubby who is a LAWYER has a chance to get ahead at the law firm they both work at by working longer hours for a time which would have benefited her family in the long run and with her agreeing with it. Soon begins an emotional then physical affair with her boss/his superior and who happened to be her friends husband too. First test to her marriage when her hubby needed her the most she didn't have his back. She had a Alpha male fantasy by banging someone higher ranking than him. It wasn't just sex she was falling for this guy and did admit in a post that she did pull away from her hubby emotionally and sexually during the affair. If it wasn't for the hubby seemingly knowing about the affair from the start who knows how long she would have done it. What makes her different from other women was she had real interest into what hubbys thoughts and feelings for the damage she did to him were and not just about herself.

  • I've seen that a lot in GAG too, especially when the Asker says if they should tell their partner, women tend to be told "don't tell him, it'll end the relationship", while men are told "tell her so she can dump you".
    When it comes to stuff that deals with feelings and emotions, people are less harsh with women. Double standards.

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  • Yeah a lot of girls think they are self entitled and the man is always wrong. Girls cheats on boyfriend.. Oh he wasn't giving me my attention.. he is an asshole. Boyfriend cheats on girlfriend.. You are an asshole OMG!

    I guess I am sort of angry in this way because I was cheated on when I was in the military and I had my girlfriends friends tell me I was an asshole because I wouldn't pay attention to her. Like.. Really? I'll tell you I definitely put them both in their place. I see this a lot.

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  • Because society makes pathetic cop outs for women behaving badly but rips a guys guts out if he behaves badly. Don't you just love a sexist world. Time women were made to pay for their actions.

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    • Divorce courts will still side with a woman even if fm she cheats. But god forbid a guy even kissed another woman

    • Yup. Actually there is this woman named Helen Smith and she talks about that. She is interesting to listen to.

  • That's just the way it is. Just don't cheat and you won't have to worry about that double standard.

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