Would you rather be the dumper or the dumpee?

Question

Would you rather break your lover's heart or have your heart broken by your lover? Why?

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

I am usually the "Dumper" in most of my relationships, @MissNowhere, and it isn't always a pleasant nor kind thing to do.
However, the Time that I Felt it the Most was when I Dumped my First Love when I was 16 because I was trying to teach him a lesson in life and in love and it Backfired on Me... It took me 7 long painful years to move on from him, and when I had the Chance to taste again a little of our old Romance, I had moved on then from him.
I know what this feels like to have a Broken heart and it is the most sickening feeling in the world, next to someone who is very ill. The heart suffers as much as the cancer that eats one, and it is a Dying and Undying Feeling Inside which is never a Smooth Ride.
Good luck. xx

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I see that the majority wants to give the ax, specially women.

I don't blame them, maybe because no one wants to suffer, maybe because being the dumpee means being a loser, maybe because no one wants his/her heart break, maybe because he/she didn't do it before the partner did.

I think being a dumpee is not bad at all, the issue of being dumpee is that you are more vulnerable to do something idiot.

One can think that the game ended with the break up, the dumper is the winner and the dumpee is the loser, but I think that the break up is just the beginning of the game. One has to be strong and remember how is to be single.

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

While they both suck, getting dumped is easier that being the dumper. It's painful to break a guys heart but even more so when they keep trying to get me back. Now, I'm not some super gift to men, Sometimes it just doesn't work out but once we break up and he keeps trying it god from heartbreaking to sad, to annoying, to pathetic. If I'm dumped I'll try to work it out but if the guy is firm I know it's time to move on and save my self respect.

Itsheatherxoxo · Accepted Answer

I would rather be the dumpee. I never knew how hard it would be to be the dumper. I always assumed it would be easy to break up with someone. But it's awful, especially when you are doubting your decision. And then you see your ex with someone new.. It's the worst kind of pain.

KDA20 · Accepted Answer

I think I prefer to be the "Dumpee" because I get so guilty and start thinking about the other person's feelings if I am doing the dumping. I would tie myself up in knots trying to think of the best way to do it and only confuse the issue making the split ten times harder when it eventually happens.

Jaron29 · Accepted Answer

Dumpee. I don't have the heart to hurt women. But when it comes to guys, its a different story. I sure love to hurt them physically with my fist! Haha, chill people. Just guys that I hate of course.

vishna · Answer

If he tried to break my heart, I would cry, but I would go numb quick and throw him and everything about him in a box. So, to cause the least amount of pain (because my boyfriend is much more in touch with his feelings) I would want him to dump me.

That being said, I've only been dumped once, but then I ended up dumping him several months later. :/

Break up talk everywhere, so sad.

peachblossomluck · Answer

Dumpee. No him bothering me and" trying to work it out" and crap once I break it off. I never go backwards. No guilt. None of his stupid friends trying to get me to talk to him, or any attempted guilt trips, no drunk dials, no me resorting to desperate measures to make him disappear.

existing_not_living · Answer

I'd rather be the dumper. It's not easy dumping someone, but if I really cared about the guy, then I would be devastated if he ended it and it would take me forever to get over him. I've dumped someone before and although it's a little hard, I can get through it much easier than if I were to be dumped.

CHARismatic110 · Answer

Having always been the dumpee, I'd rather do the dumping. It's totally selfish of me, but I don't wanna go through that again. If it's between saving my heart and saving his, then I choose mine.

That said, I'd probably still be sad after breaking up. Especially if real love was involved.

Anonymous · Answer

Dumper.
Being the dumpee makes your self esteem go really low and it can really shatter your heart. As the dumper it's better telling them straight why not, and don't leave them on second hopes (unless there is a reason I'm not ready for a relationship at the moment or any other really plausible cause).

OrdinaryGentleman · Answer

Probably break it? I dunno both are really bad to endure. I would say break it, because at least it helps me retain my power what little i have left that is. The last one broke my heart, kinda through text after 3 years so... um yeah... break it would be nice and in person too. I am not going to be a dick.

Anonuser2020 · Answer

Break ups aren't black and white. I broke up w/my ex a couple months ago and that was very hard for me. He broke my heart without being the dumper, emotionally he dumped me a couple months earlier (or he never truly cared about me).

Jxpxtxr · Answer

Dumper as I think I'd be more indifferent about it.
Like call me a bitch but if my partner just suddenly started annoying the hell out of my to the point where I'd lose all feelings I probably wouldn't even be sorry..

Accipiter · Answer

The dumper, because when I've been the dumpee I've been left in the dark wondering what I did wrong and what I could have done differently to prevent her from leaving me. Whereas being the dumper you know without doubt the reason for doing so.

Mistnigqa808 · Answer

"Dumpee" Cuz the moment she says "it's over" is the moment that she'll become a "relic of the past" in my mind (almost instantly). I have a short memory when it comes to these kinds of things.

ZionOrtov · Answer

Doesn't matter for me, my animalistic instincts would imply dumper, and if we go full animal, that wouldn't be an option, THIS WORLD IS MINE! Leave the animal in its cage, and don't poke it, please.

mantou · Answer

I would prefer to be the dumpee. I rather allow him to hurt me than me hurting him. I don't have the heart to even bear hurting him because I just love him too much.

RedThread · Answer

I'll go with dumpee. The only exception is if I was cheated on or my partner did something horrible to me then I'd be happy to be the dumper. If we just broke up because we were incompatible then I don't mind being dumped.

springocelot · Answer

i've been on both sides and i'd rather be the dumpee i hate the thought process of breaking someone's heart i don't have much heart for it

normalice · Answer

i've been reliably informed that I have no heart. So, if only one heart is to suffer, it seems more efficient that it be the unbreakable one (my own).

Octavius · Answer

Dumpee. Some people don't take getting dumped too well and seek revenge. I don't really have to worry about that if I'm being dumped since it was their decision.

lola2500cobalt · Answer

I think I couldn't handle annoying regrets questioning whether I was right or wrong dumping someone, so I will go with dumpee

moistycakes · Answer

I'd rather be the one to dump someone. Because then it's over for me and I made the decision so it's easier to move on for me.

Yumix · Answer

the dumper... if I'm the one doing it it's because I don't love her anymore, hence it will be much easier for me.
if I get dumped it will shatter in 1000 pieces and will take forever to get it fixed again

Chief16 · Answer

Dumpee. Hey, I can't do anything about someone else's feelings. But I can always do something about mine.

madhatters4 · Answer

dumpee. i can deal with being dumped i hate dumping someone

AleDeEurope · Answer

The dumper. That's how it's been in all my relationships.

justbanANNAz · Answer

I've dumped twice and that in itself is so hard.  being on the other end must be heart wrenching.

anshin · Answer

Dumper. I can't handle being a dumpee especially if i still have feelings for him.

ElissaDido · Answer

I Would rather be the dumper, i would find it easier to move on!

tricherie101 · Answer

Getting your heart broken is the worst pain ever. Dumper.

Lady7 · Answer

Dumpee. I've always been the dumper and everytime i dump my exs i always thibk about them again, except for kne if them he ain't worth my time.

9mfeo · Answer

Having some control over the situation really does help.

Drooogie4 · Answer

The dumper. Being dumped is way worse. And I would have dumped them for good reason

truthhammer · Answer

id rather dump the girl.. if i want her and she dumps me it hurts more i think I've sortve been dumped once and I've always been doing the dumping. both suck as i get emotionally attached

I_am_repulsive · Answer

I rather take control of my dumping, but that's not always the case. Sometimes you end up sharting all over (metaphorically speaking of course).

TheBraveLion · Answer

I'd rather the dumper. But in a way being the dumpee isn't as bad because they're in the wrong, and they'll feel the guilt :P

Other_Tommy_Wiseau · Answer

Dumpee 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

cinderelli · Answer

I've never been dumped.. and I don't want to.. so I don't get in relationships.. haha.. ;P

Nomad69 · Answer

Neither it sucks big time. I'd probably rather be the dumper cause that means I feel we are done

genericname85 · Answer

dumper... being dumped rips your soul apart... dumping is just a bit awkward and that´s it.

apple24 · Answer

The dumper because you picked the day and the time!

annoyymouse · Answer

I've always been the dumper, so I'll stick with what works

JCT666 · Answer

I've experienced both, and I'd rather be the dumper.

pavlove · Answer

why the hell do i always see this question after i answer a question on GaG? You're in kahoots with the overseers of this site...

Andrew55 · Answer

I'd pick neither. Especially since I've technically kind of been the "Dumpee" all my life, LoL

chrisbigman · Answer

Neither. I'd rather not have to dump someone, and I'd rather they not dump me.

DamnCurtis · Answer

What a fucked up question. I guess I rather be the 'Dumpee' I'm too nice -_-.

Dred1614 · Answer

I've only been the dumper, and it was quite satisfying.

Ihav2fart · Answer

:O  You're breaking up with meee! ?

sambose · Answer

dumpee. i respect women way too much to hurt them. i'll get over it eventually

Joc4Position · Answer

The dumper. Being dumped sucks.

Suiyuan · Answer

The dumpee. I hate to do anything cruel.

AngelsFalling · Answer

I'd rather be dumped than break his heart...

Polswedgirl · Answer

Dumper. Hate getting hurt.

brnxsweet · Answer

I'd feel bad either way :(

Chuhiya · Answer

A dumper.. its much easier this way :-)

croxy · Answer

Dumper. I don't like being the one left behind

dudeman · Answer

if i care about her i let her dump me.

Ashely_Princess · Answer

Have my heart broken because I'm use to that 😕

Maxemeister · Answer

Break her heart. I'll know what's coming.

LordZero · Answer

I want to be the dumpee.

lasmujeressonguapas · Answer

dunno... depends on the situatoin.

Anonymous · Answer

Dumper. I attract too many clingers and stalkers.

Zorax · Answer

Neither is good :(

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