So my German girlfriend cheated on me but I still love her. What should I do?
I have just been living in Germany for over a year with my girlfriend (She's German) and we have just recently broken up. I have given up my life in the states to go and be with her. We had been together over 2 1/2 years and had everything planned for our vacation around the world since she likes to travel. (I taught myself German so I could communicate with her family and be able to study).
She had made a new male friend at work (she's a doctor) and not wanting to be over protective, I didn't say anything against it. I found her one night at this other guys place when she told me she was at work and wouldn't answer her phone. I found out from questioning them that she had been slept with him twice.
I left Germany a few days later and returned back to the states. We are now separated but she is still wants to come over in December. She tells me that it was all her fault and the reason that it happened was that over the time I was there she was slowly falling out of love with me and that us being/living together 24 hours a day became really hard on her. She regrets completely what she did but she can't tell me if she wants to be together again, its only been over a week. She doesn't want a relationship with this other guy and can't really tell me why she did it.
I know it sounds stupid, but I am still in love with her, and considering being with her again if we can patch things up in the times before she comes to the states. Her family adores me. They all can't believe she would do such a thing because she is such a nice girl. The other guy is a loser that smokes and uses drugs.
Should I wait for her and see her response? We still talk basically everyday because our emotional connection is still there, it always has been.
I honestly don't want to move on because I love her, I feel no anger towards her for what she did, merely disappointment. The other guy is an asshole though. Don't like him.
Any help would be appreciated. This is thank you in advance
So my German girlfriend cheated on me but I still love her. What should I do?
I was going to say that cause you love her and want to be with her you should stay with her but... Then i thought what i would do if i were you. If i were you i would not forgive her. Cheaters are cheaters all the time (I know it is easy to say and hard to hear). But as a woman myself i can surely say that if woman really loves a man, she will never cheat. Yes, maybe she is emotionally connected to you, but her body is running from you and tries to find a shelter FROM you in another man. That's not love. If you stay with her , you will show her that you are a great human being but she won't respect you as a man anymore. She may say that it was mistake. But mistakes happen only once not a twice. She doesn't even know whether she wants to be with you or not. That means NO , man. Don't be sad. Don't be disappointed. It is hard to hear but the woman you loved is a cheater. Some people need years and they waste their precious time before they find out that. You found out it now. Could you imagine how hard it would be for you if it happened when you were married? However, everyone deserves second chance. So if you really love her, if you think that she deserves a second chance, if you think that she will make you happy, then give it to her. But remember never ever think about giving third chance. I give you advice but that's not my life. That's your life and decision you are going to make, will change your life. Think about it and decide carefully.
If you truly love her, turn her loose, you can't build a relationship based on deceit and lies, if you stay with her you will become her doormat and end up resentful and hurt, if she had any respect for you she would not sleep with another, it doesn't matter what you think of the other guy she thinks a lot of him coz she slept with him, you need to face reality, she's not serious about you.
She's the one at fault though. She chose to step out from your relationship and cheat. It's not his fault that she's a shitty human. You should be angry at her. Instead of telling you that she needed space, she decided to cheat. I don't understand why you want to go back to her. Nothing will have changed. She'll probably just do it again.
Decision is totally up to you mate... i do have a question though... "she was slowly falling out of love with me and that us being/living together 24 hours a day became really hard on her" so you weren't working in Germany? You took a chance in an LDR bro, complications will arise. She says she can't explain why it happened, yea she can. and you can see it too. you have no attachment to her anymore. The choice is yours, you can walk. Its difficult though seeing as the emotions are there already and she's willing to fly a long distance to see you but think carefully... and also realize that after her visit, she's going BACK, possibly to her other friend. :)
She sounds like she will cheat again if she is easy for a druggie, she can get any of those type of guys that seem readily to sleep with others for cheap thrills. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
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