How do I move past "small talk"?

When I like a girl, I text her, but after a while it just ends up being boring small talk that's kind of awkward...

How do I get past that? Like having a deep conversation or talking over the phone or something?


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231

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ask her really good, interesting questions, and try to give as wordy or big a reply as possible. That often times helps, but if she doesn't contribute to the conversation very much, then it's really almost not possible to move past small talk, sorry.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 22

  • Say something like "let's play 20 questions, I wanna know more about you" or something like that. That's what I always do and it works. People love talking about themselves. Then once you know more about the person it gets easier to talk.

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  • I think you just gotta have HUMOUR and keep asking questions! And always add a "haha" or anything at the end of a sentence(not all of them tho)
    Example: "I just bathe my cat haha XD "
    to make it less awkward. You can also send each other pics! Not inappropriate pics tho,but like funny 9gag pics(or anything else).but make sure it's something that you both would laugh about. Tell funny stories. Send each other voice notes, play truth or dare. Hope this helped :)

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  • Like tell her something that might interest her like tell her a party story

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  • I HATE SMALL TALK. The stupid "Hey" "Hi" "What's up?" "Not much how bout you" shit. Just dive in and talk about more in depth stuff gradually. I think I can say most girls hate small talk too so I think she wouldn't mind if she is friends with you or likes you. But that's just my opinion.

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  • Try "playing a game" 20 questions or would you rather. This should get her attention.

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  • I don't want to come off as harsh, but most guys that go past small talk usually end up friendzoned. HOWEVER if we like you back we'll most likely initiate a more 'personal' relationship with you :)

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  • Always have a topic where both of you share the same interests so you can talk a lot of things together.

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  • ask her questions about herself, not just "how are you" and stuff like that. tell her you'd like to know more about her and ask her more personal questions (not too personal). asking genuine questions usually sparks more meaningful conversations

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  • Start a conversation that she's passionate about. Or something that is debatable. A trending topic will lead to deep conversation. Like talk about Abortion or Gay Rights. Those are debatable topics that can lead to long conversations.

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  • Ask her if she has any plans this summer or what her interests are... Just come up with topics

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  • Just say random funny stuff :)

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  • I just recommend find a strong topic text about it and then call her and discuss it further

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  • Ask her deep questions

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  • Open up! I have talked to a guy and before and he just didn't seem that into the conversation. Girls love when we can hear ur opinion instead of those one word or sentence answers. And we love to know that u like talking to us just as much as we like talking to you, as for moving forward be assertive and move the conversation where u want it to go it sucks when ur the only one keeping it going but if the guy does too that means he is interested in u and likes to talk to you

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  • Personally I find it awesome if a guy can downright ask me if I'm free to talk on the phone. You never know until you ask!

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  • Ask her something that could lead to a deep conversation just don't be too obvious that's what your trying to get at

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  • start joking and being funny, it's a great way to get close to a girl without being all mushy

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  • Ask her about how she feels about a certain belief. For example, politics, how she views life, talk about her goals, and what she wants to do in life. Make her feel like she's important to you. You can still share your ideas and opinions as well. She'll probably want to know. Talk about likes and dislikes.

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  • Suggest video chatting sometime, it's a step up from texting.

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  • ask her about her hobbies, what she likes to do in her spare time, when she tells you whatevr it is elaborate on it, say how interesting it sounds, so on. this should help.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't know what you've already asked/ talked about. I'd say try and find out more about her; Maybe ask what she likes (she has a life other than talking to you, find out about it), if she has any hobbies or sports, what's new in her life, I dunno

    In retrospect, I'm not really one for long telephone conversations...

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