How do you get out of the endlessly loop of small talk? How do you stop putting more effort than the other person?

[poneglyphs]

Do you also have this problem? Either I get bored or just stop talking to them. I feel like that happens a lot to me and it's annoying 😒.

Is there anyway to combat this or just stop being in this predicament

[GingerGuy]

Depends a lot on who you're talking to. And the "effort" level could be for many different reasons, such as some people are just bad communicators period. If it's about feelings, a lot of people are uncomfortable opening up. Do you know them and how well, how comfortable are you both with each other, etc. If you're talking about in general though with strangers, they say to ask more open ended questions, things that "make them" talk. Things they can't just say "yes" or "no" to, but have to explain or go into detail. So it's not an easy question to answer. I guess in your situation, if I understand it correctly, just avoid those situations if you feel the person isn't interested? I'm not a great communicator myself, but I find it really interesting, even with strangers, sometimes it can come so "easily" with some, and others not at all.

[Honesttguy]

At some point u slow down, way down let silence appear and let other person fill the gap thus them investing, also helps asking about them so they do the talking.

If u do all the talking it gets boring also for other person to just listen and listen if anything i fuking hate it and just want to leave and get out of there. I bet this is what happens to you.

[poneglyphs]

Sometimes but now I just don't put in that much effort because mostly they rarely text me back. So, I rarely ever talk to anyone in the first place. 😐😐

[NathanDavis]

I think that many times people see a conversation the wrong way...

asking someone a lot of questions so they just answer them to you, is not an actual conversation... and can often feel like an interrogation

each question should be or could be a mini conversation by itself, and for this... to actually work, you need to be genuinely interested and also be interesting yourself and if you're not... they just won't be into it

[Adam1978]

Let them vet you and you vet them for a couple of days a week tops, then move it to real life, or move on. If they are not willing to meet you, your wasting your time. If they are into you they make it happen.

[NamerOfStars]

Steer the conversation in a better direction: ask a deeper question.

[poneglyphs]

I do try I tell them fun situations like what would you do in a zombie apocalypse or what about you do like the most? But most just give one word answers or none at all

[exitseven]

You have to steer the conversation into something interesting to you both. Usually sex.

[poneglyphs]

Sex? That's appropriate I usually don't steer into that?

[Jamie05rhs]

@exitseven Are you out of your mind, sir?

[exitseven]

@Jamie05rhs just figuring that out?

[Jamie05rhs]

@exitseven 😆

[RealMarek]

What would you talk about if you got out of the endless loop of small talk?

[poneglyphs]

3 things they like or hate then I delve deeper and ask more questions about them? Also, just what would you do in a zombie apocalypse?

[RealMarek]

I don’t think it matters too much what you ask them. If you plan ahead of time it might not seem natural. The zombie apocalypse question could be interesting, lol

[Avicenna]

I think understanding people is part of it, but you've also got to take the initiative to turn it a bit more personal without being clumsy and too probing.

[poneglyphs]

Hmm well for me I try to know them q bit by asking them about their hobbies or favorite ice cream flavors. But either I get no response or one worded answers the whole time. I just stop talking to them or they ghost me.

@Avicenna

[Avicenna]

Can someone observe your body language and tone of voice for you the next time you’re doing this?

[poneglyphs]

Well, I don't do it in person because they all say that I'm a stranger so most of this is through text. But you can see how that goes 🙁🙁🙁

[Avicenna]

Yeah, things Peter out more easily via text

[OddBeMe]

Learn from interviewers. Read women’s magazines about what they like talking about. Do your research.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Walk away. If they follow, keep walking.

[emperor90]

Just end it