Broke up with girlfriend....she is begging me to take her back?

I broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year about a week ago. I couldn't really give her a good reason, things just didn't feel the same between us anymore. We went to college together, and meet through mutual friends. She used to hook up with 2 of my other friends/classmates on and off before we became really good friends. I used to always want to hook up with her, because she was a smart girl and good looking. We'll if finally happened, and we started hooking up during the last semester of school. Once the classmates found out, the started giving me sh*t all of the time because they had hooked up with her before. We both ended taking jobs in the same city, and began dating shortly after the move. I was always a little self conscious about the way we meet, and the whole other guy situation. She would always get mad at me for having that in the back of my mind, stating "Haven't you done thing in your past that you regret?", which makes sense I guess. Anyways, the breakup has devastated her, and I feel pretty bad about it. After talking the situation over, we did agree to take a 2 week break and see how we feel afterwards. Well it's about a week in, and I keep getting emails and messages saying that the wait is killing her and that she wants to try this again. Neither of us know a lot of people down here, and I'm starting to feel pretty lonely myself. Part of me feels like because I'm in a new city I want to start things over, meet new people, and see what life has to offer. On the other hand, I keep thinking about getting back together with her. She is a very emotional girl. She is always stressing about her job and financial situation, but assures me that she has changed. She is even going to counseling to work on some of her problems. Should I give her another shot? This was my first long term relationship, and I'm kinda lost as to what to do. I am 25 and she is 24. We are both engineers, and living in a big city now. Thank you


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If your head is telling you to move on then, you have made your decision. Don't go back to a girl out of guilt or lonliness. You'll just end up leading her on and she'll hate you for it. Just say to her what you just wrote. "Part of me feels like because I'm in a new city I want to start things over, meet new people, and see what life has to offer. On the other hand, I keep thinking about getting back together with her". Tell her that you are very confused and because you don't want to lead her on, it's best that you just leave it alone and you don't want to put her through any pain because you can't get your head straight. If she can't understand what you want and how you don't know what is best for you. Then she can't see past what she wants and that's another reason right there why you shouldn't be with her.

    If that sounds harsh consider this, you left because you didn't like how she hooked up with other people before you. Well buddy, it happens. We all have a past. How would you like it if someone held your past against you and used them as reasons not to be with you? It's kinda harsh don't you think? But if you feel like you can't get past it then move on. Her past is her past don't hold it against her. It really sounds like you hooked up with her just to hook up. If you can't give her all you got to be a good boyfriend, then let her go.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't let her guilt you into dating her again. If you want to date, then date her. Though it really sounds like you don't. You are in a big city, with a new job, and your single and 25 years old. Live a little. Get out there and meet new people, don't stick with this girl just because you want to stay in your comfort zone. Besides she does not sounds like a stable person. If you really want to date her again, wait until she gets help for whatever she is seeking help for. Embrace your youth and single relationship status, don't run back to this girl because she is what you know. If you do, the relationship will be doomed from the start, because when you do find your footing in this new city, all you'll be able to think about is getting out and having fun, whatever that may mean.

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  • your first long term relationship and your 25? wow..well if she is in that much pain..put her out of her mistery man, just take her back...i am sure you can work things out [: you never know what could happen, you could be maddly in love with her tomorow..who knows...

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What Guys Said 1

  • to me, it sounds like you never were truly in love with her. you liked her as a friend and were attracted to her, but you never really said you loved her. I can see it being a problem moving to a new city not knowing anyone but each other. but if you don't want to be with her, then dont. work on being friends and see where that takes u

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