He won't shave his beard. NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM THIS WAY! What do I do?

So my boyfriend of 5+ years, always had the 5 o clock shadow look when I first met him. He might grow some facial hair here and there (hunting season, etc) but never so long I couldn't stand it. But for the past two yeHe won't shave his beard. NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM THIS WAY! What do I do?

ars it's been a battle between us. he's let it grow to the point where he looks homeless. I've tried everything to get him to shave. Withheld sex, physical contact, I've even told him how unattractive it is to me. like so unnatractive I can't even look at him durring sex cause its such a turn off. Can't kiss him cause I get grossed out or worse hair in my mouth. He uses products so it breaks my face out. I am just not attracted to him. It's been a two year fight now, and I'm growing tired and my patience is growing thin, unlike his Grizzly Adams looking face. 3 years of love, passion, and awesome sex. Has all come to a hault. Can someone tell me why my opinion matters so little? Why he would rather grow an atrocious beard and hurt me? And act like he doesn't care? Sex for me is aweful, physical contact is aweful... why would he rather me become distant from him then just shave off the dumb beard? Now before I get the comments saying how selfish I am... I have tried to compromise with him. Hunting seasons or even just a few months out of the year of his choosing. I could deal with that. But now I feel so disrespected at this point. Two loonnng year

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Most Helpful Guy

  • End it. Seriously. He doesn't listen or care about you. Yes he can do anything he wants it's his body but doesn't mean you have to like it and doesn't mean he shouldn't listen and hear you. he's being foolish and disrepectful. Any decisions as so minut as this is needs to be discussed in a relationship. A relationship is a two way street. And I agree he looks homeless and if he cared half of what he does for his beard for you, he'd shave it. Find a man who listens to you and takes your advice and concerns.

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    • Thank you! So im not crazy to be feeling The way I do! I do feel disrespected and almost as if my worth is so little to him, he isn't even willing to make a sacrifice, that could not only make me happier, but also him... in the way that I'd be able show so much more love and compassion to him. Hed rather create a distance. Not to mention ourcsex life would be so much better, because id enjoy it so much more, and want it so much more. I've tried to compare it to, if i did something he was turned off by in bed and he asked me to not do it agsin, i would for him cause i want him to enjoy it... It's the same thing, right?

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    • i'm not gonna white knight you like akadatank44, i really hope your boyfriend breaks up with you first now.

    • @mmmhhmm wtf? How am I white nighting? I'm simply stating the truth.

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What Guys Said 6

  • With holding sex to get him to shave is a passive aggressive move. Not cool. You're lucky he hasn't left you. Just tell him you really don't like the beard and politely ask him to shave it. If he refuses then you have a choice to make: can you learn to love the beard or not? If not, then you have to leave him and find someone else.

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    • I agree. I don't want to do this. And it's not so much "with holding" rather its more like a lack of being turned off by it. Not being able to enjoy kissing him leads to a less passionate and good sexual experience, not to mention lack of foreplay. Just has become a non desirable experience... and a non rewarding experience for me.

  • yeah I'll be honest, is beard is more attractive than you. I mean that's a great beard. he should just go find a new girl, obviously you aren't that great.

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    • Well hed certainly be happier with someone else at this rate. Just As you are not attracted to me for my face... I am not attracted to beards... So it's one in the same. A physical apearance. So the comment is completely hypocritical.

  • That's a man beard, Never tell a man to shave their majestic beard.. I'm surprised he hasn't left.

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    • So if a girl prefered you with a 5 o clock shadow vs full grizzly adams, you'd just leave her? How about this, would you wanna kiss your girl if she had a beard? Would you wanna go down on her with a never trimmed bush? Now imagine that same bush but on her face... tell me that's a turn on for you please?

    • Why would my girl have a beard? That's irrational, And some people don't mind a bush, and why would she have pubic hair on her face? Those are some stupid points.

  • withheld sex to force him shave this beard? thats bullshit. low blow move. and i am pretty sure this mighty beard is not that annoying

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    • It is an absolute turn off for me. Annoying doesn't even cover it. Please see above response, where I explain its not so much with holding, then rather a lack of being turned on or satisfied sexually because of this.

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    • nope you do not get it. losing weight or not cutting your hair is not the same as losing his manhood. it is like Thor is giving him the power to lift his hammer and swing it! I dont understand why you cannot be satisfied sexually because of the beard it is not that bad plus it does not assist the penis in penetration that's just no sense.

    • now you will go on about how sex is not just penetration but still it is not that bad.

  • That's the beard of a champion. He should find someone better.

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  • He can shave his beard if you change your face.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Heck no i couldnt deal with that. I'd mix some nair in his hair products. Hehehe

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    • I've thought of that. I also help to cut his hair with clippers and I've just wanted to "accidentally" slip while its on the lowest setting lol

    • Do it! Do it! Mwuahahaha

  • HEEEE SHOULD BREAK UP WITH youuuuu.

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    • So relationships should have 0 compromise? And be completely one sided?

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    • I am for sure. I've done everything to try to compromise with him, for two years. I'm not a monster. I've asked him what can I do for you to make it so you'd want to do this for me. How else can I compromise? Any specific ideas?

    • accept it.

  • I dont think it looks bad at all. I, personally, am into the facial hair. I'm sure if you talk to him or bring it up often enough, he will eventually do it for you. Good Luck!

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    • Thank you for being to only adult who understands you can have a difference of opinion with someone and not be rude about it. Thank you for your well wishes. I have tried talking, im not sue talking is helping. And accourding to the well mannered gentlemant that have commented he should just dump me for something i can't control. So...

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    • I have tried this actually. Tried to compromise for even just a few months out of the year he could keep it shaved for me and I could deal for the rest of time. I've talked and asked Nicely about it. I don't think I'm being unreasonsble...

    • Then I'm at a lost for words for ya girl :) I'm not sure what you could do. If he loves it and makes him feel good (men actually care more about their bodies and appearances than we think) then try learning to love it.

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