Gender Bias In The Family Court System: Why do women win child custody more often than men in a divorce case?

[Fitness-Fanatic]

Most courts today will generally award custody to whichever parent would be in the best interests of the child, because the law no longer presumes mothers are better parents. However, the "best interests" of the child often dictate that children stay with the mother. Even though the courts say they do not discriminate against the father , custody for father's can still be difficult to win. Why do you personally believe that women win child custody more often than men in a divorce case?

[jp612612]

You know, I went through this and for the most part, I blame the men that came before me. Even today, I know women who mated with some guy who wants nothing to do with his kids. And having kids, I know that it's the guy that's missing out. There are a lot of things involved here that are unfair, but a good part of it comes from historical male behavior. When I went through my divorce, I was given only one day per week with my girls and all through court, I kept hearing the phrase "traditional roles" and it made no sense to me. Yeah, I made a lot more than my wife did, but I also did all the cooking, all the grocery shopping, and all of the cleaning. I can't think of what "traditional roles" actually meant other than she had a vagina.

It reminds me of this African American woman who posted a question a couple months ago about her treatment at a restaurant by her waitress. At one point, she acknowledged that while she always tips well, African Americans often do not tip and that she could imagine that it's possibly see why the waitress might not have looked forward to serving her. I did believe that racism played the major role in her treatment, but I appreciated that she could step back, look at other factors, and consider how we're not all innocent here. Similarly, I feel I was greatly mistreated in family court and that I still am, but I feel I have to acknowledge the historical behavior of my brothers in chromosomes.

[Guy2345]

That's no excuse. The court system is suppose to be the arbiter of societal "fairness". The court system should conduct it's business in a way that benefits all parties equally, to the degree that is befitting of the circumstances, or not at all. The courts also view the woman as underpaid and somehow more deserving than a man. Just because a woman is more willing to take a job that allows greater flexibility, usually at the cost of lower pay, doesn't mean that a man is not "fit" to be a parent. If he has a higher salary, he can afford daycare. But this isn't in the "best interests" of the child, because they are at "greater risk" being left with a stranger, who has no direct, biological interest in the child's well-being. If the mom is at home more frequently, working part-time, but living check-to-check, and sucking the man's account dry through alimony and child support, then the court will always view her as more "fit".

[Guy2345]

This is the direct result of decades of Feminism, left unchecked, and the silence/lower cooperation between men. If men helped each other more, like women do, pretty innately, then men might see better successes in winning such cases.

[Guy2345]

A man who can work from home, with a higher salary, would likely be found to be "more fit" than a mother who has to go into work every day without exception or flexibility.

[jp612612]

I really feel that many men are the problem here and the proof is in the comments section below. Look at how many fucking loser men posted below saying how women are more nurturing or whatever. I'm sorry you losers think that you're a genetically shitty parent and just can't help it.

I work from home. At the time of the divorce, I made over 2.7x what my wife did, yet the court considered her the more fit parent and they went with all of her stupid suggestions. For example, I get my daughters today, however the courts have it in the parenting plan that the girls MUST attend daycare during the week from 9am to 4pm. Why should there be a court requirement that a daycare gets them 20% of the time? She can't care for them during the day due to work, but to screw me out of time, she puts a stipulation in the parenting plan that I don't get them until after daycare. The court goes along with it because she has a vagina and thus is assumed to make better decisions for the girls.

[Guy2345]

Your argument didn't make sense. perhaps it's just the lack of context, thats so pervasive in written missives, but you seem to be arguing both sides of the point against the middle. What are you trying to say?

[jp612612]

My point is that the reason why the courts are sexist against men is because men have a historic tendency to be deadbeats and many comments made by men below are basically arguing that men are just genetically this way. If @pizzalover101 and @Hispanic-Cool-Guy want to say that they're genetically inferior parents to women, then these losers need to speak for themselves instead of implying that their deficiencies are "common sense".

[Guy2345]

Understood. I agree that there are many "deadbeats", but not all men are this way. Its not realistic to measure an entire society by your limited experience of it. There are many reasons why the court system fails men and not just because of the "deadbeats". There are activist Judges that are SJW's beneath their robes. There are feminist attorneys. There are also vengeful, spiteful ex-wives, who somehow successfully enforce their will on the feminist attorneys, the activist Judges, and ultimately the father. Let's face it, the deal you got wasn't the worst that could happen, and routinely does happen, to other men. You get to SEE your daughters - Some men want the same and are denied by the courts. Your outcome could have been MUCH worse. Stop blaming other men - they are only one tiny fraction of the entire problem.

[ALPHALONEWOLF]

Becuase women spends most of there time with children...
men spend most of the time outside...
women given birth to them...
but from where the sperm came... no one cares...

but I think it is really biased... .
a man take care of his kids better too...

but men and women are too sides of the coin...
men earn and women run the house...
men is busy in earning that's why he do not able to spend more time with kids...
from where the women feeding the kids... where the money coming... kids always choose mom over dad becuase mom. spend more time with the...

and now women who work... and men work too...
reason...
still women win kids custody because of past... it is always seen that women can only take care of kids... due what we seen in past we make future assumptions... which is not always true...

discrimination with men is real...
in future discrimination with men will be big issue... ( sorry for bad English )

[btbc92]

Overall, women are better suited in raising children. But a stable home is for both parents to be present in order for the kids to have a loving safe environment. The issue is, people are extremely selfish to not even try to prevent a divorce in the first place. While the law can say one thing, what does the overall biology that God set up says? Completely different. Both parents needs to be present, AGAIN, in a child's life. The choice in some places can also be decided by the kids. The parents often my not know who the kid chooses to live with. In my close friend's cases when their parents divorced, the judges had them alone in the room without either parent present, and they often chose their mom over their dad. My friends who have divorced parents were mostly female. So I believe in depends on the type of relationship the kids have with their parents, and who they can bond with better. Whether male or female, most children sadly IMHO feels the most bond with mothers often than fathers. Why? Possibly because in a child's development mothers are good at given emotional support and providing the emotional aspects that most fathers cannot provide on their own without getting criticized for it. Especially since, in society, emotional men are stigmatized.

[FlyGirl95]

The whole system is rigged to favor the attorneys. The attorneys get everyone to fight and the judge awards custody to whomever gave him the most money in his campaign.

In the end everyone looses. Even the women. They will get full custody sure and thats totally unfair to the Dad but they are miserable. They typically have no money and work part time to care for the kids and the Dad is skipping out on child support and/or alimony payments. She try's to date but now she's an old hag with cottage cheese thighs and two kids that scream at her while she spends the rest of her life single wishing she could find a man again.

The whole system sucks and is super stupid. Everything should just be 50/50. Women are to stupid to realize our lives are better when it is split. But the system makes you go for custody to win money.

So f^*ked up!!

[GBurke]

Do you know how many custody cases actually make it to trial? Four percent, and out of that number only 1.5% actually complete custody litigation. The majority of cases are resolved between the mother and father themselves, meaning that most fathers ultimately agree to give over custody to the mother.

Even if custody does get awarded to the mother most of the time (assuming the case actually goes to trial), there's an obvious reason for this. Overall, women still shoulder most of the burden when it comes to childcare, therefore it only makes sense that the parent who puts in the most effort towards raising their kid should also have custody. Unless they're mentally unfit or abusive of course.

[jp612612]

I have to say, I don't think you know what you're talking about. Yes, most cases don't make it to trial but that's a cost issue more than anything. My divorce rang up $210k in attorney fees and I fully understand that most couples don't have the resources to do that. We did not go to trial, but if we did, my attorney estimated that trial would have added about $70k in fees. We did not have any sort of custody litigation because there's nothing to litigate and there never is. In a divorce where children are involved, parenting evaluations are required by the court and unless the parents agree to something different, the court will 100% of the time go with the parenting plan recommended by the evaluator. Because of that, there is nothing to litigate because you can't get better/worse than the evaluator's recommendation. You COULD try to litigate to get something different from the evaluator's plan, but you're never going to win there so that's why that number is going to be low.

[GBurke]

@jp612612 Custody evaluations are required if the mother and father can't come up with a parenting plan on their own or with the help of a mediator. Again, the vast majority of custody cases are resloved

[GBurke]

@jp612612 this way or simply by way of mutual agreement between the two parties.

[GBurke]

this way as in mediation, I meant.

[witherwing]

I think it's because it's believed women have a natural bond with their children and a nurturing instinct. I know in many cases this isn't actually the truth and would think that the court should consider more the financial capability to care for children, the children's own opinions (if old enough to decide) and maybe even the fact that they wouldn't have to change schools and leave their friends. I don't actually know how these things are settled. My parent's are divorced, but they had joint custody, even though we lived with our dad, and he basically took care of us.

[Blackmoonsns]

Feminisn has been play a big role in government for a long time now. Fast forward almost 50 years we all live in a world where being a women is to be a victim 100%, and a man a criminal 100%. Bucause of what life was like for women before feminism now a days to be a man is to be oppressed as a for of reparations for women. Take a close look find a man who has lost everything to a women who was a great man, his kids, house, money, even may have did jail time. Why because women have the power to break a man when ever she wants. So why are the courts bias? Because feminist women run the show now, and it's pay back time!

[aaaaabbbbb]

I love pay back time!, lol

[Blackmoonsns]

@aaaaabbbbb lol. It suck for me I'm a man the worst part beside relationship are cops are so ready to shoot a guy when the rape , or abuse card is played.

[aaaaabbbbb]

Every gender has its bad parts. For a long time, women weren't equal to men, which really made me upset when I learned that in 8th grade. We weren't even allowed to vote because of something we can't control. And we too have a lot other problems! lol

[Blackmoonsns]

@aaaaabbbbb yes both women, and men have problems. We study history to learn from the mistakes of the past, and to learn from them. After a horrible ordeal happens we should look for balance in life not revenge. Leveling the playing field in equality is the goal, but to punish a person because of what happened in the past is not equality. This is the cycle of oppression just moving from one place to another. If we as a people want a better tomorrow today we all need to look at the world we are living in and see how are way of life is effecting every one beside our self. To change the world for the better some times we must give up a bit of who we are to create not the perfect woman, or man, but the perfect world we live in.

[aaaaabbbbb]

I know that, but imagine, right now there are people in the world (mostly females) who are considered not as good as others because the way they were born- something they cannot control. I myself grew in a house where of course everybody were equal. I didn't even know about the gender inequality problem until about 14.
But, unlike me, my mom grew in a traditional house, meaning her mother stayed home and her father was the head of the house. My mom has a brother who's younger than her by 9 years. I once asked my parents how come my grand parents behaved so diffirently to my mom and uncle when they were kids (I heard stories from when they were kids). I thought it was only because of the age difference and the fact that my grandparents changed and grew to be better people, but my parents told me it's because of the genders. Like muslims, Chinese, Japanese, some Jews, and more, they wanted male.

[aaaaabbbbb]

Why should my mother be jealous of her brother for something like this?
How's that fair?

[HandsomeGuy500]

@aaaaabbbbb When you were in 8th grade did they also teach you that today in the western world women have more rights and privileges than men?

[Blackmoonsns]

@aaaaabbbbb no one can help how others treat them, we can only learn from all the bad to make the good. I grew up in a house where my mothers boyfriend hated me because i was not his kid. I learnd as a child bad think will happen to people no matter if you are a man or a woman. Take what you learned from your family past to create change for the better.

[0112358]

In a lot of marriages the male sacrifices by going to work -more- to support the family while the mother sacrifices her career. This isn't necessarily a choice men would make if they understood it would result in them losing custody. But at the time most are imagining their marriage will last.

[DheeBabe]

i have to agree with this sometime women dont even have jobs or means to care for the child on their own and they still win the custody battle because they slander the father. then they demand child support and more often than not, use it for themselves and not the child. I've seen a lot of good fathers not even have visitation rights because all the women has to say is he is abusive and the court automatically gives her the win

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Because the laws are written and enforced by faggotass White Knights.

If you ever needed proof that that 'patriarchy' shit that the hatepigs drone on and on about it absolute horseshit, a look at 'Family' law (specifically, divorce and child custody) should be all you need to show you what a load of bollocks everything the hatepigs say is.

[accortez]

I think both parents should have custody. Joint, 50/50, something for both. I won't lie, in most married couples, I think the mother is a better parent. The father isn't bad, just not as attentive.
And I think both parents should both be made to put child support money into a joint account to care for the kids. It should be income based and that way both parents have to work together to support the kids financially.

[Matti_Jr]

Laws are designed to protect women who get married and/or have kids because guys can get a woman pregnant easily and just bounce while she has to deal with the financial and emotional burdens of kids. Courts will favor the woman unless she's a drug addict, unsafe for the kids in some fashion, makes no attempt to take care of the kids etc.

Guys should just get vasectomies when they're 18 and not get married period unless they get a prenuptial agreement in place first.

[Fortheman]

Women claim they have the right to abort pregnancies because it's their body so shouldn't they also have the responsibility to protect themselves from getting pregnant!! That's what birth control is for!
Women have the right to say no to sex without a condom.
I am so tired of women blaming a man for her problems or using circumstances for financial gain. Once you have a child you need to grow up, face reality and take care of your own no matter what. Women fought for "equality" (something that people fail to understand is unattainable due to our vast differences) so start acting the role and take responsibility for your actions! Equality involves shoveling the sh^t just like the men have to do.

[InfoBot]

I think that it should be decided by a physical tug of war. Each parent should take hold of one arm of the child and then they should pull until one parent pulls the child away from the other. If the child splits in two then the one holding the most part of the body wins, just like with a wishbone.

[AynonOMouse]

The court system is very biased against men. It should always be equal 50/50 custody unless one parent abused the kids (proven abuse not made up BS by their ex). And there should be no support paid at all by either parent if it is equal custody.
Anyone who disagrees is very sexist.

[artie1983]

Don't believe all the rumours lol. My daughter has lived with me since she was 4 after a three year battle with the courts to prove I was worthy of the opportunity. She is now almost 14

[Barrabus_the_Free]

One case, out of thousands. ONE. And it took a three year battle. NO woman would have had to fight the legal system for three years to get her own kid.

I'm glad you prevailed, but don't think for a second that your story is anything other than an incredible fluke.

[artie1983]

So sceptical. I'd hardly call it a fluke though

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Statistically, I'm completely right.

[artie1983]

Statistically maybe. But I fought hard to gain custody of my daughter. No dirty tricks, no lies, just proving beyond doubt that I was my daughter's best option for a happy, settled life

[Barrabus_the_Free]

I have absolutely ZERO doubt about that, bud. I've seen how hard men have to fight to even get visitation, nevermind custody. The few men that I know that have gotten custody had to fight not only their ex, but also the System, and it took years and many thousands of dollars. And for every one that has succeeded, man, many more have lost after all that time and money. It didn't matter to the System if the mother was a druggie or a drunk, if she would abuse them or neglect them, and he was a great parent who could be around all the time, it still wanted to give the kids to her.

You won against long odds, and your daughter will turn out better for it. Congrats, bro.

[HandsomeGuy500]

I guess it's because the mother is the one who goes through the pain of pregnancy and giving birth. I have no problem with mothers getting full custody, unless she is an abusive parent. The problem I have is when mothers use kids as a weapon and tell lies in family courts in order to block a father's access to his children. This is where family courts are evil and corrupt.

[Justinaveragedude]

Because women have maternal instincts, men do not. Also, the kid pops out of a woman.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Common sense. The idiots down voted you. Lol

[Justinaveragedude]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy I know

[JustRollTheDice]

My parents had joint custody and I went to my dad's every Wednesday and second weekend

[Zer0Ghost]

Because just because someone says they won't be discrimantory doesn't mean they haven't learned how not to be

[None11am]

In general kids need their mother more than their father, unless she's obviously abusive

[pagen]

Watch the documentary "the red pill" its a complicated subject but the documentary covers it pretty well.

[aaaaabbbbb]

Because if the parents both tried their hardest, women could do more for a young child (depends on age). I don't know why that's the case for older children.

[WeirdoWerdo]

Coz the women if often seen as the one who takes care of ze children...

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I believe because women are naturally more affectionate and tender with children compared to men.

[Asad1ONE1]

Same here

[masterotaku]

because there is still too much bias in our gender discourse. and both genders are to blame for this.

[Partywithtom]

What a minute? what about my privledge? where can I can that in?