Should I break the no-contact rule?

[Anonymous]

I want to break the no-contact rule not to reconcile with her, but to address some unresolved issues that are bothering me, which I believe I can't move on without expressing.

[Oliverlogan263]

I wouldn't recommend breaking no contact just to address unresolved issues man. Here's why:

- Your ex is probably moving on by now. Bringing up old stuff will just confuse her and set you back in her moving on.

- Chances are nothing good will come from it. She ain't gonna give you closure most likely, and then you'll feel even worse after.

- Gotta let go of needing answers or her to understand. This stuff is usually just in our heads - won't really make us feel better.

- You said it yourself, you can't reconcile. So just reopening lines of communication won't serve the goal of actually moving on fully.

My advice would be to find other ways to deal with those unresolved feelings without actually contacting her. Maybe write her a letter you don't send, vent to friends, see a therapist - whatever helps you process it on your own. If you really need to air it out, write it down and burn/shred it to let it go symbolically.

No contact exists to get over the breakup fully. I'd say stay strong a little longer and you'll move on even better without interfering with her moving on too. You've got this man!

[slatyb]

What rule is that? Did she tell you not to contact her? Then don't. Otherwise you can reach out and see if she responds.

[DishLady]

Don’t do it… you’re just stirring up old stuff and it will come bite you in the 🍑.

[BonzoInBitburg]

If you broke up, stay broken up. Just move on. There's a reason you broke up and chose not to work it out when you were together.

[Pinay_ako]

Do not.

[laly520]

yes
in this case