Every time I ask how she's doing maybe once over a text, she responds with..."oh you know...hanging out with a few black men" At first it was funny and I went along with it...but recently she's just been saying that! only after a couple more texts will she start talking about something else! What is going on, I know she doesn't mean it because her parents are home with her (its a weekend) and I know she is not into that sort of thing, we've talked for hours every day on skype and I know that she wants to wait at least until sophomore year college to lose her virginity...so I don't think she's cheating! But it really bothers me..SO HOW can I confront her about it without sounding...too angry or obsessive?!?
My girlfriend always pretends to CHEAT! What's up with that?
What Girls Said 1
Next time she does it just say "hey babe, it bugs me when you do that. Can you just give me an honest answer?" Don't be too harsh or make her feel attacked but don't beat around the bush or she won't get the message. If she continues doing it after that just say something like "I thought we talked about that...". If she really cares for you she'll probably stop.1
What Guys Said 4
Sit down with her and be honest. Say it makes you feel uncomfortable and you want her to stop.1
This bothers you. That's understandable. I think it's a sign of commitment on your part that you're bothered by her saying, "I was on the phone with three black guys." In a joking way.
I know it may not feel like she wants to change her behavior for you to feel more comfortable. But hear me out.
I think she's trying to test you with her behavior. That it's her subconscious drive to find out if you'll be there for her even when she's angry at you.
This is what I like to call the Bodhisatva test or Walking on Coals. You basically excel at this test by showing her love and loving her even when she's being rude or mean to you. I know the shock of this task is riveting. After you pop your eye balls back into your head. Please continue reading.
Trust me, I know this is pretty much a mission impossible level task. However, it's a lot more feasible than you might think ;)
Just do things that make you feel you've a surplus of love and good energy. Well rested, fed, water, time to do your favorite exercise, yoga, meditation, creative arts. :) Hang with nourishing relationships: Parents or friends.
Whatever makes you feel like you're ready to go show your girlfriend love.
Then you go and set a timer. And make sure your timer is set on your phone to go off when its time for you to leave seeing her. **Side Note***Don't get stuck in forever hangouts my friend. These do not end well as you get sick of each other and take each other for granted more.*End of Side Note*.
Commit to loving her no matter what for the whole time that the timer is running. Then stop. Try to gauge about where is a good workout for your mind's "Love Muscle".
Sorry I know that's from a Fifty Cent song as well. But, I seriously couldn't come up with anything better. ^It makes sense darn it!^
No matter where you start, just build up slowly, maybe five minutes at a time. Even if you do like 5 minutes to start it will build up massive momentum in your relationship together. Like the Butterfly effect. You can change the tides of your relationship by loving her for longer and longer.
It may sound like it's draining, or tiring or whatever. But, if you do this. You will:
1. Have a lot better self-care and
2. Trust that she'll learn to love you back
3. May this be the best investment you've ever made in your life! ;)
This is a dude, she only does this to seek your reaction, it's a shit test to see how you'll react. She wants to see if you'll get jealous or not. My girlfriend tries to do it to me as well, but I just do it back to her. Don't take it so seriously, if she really was with a bunch of black men, do you think she would tell you, probably not. Just keep playing along with it, in fact flip the table on her, say your with your sisters friends or something. At first she might say "your not with them" but just keep reinforcing that you are. Win the battle, scare her like she is scaring you, take back the torch. Go to parties without her, go hang out with other girls without her, have her feeling that you could leave her at any moment, that you don't NEED her. It's hard at first but keep cracking at it and then you'll be the one in control soon enough.0
she's bluffing bruh, she just tryna get you jealous. She hit a big toll called'insecurity0
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