My ex has cut me out of this life!

My ex boyfriend and I didn't have a bad break up. I've bumped into him twice in the last few days-walked right passed me and I could've been air! Why do some men feel the need to completely cut you out as if you never were anything and are nothing now? I just want us to be able to wave and smile and move along! He's acting like I dumped HIM, which is not the case!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Maybe you're the exception, but many women will think, or at least speculate, that if I maintain contact, then I wish to maintain the romantic relationship.I have to make the end of the relationship clear.

    2. Again, maybe you're the exception, but some women use continued contact to try to solve relationship issues. They fail to realize that my relationship issues are all solved--that's what the breakup was for.

    3. Realize that the end of the relationship has to be clear not only to my ex-girlfriend, but to any *future* girlfriend currently wondering whether I'm single. Only a few, bold girls would ask "Single yet?" Most would watch my behavior--especially toward my ex.

    Wait a few months, until he's adjusted.

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    • I don't really have any unresolved questions to "get into it" about the break up-I'm content moving forward with or without answers. This is honestly just about common courtesy. Because our relationship was good while it lasted and we share a TON of mutual friends I feel like there is no reason we can't politely acknowledge one another. If it's too soon to have a convo that's fine, I just want to pass him on the street, smile, wave, and continue walking until he can handle more.

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What Guys Said 6

  • There are multiple ways for a person to handle a breakup... His way, which would also be the same as me, is to completely eliminate the ex out of his life. Even if I accidentally ran into them, I don't want to see them or talk to them. This is my coping mechanism of moving on emotionally. It doesn't make sense for her to wave or try to start a conversation with me... To ask how I've been doing? I'd say I've been feeling like shit. And seeing her would just bring back those emotions and it wouldn't make things any better. I would want nothing to do with that person because I'd be trying to move on. I don't understand why exes remain in contact.. To be friends? Why? y'all were once emotionally attached and had something going on.. and now you're trying to make things better by being friends? It doesn't work like that... one of you will continue to never move on emotionally... What if of you decide to see other people? Do you think that ex wants to know about that? No... just eliminate each other until there isn't any emotions involved.

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  • It's really hard for some guys to lose someone they care about. We don't like to show it and in some cases we'll beat ourselves up over it and no one will know the differ. Shutting you out could be a defensive mechanism to keep him from hurting himself. Or, he could just be an asshole. *shrugs* Take it a day at a time and see what happens. Good luck.

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  • i do that all the time. After a relationship with a girl, I don't even pay attention to them. whether it was a good or bad break up. that's what you do after a relationship, you move on. Forget and let live

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    • Yes but does that mean you are openly rude and snub her? I think there is a difference between "moving on and let live" and blatantly ignoring to make some "point" that isn't real moving on to me.

    • Your right there is a pretty big difference. but if he's going to act like a little bitch let it stay his own problem

  • In a way he's just being an asshole, but he probably feels he's justified in it. Not sure of the whole situation you're through, but you said it was a bad breakup, he's probably very hurt over the whole ordeal. In his mind he probably wants you to feel the pain that he's feeling, and ignoring you is the easiest way to do so. I've done the same thing with my ex, she hurt me more than anything in the world, so to get back I've just been ignoring her existance, and I know that eats her up inside because she wanted to remain friends . I still care about her greatly, and I'm sure your ex does too, but somewhere in our warped little minds this makes us feel better about the situation. Immature, I know.

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    • Actually I think I said it WASNT a bad breakup-He came over, didn't want to be in the relationship anymore and that was that. We had a good relationship and never fought-in the end I think he hit a crossroads and chose to be without me. His choice and he didn't want my input. I've worked hard over the past months to get my life back on track, and I'm generally a happy, content person in spite of the pain. I just want us to be peaceful!

  • Good for him. In fact, it's the healthiest way is to completely cut people out of your life. No one owes anyone an explanation, either. Rejection is part of life. If you can't handle it, then it ultimately comes down to your own self esteem.

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  • Id carry on being really nice to him, he/l come round one day, just don't get back together.

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What Girls Said 3

  • He's an asshole. Its immature and selfish. Adults communicate and blowing someone off like that is abusive.

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  • Maybe he does not care or he is trying to hurt you. I think you have to figure out which of the two it is. But anyways if I saw my ex I probably wouldn't speak to him or I would. It all depends all I feel that day...lol

    But anyways, just ignore him. Don't worry about why he is ignoring you.

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  • He is getting on with his life, but you are right, there was no need for him to have been rude. In fact you are the one who should have acted like he wasn't there. You are best ignoring him and leaving him to it. Some guys just ain't worth it thinking about. He dumped you, for what ever the reason, and now he is being rude, it says it all.

    Just get on with your life. Go out with friends, have fun and enjoy life. Its not all about him, its about you. So get going girl and laugh and smile. cos some nicer guy will be there for you and one who deserves your love and care.

    I wish you the best of luck. Take care

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    • I completely agree with this. Even with the break-up, there's absolutely no excuse for him to be cold towards you. He could easily smile and wave and still make it clear that he's not up for talking right now.

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