My girlfriend and I just recently broke up because we moved to fast, what can I do?

[Anonymous]

About a week and a half ago my girlfriend, who I had been with for almost 2 months, broke up with me. A week before we broke up she became distant and I could tell something wasn't right. She told me that we moved too fast and that she still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend(they broke up about a month before we got together). Also her family and friends really liked me and didn't really like him, because I don't think he treated her right at all I told her that I understood because I had been there before myself and I know it can be really hard. The weekend before she became distant I had spent with her family and friends, and she had made plans for us to go on a trip with them in about 6 months. As soon as we got back is when things instantly changed. The weekend after we broke up we went on a canoe trip with a bunch of friends, since it had been planned before we broke up. We had a blast and basically hung out all weekend, and had some really deep conversations too(only briefly discussing our relationship). That is the only contact I have had with her since the break up as I want to give her space and let her figure out what she wants. Is there anything I should be doing beyond this? I don't want either of us to pass on a potential relationship, what should I do? We will probably see each other here and there down the road because we share a lot of mutual friends. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Updates

+1 y

On a quick side note, she told me that her ex-boyfriend had started calling her. I think that may have caused her to be distant.

Updates

+1 y

Another side note as well, she told me that she broke up with him because of his unwillingness to commit. He enjoyed the single life more.

[lost-angel]

Its like a love triangle!

She is running after her ex, you are running after her, and her ex is, well - ok I guess itz not really a triangle.

Anywayz give her space. She is really confused right now. If you want to know the truth, she was just using you to get the love and attention she couldn't get from her ex. Like, she was using you to fill in the emptiness.

She probably thought that going out with you would help her forget about her ex, and she would eventually fall in love with you down the road. But that usually fails. And, she finally realized it and decided to leave you. Which, trust me, was the smartest move she did for YOU and for herself.

I know it hurts for you because you seem to really like this girl. But you really have to leave her alone right now. Don't text or call to reassure her of your feelings. Because it won't help her make her final decision. Plus, she will know that when she is lonely, or heartbroken, she can use you again. However, when you do bump into her or see her in person, talk to her, and show her you still care.

It will take time for her to figure out which man she really wants. Hopefully that man will be you, but if its not, at least you didn't waste your time for someone who doesn't really love you.

Just do your thing, and slowly move on. When she finally realizes you are the one she wants to be with, she will contact you. But don't sit around, hoping.

[Asker]

I agree, and that was what I planned on doing. I'll just give her space and let her figure it out. We aren't on bad terms, and never had a fight. So it's up to her, in the meantime I'll keep living my life as I always have.

[Anonymous]

don't interfere too much or she'll get frustrated. she needs to know she's in control and that you'll give her choices. but if she's the kind that needs a assurance, drop by once in a while to say hi or play the part as a friend. let her see that you care for her, don't do it too deeply, or else you may upset her. hope it helps.

[sassysenorita]

it sounds like she is thinking about giving her ex another chance and wants to let you down easy by being distant. if she gets back with him then move on. until then I suggest being her friend and letting her know that you care and will respect whatever decision she makes.

[Asker]

That makes sense. Another thing I had thought too was that because of his lack of commitment, that maybe she was filling that hole with me. If that's the case then she definitely wasn't over him the entire time. Although right before we started dating I told her that I knew that there was still some sort of situation with her ex-boyfriend. She assured me that it didn't matter and that she didn't want to pass someone like me up.

[sassysenorita]

Sounds like she was very confused when she met you. she cares for you but she won't deserve you until she gets this looser out of her life, and if she can't I'm sorry to say that you will have to leave her life in a relationship sense.

[Asker]

We had known each other for about 5 months before she told me that she liked me. So I will just be myself since we probably will see each other fairly frequently. She liked me for a reason before, so who knows, if she will again great, if not oh well. I'm not going to put my life on hold though or make any forward advances toward because it would probably just push her away more than already is.

[masterchief]

Honestly I think that you should let her do what she wants. The problem is if you keep asking her things about the relationship she'll get mad and think your too clingy.been there done that.you've handled it well if you only briefly talked about your relationship. In my eyes, what happens with most girls and 99% of the time I see these things coming with my own and other peoples relationships, they all want what they can't have and once they have that thing, they will realize that with you is where it was real and she will come crawling back. That is my guess, I am not saying that will happen for sure, but it happens most of the time. Look at movies how often does it happen? Those things happen everyday, its happened to me multiple times.

[jocard09]

Look her ex sounds like an ass. Sit back and enjoy the show. He'll screw it up in no time and you'll be there ready to lean on. Or be a man and tell her how you feel. Don't pressure her into committing into being in a relationship with you just show her how she should be treated. Go all out and show her that her ex isn't worth it and that your much better. She'll eventually fall for you. Or wait and I'm sure her ex will do something to screw it up.

[LoveYourself17]

Unless she can move away from her past, this will be hard on you. Sounds like she still have a lot of emotional baggages with her ex. I would just do your own thing at this point and let her be. She seems like a really confused person. Best of luck!