Why does my ex boyfriend want to take me out to lunch to "talk to me"?

Question

So first off me and my ex boyfriend have been together for more than 1 year He was the most affectionate and caring guy I've ever been with and was so loyal to me but i still didn't trust him 100% (due to my past relationships) So 2 weeks ago, we had an argument over the phone and its about my trust issues and I kept accusing him of cheating and wanting other girls and then he got fed up with me and broke it off over the phone Then he immediately blocked me on facebook and instagram and deleted all our pictures on his facebook and instagram We didn't have contact ever since I never reached out, he never reached out within these 2 weeks Until tonight He called me. This was our conversation: Me - hello? Him - hey... Me - *quiet* Him - u there? Me - yeah Him - are u home? If you're not, im sorry if im disturbing u Me - yeah im home. Whats up? Him - oh.. i just wanted to know if you're free sometime this week? I wanna talk to you Me - umm... Him - are u free anytime this week? Me - *quiet coz im confused* Him - hello? Me - yea im free this friday? Him - oh okay.. yeah can u do lunch on friday? Me - um okay Him - yeah coz i have day off work on Friday Me - yeah same Him - okay. What time u wanna meet? Me - around 2pm? Him - yeah okay. I will message u then yeah Me - okay Him - alright see u then. Bye Then we hung up What the f? What does he want? I do still care and love him but I don't know im in shock and confused! Why does he want to go for lunch? And want to talk to me? Coz he felt guilty for breaking up over the phone and wants to break up in person? Or coz he wants to go back together? What do u guys think?

Curiousbynature31 · Accepted Answer

I d say he is thinking about you. He can’t let you go but, for a guy a call can mean many things.
He wants to go out with your boyfriend
He wants to get back together
Decided he wants to be friends (not a great idea)
Or a friends with benefits.

However if he wants to get back together have serious talk. Let him know trust issues won’t go away tomorrow but girl, make an effort to stop expecting the worse. If he has called you and wants to try again that is a good reason to start that trust. Think about ways trust can be increased in your relationship. No, checking his phone, computer, iPad is not an acceptable thin and will only hurt the relationship. You need to work hard on you and realize this is your issue and not his. If you want this to succeed, then you should try trusting until there is reason not to. I always remind myself when I get worried he has done nothing before to make him untrustworthy. Be reasonable, a guy is going to look at women when out and about just like women look at guys. It does not mean they want to fuck them more than you, it’s like staring at a juicy hamburger. You can’t help it. It means nothing he is with you. If you can’t do this mid switch, your relationship will never work out.

designer1 · Accepted Answer

Sounds like he felt guilty about how things turned out because he really cares about you. He was really hurt at first by your trust issues but none of that matters to him anymore at the moment because he just wants you in his life again and doesn’t want things to end the way they did. It seems like he may just want to have you in his life again and to apologize but it is also likely that he still wants to be with you in a relationship

newbie2015 · Accepted Answer

Yes. He wants you back. BUT not the crazed lunatic who yells at him about trust issues. So lunchnis a test. Its a forum for him to set limuts, and rightfully so. No one wants to date a horrible nag. Which is what you were, even if the other the 80% of the time you rocked. So hopefully you've grown. Go into "lunch" with some ideas of how youve changed in the last 2 weeks to becime a less insecure person.

freakyzeaky · Accepted Answer

Chances are, he just needed time apart. Lots of couples break up and with enough separation, the person who initiated the break up will come back when they are ready to get back together.

Sometimes it takes time to realize what we had and to regroup and gather our thoughts.

When you go out to lunch, talk to him about how you really feel and let him express himself too. Don't judge him at all. Try to explain why you think the way you do and see if you can figure out ways to be less insecure and how to make each other happy. Whatever you do, don't be defensive. Try to understand and try to make him understand.

hulkster · Accepted Answer

Just go for lunch with him, and stop assuming what he want from you. You can't blame for breaking up with you , your trust issues were driving him mad.
I would suggest you get help with your trust issues before entering another relationship, otherwise you will be lucky to have any long term happy relationships with anyone. You can't solve a problem, if you don't acknowledge you have one. . I also suggest stop blaming men for your trust issues, not every man is a dirty cheat bag.

I quiet frankly don't think you should date, until you get your trust issues sorted. Emotional baggage is not cute.

haze360 · Answer

Ok I see a lot of you guys saying he's wants sex so I'm assuming you misread what she said about her trust issues she didn't say he cheated on her what she said was she didn't trust him because of past experiences and it sounds like she acknowledges that the argument they had was caused by said issues if that's the case then he probably didn't cheat on her so he may just feel bad that he broke it off in the heat of the moment during an argument and is trying to reconcile that seems like the most possible reason

unsame · Answer

I doubt it's as simple as those two options. Until you speak with him, there's no way to know. My advice would be to go in with an open mind, and remember that you also had a hand in this situation. Odds are he still loves you too, and was just feeling hurt.

SnapTsch · Answer

Based on whatever you have shared, it seems like he cares for you and doesn't want to give up on you and wants to give the relationship another chance.
Doesn't seem like him asking to lunch and wanting to talk is coming from a place of malice

Rj4129 · Answer

I obviously don't know anything about y'all relationship. But it sounds like he is a good guy. And obviously with your trust issues this may be hard, but give him some more benefit. And him as well, if he truly loves you he will work through those issues with you.

Alanfra · Answer

He wants you back, he loves you, but you need to get over your trust issues. He did nothing wrong and you caused an argument and a break up because of this.  You need to let go and trust this man

Basian05 · Answer

He wants to work through your guys issues and the starting point would be then

Browneye57 · Answer

You're just not ready for dating. Consider yourself lucky he would put up with your BS.  Fix yourself first, your life, before bringing someone else into to it.

winterfox10 · Answer

He's trying to give you a second chance. He had those 2 weeks to cool off, and he wants to know if you have the ability to change your behavior.

SarahsSummer · Answer

It’s impossible to know other than he has some unfinished business with you. Just go into it cautiously with no preconceived expectations and you’ll be fine.

CrapScentedFudge_ · Answer

Go get tested, he might be calling cause he got a std or something but I don't know hit us back up with the deets

readywriter · Answer

he is formally breaking up unless you can prove you will change this jealousy thing. Curb your tongue and hear him out completely before you talk.

false · Answer

its either he wants to get back together or he's pregnant😒

Anonymous · Answer

My ex was like that. He told me he loved me and then he just used me... we went out for drinks and he ate me out although i was on my period and no guy has ever been so nice to me like that. Then he didn't call me again...

jacquesvol · Answer

The last time an ex asked me to lunch together she wanted to borrow $2000. I said no and she was angry.

Nomad6993 · Answer

Males think its easier to screw an ex than someone new this is not true and is not worth the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it

ReaRose14 · Answer

he probably realizes the mistakes he made, and wants to fix them

Anonymous · Answer

Going through the stages of breaking up, and likely wants to try to get back with you. You have to stay strong though. You can't let him back in to your life

audaciter85 · Answer

Maybe he caught an STD and is doing the right thing

hornymike6969 · Answer

cause he wants some ass. and be easier to get from you then chasing a new girl around

PrincessPie · Answer

The latter.

cupidkisses · Answer

he wants to go back together

GrayWhi2 · Answer

Maybe he wants to be with you again.

321rose · Answer

The new thing didn't work out

Delroy1995 · Answer

He wants you

Why does my ex boyfriend want to take me out to lunch to "talk to me"?

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