Why does my ex boyfriend want to take me out to lunch to "talk to me"?

[Anonymous]

So first off me and my ex boyfriend have been together for more than 1 year He was the most affectionate and caring guy I've ever been with and was so loyal to me but i still didn't trust him 100% (due to my past relationships) So 2 weeks ago, we had an argument over the phone and its about my trust issues and I kept accusing him of cheating and wanting other girls and then he got fed up with me and broke it off over the phone Then he immediately blocked me on facebook and instagram and deleted all our pictures on his facebook and instagram We didn't have contact ever since I never reached out, he never reached out within these 2 weeks Until tonight He called me. This was our conversation: Me - hello? Him - hey... Me - *quiet* Him - u there? Me - yeah Him - are u home? If you're not, im sorry if im disturbing u Me - yeah im home. Whats up? Him - oh.. i just wanted to know if you're free sometime this week? I wanna talk to you Me - umm... Him - are u free anytime this week? Me - *quiet coz im confused* Him - hello? Me - yea im free this friday? Him - oh okay.. yeah can u do lunch on friday? Me - um okay Him - yeah coz i have day off work on Friday Me - yeah same Him - okay. What time u wanna meet? Me - around 2pm? Him - yeah okay. I will message u then yeah Me - okay Him - alright see u then. Bye Then we hung up What the f? What does he want? I do still care and love him but I don't know im in shock and confused! Why does he want to go for lunch? And want to talk to me? Coz he felt guilty for breaking up over the phone and wants to break up in person? Or coz he wants to go back together? What do u guys think?

Coz he felt guilty for breaking up over the phone so wants to talk and break up in person

Coz he wants to go back together

[Curiousbynature31]

I d say he is thinking about you. He can’t let you go but, for a guy a call can mean many things.
He wants to go out with your boyfriend
He wants to get back together
Decided he wants to be friends (not a great idea)
Or a friends with benefits.

However if he wants to get back together have serious talk. Let him know trust issues won’t go away tomorrow but girl, make an effort to stop expecting the worse. If he has called you and wants to try again that is a good reason to start that trust. Think about ways trust can be increased in your relationship. No, checking his phone, computer, iPad is not an acceptable thin and will only hurt the relationship. You need to work hard on you and realize this is your issue and not his. If you want this to succeed, then you should try trusting until there is reason not to. I always remind myself when I get worried he has done nothing before to make him untrustworthy. Be reasonable, a guy is going to look at women when out and about just like women look at guys. It does not mean they want to fuck them more than you, it’s like staring at a juicy hamburger. You can’t help it. It means nothing he is with you. If you can’t do this mid switch, your relationship will never work out.

[designer1]

Sounds like he felt guilty about how things turned out because he really cares about you. He was really hurt at first by your trust issues but none of that matters to him anymore at the moment because he just wants you in his life again and doesn’t want things to end the way they did. It seems like he may just want to have you in his life again and to apologize but it is also likely that he still wants to be with you in a relationship

[newbie2015]

Yes. He wants you back. BUT not the crazed lunatic who yells at him about trust issues. So lunchnis a test. Its a forum for him to set limuts, and rightfully so. No one wants to date a horrible nag. Which is what you were, even if the other the 80% of the time you rocked. So hopefully you've grown. Go into "lunch" with some ideas of how youve changed in the last 2 weeks to becime a less insecure person.

[Asker]

Why do u think he wants me back then?

[newbie2015]

Because the 80% that is not a lunatic is awesome! That dpes NOT mean you both will rekindle things successfully if you do not change that 20% though... so be part of the positive. Be part of the change.

[freakyzeaky]

Chances are, he just needed time apart. Lots of couples break up and with enough separation, the person who initiated the break up will come back when they are ready to get back together.

Sometimes it takes time to realize what we had and to regroup and gather our thoughts.

When you go out to lunch, talk to him about how you really feel and let him express himself too. Don't judge him at all. Try to explain why you think the way you do and see if you can figure out ways to be less insecure and how to make each other happy. Whatever you do, don't be defensive. Try to understand and try to make him understand.

[Asker]

So does that mean he has been thinking about me?

[freakyzeaky]

That would be my guess, yes. If he wasn't thinking about you, and wanted to truly put you behind him, he wouldn't have reached out.

[hulkster]

Just go for lunch with him, and stop assuming what he want from you. You can't blame for breaking up with you , your trust issues were driving him mad.
I would suggest you get help with your trust issues before entering another relationship, otherwise you will be lucky to have any long term happy relationships with anyone. You can't solve a problem, if you don't acknowledge you have one. . I also suggest stop blaming men for your trust issues, not every man is a dirty cheat bag.

I quiet frankly don't think you should date, until you get your trust issues sorted. Emotional baggage is not cute.

[haze360]

Ok I see a lot of you guys saying he's wants sex so I'm assuming you misread what she said about her trust issues she didn't say he cheated on her what she said was she didn't trust him because of past experiences and it sounds like she acknowledges that the argument they had was caused by said issues if that's the case then he probably didn't cheat on her so he may just feel bad that he broke it off in the heat of the moment during an argument and is trying to reconcile that seems like the most possible reason

[haze360]

Oh I would also point out that OP said he treated her very well during the relationship so it seems unlikely that he would just call her for a booty call

[unsame]

I doubt it's as simple as those two options. Until you speak with him, there's no way to know. My advice would be to go in with an open mind, and remember that you also had a hand in this situation. Odds are he still loves you too, and was just feeling hurt.

[Asker]

Oh okay
Would it make sense if he wants to see me just to break up in person?

[SnapTsch]

Based on whatever you have shared, it seems like he cares for you and doesn't want to give up on you and wants to give the relationship another chance.
Doesn't seem like him asking to lunch and wanting to talk is coming from a place of malice

[Asker]

Oh okay
Would it make sense if he wants to see me just to break up in person?

[SnapTsch]

Not to break up in person , because you are already broken up.
He may want to clear the air and part ways on good terms
Or
He might want to propose a friends with benefits arrangement to continue the sex without having to put in the emotions and efforts

[Rj4129]

I obviously don't know anything about y'all relationship. But it sounds like he is a good guy. And obviously with your trust issues this may be hard, but give him some more benefit. And him as well, if he truly loves you he will work through those issues with you.

[Alanfra]

He wants you back, he loves you, but you need to get over your trust issues.
He did nothing wrong and you caused an argument and a break up because of this.
You need to let go and trust this man

[Basian05]

He wants to work through your guys issues and the starting point would be then

[Asker]

Oh okay
Would it make sense if he wants to see me just to break up in person?

[Basian05]

To me no if I ask my ex if she wanted to go to lunch after ending everything so abruptly it means I would want to talk to her about things I had issues with in our relationship. . He obviously has been thinking about you that's why he asked to talk to you in person again in the first place. . You'll be fine I wouldn't let it overly stress you out. If he does that he's a asshole and didn't deserve you in the first place!

[Basian05]

You got this!

[Browneye57]

You're just not ready for dating. Consider yourself lucky he would put up with your BS.
Fix yourself first, your life, before bringing someone else into to it.

[Muney2bMade]

Lol yes. I just spent 2 years of my life with someone exactly like this and they ended up cheating on me lol... women are ridiculous sometimes.

[Browneye57]

@Muney2bMade And all that description text, OMG. She can't even spell - 'coz'? Really?
And she 'never reached out'. Yeah, a real loss there eh?

[Asker]

I can fuckin spell you idiot.
I'm just cutting it short.
I never reached out because he blocked me. you're a bellend. Get the fuck outta here old man

[Browneye57]

Sorry, you don't get to make the rules.

Let's see, he was the best guy ever but you didn't trust him and kept making an issue out of it, and you argue with everything. So who's the real idiot here. :)

[Browneye57]

It's also quite obvious from the way you would treat a complete stranger, a mature elder of yours, that you would treat him as bad or worse. No honey, you got what you got, and it will keep happening over and over and over until YOU change. This isn't my problem, it's YOURS!

[Asker]

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE YOU OLD FUCK

[Caaarl]

Repect some wisdom from your elders. 😂

[Browneye57]

YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE THE RULES YOU LITTLE CUNT.
There... that was easy. Who the fuck do you think you are anyway?

Reminds me of urine. As in urine idiot. LOL

[Asker]

AHAHHAHAA you think you're funny dont you, old motherfucker.
Fuck off ya prick. You talk like you're always right and shit. Get the fuck outta here gronk 👍

[Browneye57]

And you're so weak you hide behind anonymity. A fake noob. What a flake.
Just watch, the guys will dump you one after another just because you're such a raging bitch.
Hope you like cats.

[Asker]

LMFAOOO BITCHH
GUYS BE RUNNING BACK TO ME LIKE MOUSES.
Obviously Im hot.
Fake noob? LMFAOOO omg just pleasr dont, you old fuck 😂😂😂
Keep entertaining me 👌👌

[Asker]

Every girl is a raging bitch by the way.
Obviously you're not experienced for a fuckin 60 year old lmaooo
Need more pussy in your life

[Browneye57]

I've got all the pussy I want or need - but that's not the question is it. So all your little shaming bullshit is just that.
Guys are running back to you? Right. More puppy dogs, rainbows, and pink unicorns for you - you live in a dreamworld.
Just keep it up. In a few short years you'll hit the wall, and finding a suitable mate will become increasingly difficult, eventually will be virtually impossible. Your attitude will chase them away, and then you'll be say, "Wait, where have all the good men gone?"
You're so predictable it's boring.
By now... have fun on GAG. :)

[hulkster]

@QA Browneye is right, insulting him is not going to fix your problems. and he is not going to be the loser when it comes to relationships. If you want to be successful in your life, then you have deal the the truth about yourself. You will never win, if you live in denial. Yes he is right, most guys don't want to put up with these trust issues in a partner. If you don't sort them out, you will be lucky to even reach marriage material. Sorry no guy in his right mind will marry you.

[winterfox10]

He's trying to give you a second chance. He had those 2 weeks to cool off, and he wants to know if you have the ability to change your behavior.

[SarahsSummer]

It’s impossible to know other than he has some unfinished business with you. Just go into it cautiously with no preconceived expectations and you’ll be fine.

[CrapScentedFudge_]

Go get tested, he might be calling cause he got a std or something but I don't know hit us back up with the deets

[readywriter]

he is formally breaking up unless you can prove you will change this jealousy thing. Curb your tongue and hear him out completely before you talk.

[false]

its either he wants to get back together or he's pregnant😒

[Asker]

Lmao wtf pregnant

[false]

maybe he has cancer and going to die soon who knows...

[false]

or he has aids and you should get tested

[false]

this is getting interesting 🤔

[Anonymous]

My ex was like that. He told me he loved me and then he just used me... we went out for drinks and he ate me out although i was on my period and no guy has ever been so nice to me like that. Then he didn't call me again...

[jacquesvol]

The last time an ex asked me to lunch together she wanted to borrow $2000.
I said no and she was angry.

[admelein]

Lmao

[Nomad6993]

Males think its easier to screw an ex than someone new this is not true and is not worth the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it

[ReaRose14]

he probably realizes the mistakes he made, and wants to fix them

[Anonymous]

Going through the stages of breaking up, and likely wants to try to get back with you. You have to stay strong though. You can't let him back in to your life

[Opinion Owner]

If you can handle physical pain, not too much, but, just a little bit, every time he says something or does something that might be "cute", snap a rubber band against your arm, to numb yourself to his advances. he has to understand that he's broke up with you, and is just going through the break up stages (grief)

[Asker]

But he has never cheated on me and he treated me right. We broke up coz i kept accusing him of shit coz of my trust issues. I realize now that I shouldve trusted him.. so why not try again? Why is that bad?

[Opinion Owner]

It doesn't matter, he broke up with you. You have to learn how to trust more, and until then you shouldn't be in a relationship.

[Asker]

So even if he wants me back, it doesn't mean he still loves me? And is not genuine about wanting to be with me?

[Opinion Owner]

If he wants you back, you need to be strong, do not take him back, and learn how to trust people, before you get with someone new

[audaciter85]

Maybe he caught an STD and is doing the right thing

[hornymike6969]

cause he wants some ass. and be easier to get from you then chasing a new girl around

[PrincessPie]

The latter.

[Asker]

May i ask why you think that?

[PrincessPie]

Because he wants to meet you and has got back in contact with you, its very likely he wants to try again.

[Asker]

Oh okay
Do u think that means he has been thinking about me?

[PrincessPie]

Yes, to ring you and ask to meet you, id say so :)