Feeling worthless after being cheated on?

[SupaDsg]

My wife and I were happily married for 3 years (she seemed happy anyway) and best friends for 6 years. About a month and a half ago she brought a date home out of the blue and asked me to move out. I don't have any proof but I have reason to believe that she was meeting up with him for a while. And now I feel absolutely worthless. Did I mean nothing to her when she meant the world to me? Anyone that's ever been cheated on how did you recover? How were you able to trust people again?

[philakapd]

Married 10 years with children. She lied and cheated. I'm not giving advice but I'll share what I'm doing. I divorced her. I speak very little to her and only because we have children together. Her family disowned her for awhile until I recommended everyone to get along.

I try not to think about her or what she did... I can't change it. I move forward and live my life. It's been a year now. I still get mad, sad, dissapointed and angry... just less often. If she enters my mind I quickly focus elsewhere, she isn't worth my time.

After it was over, I discovered she was lying from the day we met. Even her family knew secrets about her. I know them now, but too late.

I have wonderful children, family and friends. I love my life and will move forward to live again in a new way.

It takes time. Good luck. You're not a victim and your not alone!

[SupaDsg]

That's pretty rough. I know what you mean, that I'm not alone because others have gone through it and much worse. But I definitely feel alone without someone by my side at night, or someone to share my dumb ideas with, or cuddle with watching terrible movies. You get the idea

[genericMaleName]

Well those type of people want something always new which means that you could done nothing wrong to cause this, however bring a guy home and asking you to move out in a really in poor taste. If she is using anything you own or have your name in take it away and just move on.

[SupaDsg]

Yeah I already moved out the day after she asked me to leave. It was hard enough seeing my replacement with someone who meant so much to me. I wouldn't have been able to handle living there too.

[moelust]

Alright. If im honest I've been cheated on too. It made me feel the same way, It's hard to recover from. But just think of it this way. It wasn't your loss it was theirs. I know its easier said than done; but try and distract yourself from the thought of what happened. If that don't work; think of it as. A little bump in a road you'll over come. As for trusting people again, give it a little bit of time. And take your time with people; don't instantly trust them. Give it a week or so maybe; of getting to know the person. If there's no red flags, trust them; but dont trust them with everything. However, if they show you that they are trustworthy of everything. Then trust them with everything.

[SupaDsg]

You're right, it was her loss. I was really good to her and she'll probably have a hard time finding someone who will be so accepting and understanding of her unique challenges. I know that in the long run I'll be better off not with her but I feel like I lost something really important too.

[moelust]

you didn't loose anything important or else she would have stayed longer and have been honest with you before throwing it at you last minute

[shelligurl]

I'm here to tell you bro, hearts don't break even. Sorry. I loved him more than he could fathom. Still do. But, I'm not what he wants. And it's rough. I will get through,, you will too.

[SupaDsg]

I'm sure I'll make it through to the other side. The world is full of possibilities after all. But how do you cope with the feeling of your SO betraying you?

[shelligurl]

Seconds at a time. Stay busy. Try to have little contact w him cause it hurts... and porn.